But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you should ever leave me
Well life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows
The Magic Numbers played this track as their entrance.
Couldn't for the life of me think who sang it.
What kind of fucking loser tells the whole world that they are lonely?
What kind of person isn't happy with their own company.
WTF am I going to do next weekend with the kids away. I'll be climbing the walls. Better FIND something to do PDQ.
Xoggoth has put some of my stories (crap stories) on his website which is a bit of an honour stood besides his, my excuse for writing pales. But bless him, he thinks I have potential. In what?
I seem to like friends that are artistic in some way.
The American Guy? he was a very good writer, I loved reading his stuff and I liked that he asked my opinion. He lacked humour though, but he mostly wrote about personal stuff to him and maybe his life had little humour? Maybe.
I remember one day sitting down and writing him something from my childhood. A memory.Something had made me nostalgic and I'd chosen to tell him about it.
I remember the complete devasting hurt I felt when he wrote back, Why had I sent him that? For what point?
Why did there have to be a point?
If there is to be a point to everything than I shouldn't be here. For I serve no real purpose... Well ok, I serve the purpose of being a Mother to my lovely girls, but they'll move on and get lives that may not include me in an active sense.
So I'm kinda wary about sending people stuff.
I'm even getting worse at emailing.
My emails need response. The fact that I sat down and sent something to someone means 'I need contact'
If I don't get a response then I'm easily hurt. Stupidly easily hurt. Idiot woman.
So I don't write much of the time.
I love the email banter, the one liners through across the net. The stuff that makes me smile and lets me be me.
I'm so contradicting. I write stuff and one minute I'm saying there's no point to me and the next sentence says... hey I am here. Talk, email, come see me?
Who the feck could put up with someone like that?
Weird Sunday mood.
Spent the afternoon puking. Yep, happens some days. Who knows why. Except I'm weird. (Fucking too fragile and emotional for counselling CRAP)
Some days I need someone to slap me and say "Pull yourself together"
Collette is rather good at that, so are some of the girls at work. My manager knows me soooo well it's spooky.
Feel a bit better now.
I still maintain that I do need someone to off load to. Someone not emotionally attached to me, to absorb my crap so I can move forward.
Hey maybe I should write that down for the psyhiatrist to chew on?
Going to meet him Tuesday. He's Italian. Dr Dell'erbra. Hope he's handsome. An ugly Italian would be a travesty. If psychiatry does nothing else for me the provision of some decent eye candy would help.
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9 comments:
Wasn't it Brian Wilson of the Beachboys who sang it? Don't know about who though...
...It was definitely Brian, if anyone has a right to sing that song, it is him...although he has turned his life around in recent years- maybe there's hope for all of us.
Aye, it's a Brian Wilson song, one of the precursors to Smile... and it was Keith Moon's favourite song. And one of mine. I am so sad about the loss of Smile - the stuff that's around now is just a pale reflection of what might have been (don't believe me? Go listen to God Only Knows/Good Vibrations/Heroes and Villains on a loop, hear the harmonious, have your soul touch by genius that flipped into madness...)
what happened to Brian Wilson and what was smile?
He locked himself away having lost all his self confidence
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1748328
There is a film, "Beautiful Dreamer" all about it,
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0421696/
But 'Smile' is published and available now. (I paid much more than that for it ...) It is a masterpiece.
He has been performing it 'live' with Darian Sahanaja and The Wondermints and I was lucky enough to go last year. I say 'live' but he is a shadow of his former self, and I wondered what percentage of him was actually there on the stage.
You got me started - I'm a huge Beach Boys fan :)
oh, and I believe it was about his wife ...
Your writing is good Trin. Why do your think you get all those hits? Why do these lot above keep looking in here? You can write that you puked up and somehow make your life interesting to real people. If I had written something about puking up I would probably have had it establishing a portal to hell or some such crap. Depoends on taste, some like escapist nonsense, far more like well written reality they can relate to. You have a human touch I don't really have.
maybe that's because Dark Lords are not human...
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