Sunday, April 29, 2007


I'm all excited, next Tuesday we're going away for three nights to Dilly Dally again, our very special naturist place.... just me and Steve. Can't wait. Hope the sun shines, it can get a bit nippy ;)

kizzy is home!

How bad am I? Life seems so busy ATM. Last week was so stressful and work is vile. I hate it with a passion. But very good news was Kizzy came back. I'd given her up for dead so when she waltzed in whilst I was ironing, I burst into tears. She was so hungry and looked thin. Now she refuses to leave the house. Wonder what happened?
We went to see Marie's lovely new house last night. Very nice. We had the grand tour and Danz stayed the night.... but it was to be a little traumatic. Sam my little DJ fell awkwardly on the trampoline and fractured his elbow. Danz said he was so brave, hardly cried but it was v nasty and he's in hospital tonight with pins and stuff. I felt so upset all day for Marie. Such a nasty shock. We took Hollie to the train station with us. I think she really liked it, behind that counter with all those rough men lol..... OK Marie I did look after her! This week we bought wood flowers on stands with numbers on. If they ordered food and sat outside they had to take a numbered flower.... they really fought over who was having the pink ones....
Wulf's mother has calmed down, she has a 'word' with Steve to say that she is SURE my motive is to control both Steve and Wulf. But apparently she's 'delighted' that we're taking him on holidays. Hmmm, me thinks control is her other middle name.
Work is still very wrong but I've stopped crying before I have to go in now... a step forward. I also sorted out a tiny baby last week that previously would have been dealt with by doctors. Now it's my job.... I'd been worrying I wasn't up to it, but I was fine, confident good, got blood first time, results back normal and a huge confidence boost. If only 99% of the time wasn't so bloody boring.
I am a bad blogger aren't I? Steve always finds time for his 17 sites... yes 17! But as my mate said the other week, he likes me having a busy full life now. Too full to blog all the time.
Get well soon Sam.... we all loves you xxx

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

pontins 2007

Well Saturday and the one year milestone passed. So he got me these lovely flowers on an impulse from Burnham on Sea and we went out for lunch in the Somerset and Dorset Pub.
A pretty full year really. And the next one will be even more hectic and full.... life is good.

Wulf and the girls on a big fairground ride. He seems to have grown up so much this weekend.

The girls on the cat and mouse. Danz screamed the whole time. She's like me.. I hate the rides.

The water ride. They all got soaked. Shannie had white on and she was dripping wet. It was a really chilled weekend... really nice sunny and happy.
In complete contrast to the return home with Wulf's so called mother still seething that we dared to take him out of school for a day... of course he'll be on benefits for the rest of his life now! (Even though she knew we were away and the school were fine with it)
She was so nasty to him... yes HIM, when he got back. He called me sobbing to come collect him away from her and it was really hard for me not to drop everything and get him. But it would have made it worse at the time. The girls were distraught at the thought of him so upset.
Ha, I rang her this morning and left a message on her phone. I told her if anything like that happened again I'd be seeing a solicitor and I couldn't believe how mean she was... but there again she was the one who'd walked out on her 6 year old blind son so probably mean was her middle name. Touche.
She's met her match in me. She'd better watch it.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Future profession? Marie's youngest shows what he's made of. He told Paul that his last birthday party was OK.... but not as good as this.... lol

wulf's party

Abby Danz, Hollie Marie and Shannie dancing on the patio.......


Kizzy's gone missing. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed with panic, she's a cat. But I loves my Kizzy. Little scardy thing. Trouble is there's blood on Abby's bed and blood on the chair down here. Something's happened. We've walked around looking for her. Called her all the time but no sign.
Abby's not coming to Pontins with us this weekend, so at least someone's here all the time.
Guess what Wulf's mother brought him for his THIRTEENTH birthday?
A ball pool. Sized for a 2 year old. The woman is weird. Lives on cloud cuckoo land. I'm waiting for the nuclear fall out from us taking him out of school Monday. She'll go mad. Silly cow.
See the news today? A student nurse wailing because she was left alone to care for a sick patient because her trained nurse colleague fainted.
I hope pathetic Nicola Chambers is never employed. When I trained we ran the wards. We never bleated or moaned. Frankly that's not the sort of person you want nursing you. Not the kind of colleague you want in your team... run to the newspapers when something goes awry. Plus she looked as chav as they come.
I'm worried about Kiz...........

Monday, April 16, 2007

low down

How I hate outpatients. I've got today and tomorrow off then I'm in for three days and I'm already laying awake in the night fretting about it.
I went out Thursday night with the ex girls from work to a harbour side pub in Bristol. It was so nice to see them all again but opened up the wound of hurt that I missed them all so much. I could sit and cry really. Steve says I've been a bit snappy and sad lately. I hadn't realised how much had spilt over to home.
Maybe the best way to deal with it is with humour because really they are all quite pathetic. If thy think that in any way or form THAT is nursing? And to get into such a tizz over it... well it's really stupid. I did meet one really nice and friendly health care assistant last week that actually took the time to ask about me, wanted to get to know me and was laughing and happy. BUT the big problem is that it seems I took her job. She used to do the kids clinics on a Wednesday, now she has to move departments or move days. Made me feel a bit sad and a bit unwanted.
Seems the real Trin can't shine through yet...and will she ever?
Friday I spent doing Outpatients at Frenchay. I'd been warned by the other lot that it was pokey, old fashioned and the staff were a bit edgy. I was worried.... could it be any worse than my usual hospital?
Actually I liked it. I was left in charge, It was light and airy and the staff were all really kind and left me alone, but helpful when I needed some stuff to take blood. Think I'll like it there, wish I was there more really.
It was Wulf's birthday party yesterday at the coach in the train station. It was hard work but fun. His mother was there...... strange woman with her 20 year older than her husband (who was quite pleasant) It was odd serving food to them.
I think I need a holiday. Somewhere right away from all of this. Problem with holidays is you have to come back eventually. Do I sound a bit low?

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Bloody People

We've had rather a hectic weekend what with a trip to Littlehampton to wish future dad in law a Happy Birthday and two full on days at the catering coach making dinners and snacks for the bored Easter day trippers. Plus it was hot and I was tired. It was ok though, we pulled in about £350 for the two days and the customers seemed happy. The patio was lush with all the tables and parasols out. We sold loads of ice cream on Sunday and loads of Jacket pots on Monday... weird.
I was awoken quite early Tuesday morning by a knock at the door. I wandered down in Steve's dressing gown. It was this officious looking woman from the council.... ooops did I pay the rent? OK, she was on about the rubbish outside the house. All two carrier bags full of cardboard neatly squashed waiting the next collection.
I started a rant about how disgusting the 2 week collection was and how the bin was full and they didn't collect for another week. We'd already made a trip to the tip this week.... using petrol and damaging the environment in the process. The tip was full of cars and people tipping ordinary household rubbish. Ridiculous.
She started a condescending rant on how we didn't recycle properly and how we shouldn't put meat in the food bins as it encouraged flies. Suddenly Steve appeared behind me and sent her packing with his "This is a vegetarian family and I used to be a green councillor"
Cheeky bitch. This is Hartcliffe, if she knocks on the wrong house complaining there's rubbish in their front garden she'll probably be murdered.
Then we had to return once again to the bloody train station as the boiler packed up and we had a plumber coming... seems the whole thing was put in incorrectly in the first place and the whole thing needs replacing. Everything was OK until a worker arrived and was talking to Steve. Some thing got said about prices and he started this aggressive rant towards me about the disgraceful price of tea in the coach. How I was extorting money from the workers charging the prices I did. How it was obvious I didn't care and how he wasn't going to eat in there again.... so guys how much do you think a mug of hot quality tea is in the first class catering coach?
Any guesses.... from his reaction?
Nope you're wrong the price is 45p. Or 9 shillings as he put it.
45 pence? He needs locking up and I need my head read.
45 pence? This isn't the 21st century you know
A few people had afternoon tea at the Mad Hatter's house. For some strange reason he was charging everybody; three pence for a cup of tea and five pence for a piece of cake. Everyone ate and drank the same.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

new girl

Monday 6.30 I was up and busy. The first day in the new job. Didn't want to do my usual thing of being late. I was nervous, kind of. I was sad that the ward was finally closed. After threatening to do it for more than 15 years.. they did it!
On the way I was swept with this nausea. Stupid really. I wasn't THAT worried.. was I?
I arrived at 7.50. Parked and hurried up the hill. I got there dead on 8. To my dismay the place was all locked up. A doctor arrived and struggled with the lock and opened it. He wished me luck on my first day. I got in 5 minutes late. The unit manager was there. I saw her look at the clock. I knew I was 5 Min's late but the bloody door was locked.
As the morning went on I realised that the reason she looked at the clock was not that I was late but 1/2 hour early. Hopeless! I was meant to start at 8.30 am. Got confused.

I started unpacking all the stuff we'd brought with us. Toys, equipment, machinery.
My friend Mabel, who'd got the job with me arrived. She was nervous. She was worse than me. Least I'd done outpatients before.
The morning dragged. It was quiet. We sorted out toys and books and saw a few patients but it was a long morning. There were no breaks... no paid ones at all. Very odd. I got sent to dinner at 12.30 with a gaggle of health care assistants who frankly didn't have a decent conversation in them. They had the TV on watch Englebert Humperdink for 10 minutes then the awful Loose Woman lunchtime show.
They chatted about inane stuff like washing and gardens and flying with liquids in your hand luggage.
The afternoon was worse.. far worse. Quiet and so long. I was tired. Up too Early, too stressed and post emotional.
5.15 and it was all done, cleared up and sorted. We wandered round for 15 minutes asking others if they wanted a hand. Nope, no one was busy.
So we went to ask the nurse in charge if we could go.
Now I finished at 6 but bear in mind I'd started work at 8, I reckoned I'd done my hours.
The nurse in charge (who I since find is the same grade as me) was at in an office on the PC playing solitaire.
We told her we'd finished. She asked if everything was done to wish the other nurse who normally works there said yes and got a mouthful because she'd meant the whole of outpatients not just our section.
I was appalled. It was being back at school and asking to use the toilet or something.
I told her I had come in 1/2 hour early so technically had done my hours. She said that was my fault. That I'd done 1/2 hour work in my own time so tough.
I was cross. How long was it since that bitch had done a first day anywhere. I was tired, information overload. I'd done a 9 and 1/2 hour shift and was only used to doing 6 maximum.
We did go home, but without any grace or smiles or pleasant goodbye, hope your first day was good. Nothing like my style of management or personality at all.
Mabel was so upset going back to the cars. She hated it. It was the worst thing she'd ever done. Sad really because it would have only taken a bit of niceness to have made it better.
I went shopping. Got stuff for fajitas because I needed a treat. Spent the evening just worrying about the next day.
Tuesday was better but only because we were sent to the old paeds wards to see if there was anything left we could swipe for the unit. There was a bring and buy sell on.... sort of. A free for all for the hospital. People coming and labelling up equipment and furniture to take away. Some sister from some outlying ward had nabbed nearly everything and was rude in the process. It was so sad. My ward that I'd been on for 20 years or more just ripped apart with vultures arguing over the pickings. My ex manager (Lucy) was there alone. She looked pale and tired. She had the clear the entire place on her own. I was appalled.
We got back and I mentioned to my new manager that I was upset Lucy was being forced to do everything on her own. She said we could go over for the whole afternoon and help her.
At lunchtime Staff Nurse Hitler came round to tell us to go to dinner (yep we are told when to go) I told her we were going to the ward after dinner to help Lucy. She was no pleased. "We'll see about that" She grunted.
Then I discovered that her and the manager actually dislike each other and there's friction all the time. Can I work like that?
We did go over. We worked really hard. Lucy was pleased to see us. I hope we helped her a bit. The day went fast and I got home 1/2 hour early without any trauma.
Now I got 7 days off and I need them. Steve is here all week too. We're going to Littlehampton Friday and the train station most of the weekend.
Not sure I'll like this job at all. I'll have to think of some strategy to deal with SN Hitler. I am not fresh and 21 and inexperienced. I'm used to being autonomous and in charge.
Watch this space.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Patio Party

How many S&D workers can you get around the new tables... well 8 at a push if they aren't arguing about whose touching whose leg!
Another busy coach day. It was OK though, we got new parasols and waiting for the gazebo to arrive. Makes a change from laying track and moving train things around.

And we got new glasses for hot chocolate and Latte and Mocha Coffee. Steve must have had 4!

Heavy concentration on the arduous task ahead of drinking the hot chocolate.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

weekend end

Well I got the job. Weird really, I knew I'd get it. But I only wanted it because it was the best option out of those available. Really I didn't want to change at all. I've worked a long time in that place and worked hard into building up into something really special. But no point raking over old bitterness. Friday came, my last day and then it was over. No tears or emotion. Just a desire to get the fuck out of there and be done with it. I was tired, but I recognised it was an emotional tiredness.
It hasn't helped a lot that my colleague who got the job with me was having many second thoughts at the massive impact of a job without the support of all the others. TBH I will miss the rest. They've been my friends for decades but I'd been thinking for ages that I really should move on. Was never sure who'd take me with my tainted history... but this has happened... so be it.
But I'm dreading it. The stress of a first day somewhere.... yeuk.
I got to work a long day Monday and Tuesday then I'm off for a week. Can't bloody wait.
Anyways this is Danz, Tom and Shannie cleaning Steve's filthy car. They're all in the schools Bugsy Malone production. Singing car cleaners. BTW They charged us lol