R.E

Isn't religion fascinating? All over the world all sorts of people worship some non being. Some entity that someone else has written about and passed down through the ages.
I find it all super entertaining. When I was a kid (not so long ago) I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to be a RE teacher. I thought they were frankly weird. (Or weirdly Frank)
Are they some half hearted attempt at being a priest? I also found religious Education tedious. I never listened and never learnt.
A big part of my childhood entertainment revolved around church events though. The social side of the church and Girl Guides which always incorporates religion, although I NEVER got to carry that damn flag at church parade. That was down to the popular girls.
I still didn't get just why those people all sang hymns and prayed and ate the bread and drank the wine (ok I got the wine bit)
I got sent on a residential weekend once with Junior church which scared the shit out of me more than tosser Derek Acorah ever could.
The weekend seemed to settle on talking about how Christianity was open to corruption and how the devil was always watching and waiting to get cha!
We prayed that God would protect our young minds and that the Devil would never gain hold of our hearts and will.
That and a combination of Dennis Wheatley books and I had nightmares for a year and didn't step back into church for ages.
Trouble is, the religious teacher has to maintain a certain amount of reservation in these matters. It's no good if he is tantamount to a cult leader.
OK, I understand that Christianity is a good way to guide your lives by. Though, if you do have the aptitude to be a Natural Born Killer, then you possibly aren't a good candidate for The God Squad anyways.

You also aren't going to be A Good Samaritan, if your life is shit and no-one ever does anything for you. In my experience, Churches aren't the best places to find your salt of the earth types anyways.
How about the little old ladies that demanded my Rainbows take off their Easter bonnets on Good Friday. How to explain to 5 year olds that the Easter hats they made were offensive to the old ones?
Christians are very selfish. THEY are going to heaven. Fuck the rest of you. But God will always forgive. You can murder and rape but repent and you are saved?
Hmmm.
I love the bible. There's so many really good stories in there. Stories that are interpreted in so many ways.... Often to suit the religious needs.
Why do you have to be religious to be good?
I'm good. If I hunted really hard I could find a hysterically funny photo of me being Confirmed. God's Bride. White dress and white veil. Pure for Jesus.
Well I would have been pure if I hadn't done Kevin Skidmore in the church ladies toilets.
Maybe I should have tried harder to be purer?
My religious feelings breach the barriers towards all religions. I listen incredulously that people actually believe that suicide bombers will go to a better place and have 100 virgins to satisfy them.
But that's also an extreme faction of the religion.
Have you seen M Night Shyamalan's The Village?
I went because I thought it was a horror movie. It wasn't. It was a thought provoker?
People are people. People are fallible and flawed.
I wonder if people REALLY do need to be taught the values of life, giving, hope, love and vision.
Probably.
And suddenly I see the light. Vive la RE Teacher.