Confused and let down.. yep the usual

A bit worked up this morning. I knew I had to go back to that awful psychiatric place today for the infamous psycho-therapy.
It's just the awful thing about having to talk to 'yet' another person about stuff that's happened and possibly being upset.
But I was good, I went. I was calm and collected and fairly positive.
The psychologist was nice, young, professional and seemed very experienced.
She asked me some questions and most of the hour was based on the feeling that I was very let down by the services on offer. My GP had written and it appears his letter had struck a chord, they were concerned about me.
I did get upset a few times, particularly talking about the events of Tuesday gone and about how upset Dr Ali made me feel at the last meeting.
But it was ok and I was quite controlled and together, which was why I was so shocked at the end.
She told me that psychotherapy wasn't for me. That I was too 'fragile' too 'vulnerable' too 'emotional' That psychotherapy tended to be robust and focused and centred on one event. Working on something that has happened.
She said I wasn't ready.
Then she said something very confusing. She said something about me having counseling maybe. I'd had counseling before but was unable to move on after it... She then said she knew of another psychotherapist but it was expensive... I told her about the one the gp had offered me for a fiver a session and she told me to grab it with both hands. Sounded perfect.
So.... Can I get this straight. I was too fragile for NHS psychotherapy but if it was private... Go for it?
Is it me or does anyone else think that it's cop out. No resources available so direct elsewhere.
I left the room and I felt a failure.
FFS guys, I'm not even good enough for NHS Psychotherapy. I felt like shit and it was only the thought of some retail therapy that stopped me crying.
You have no idea how totally crap and totally weighed down I felt as I crossed the little bridge to the car.
Resigned to always being let down by them.
Maybe it isn't the thing for me, though I do actually think it is. I need to talk... FFS isn't that the reason for the blog.
And I really do have only a very few friends that I can talk to.. And bless them, they aren't always available.
Anyways.. Dylan called me to say I'm lovely and nuts and that he has to tell himself everytime he picks me up to go out, that he mustn't fall for me"
Yeah right Dyl but thanks anyways. You won't know it but it was a perfectly timed phone call to stop my self pity running away with me.
Then my newest and most nuts friend text me that he was on a train, blue-toothing and had shagged three women in the BR toilets and had 2 men in the buffet car.
Hmph, no man worth anything hangs out in the buffet car, even with the new all day breakfast bap.
I'm also afraid that unless you have a Motorola Razor phone that no self respecting man would go near you.
Image is everything.
Vive la Bap.