31st October

I've had quite a hectic day and I don't know why. I'm not going to DIY for cretins tonight so I do apologise if you like your weekly update, but the girls didn't want me to go. Instead we invited Dylan to come see the Corpse Bride with us.
I've spent the afternoon playing with my new phone!
A Motorola thing on Orange. I was sooo unhappy with Vodafones customer service.
Plus I fancy Orange Wednesdays at the cinema.
Plus their deals are better. I topped up with £15 credit and got 3000 evenings and weekend texts free. I think. Actually not sure what he said now.
Plus I have a new number. That'll stop people like stalker contacting me.
So if you get a text from some unknown person...It's me.
I text my first person today and wanted to be text back to see if it worked...Sighh.
WTF I give up.
Anyways, Happy Halloween all of you.
Loves you all.

Happy Halloween

Bailey loves Halloween, all those glittery hangy things to rip down.

insert cliffy song.... da dada dada "Congradulations"...

Congradulations to our friend Edna whose wearing the ring.
The wedding's the best bit. Just make sure you train him well first..... ;p

the great Illiterate

The weirdos who come here to see.
I got this referral
I WANT TO SEE A LOIN FUCK A WOMEN FOR FREE

I assume the person in question means Lion and not a loin. I also doubt that even the Interweb would provide that kind of graphic imagery..... for free!
Also women is the plural for woman.. 'A women' is not correct grammar. Damn it, do they let ANYONE use the internet these days?
Idiot.

(Jeez better cut the sex crap.... bad Trin)

my tech specs

I had an email today from someone who thinks he has diagnosed me. He reckons I have a 'Subsonic Frequency Personality*'
An interesting diagnosis that seems to be made especially for me. I am charmed by your concern and attention but fear that as I have no super-woofers about my body, you may have missed the mark.
You Loony.
Try googling for those words*..
I got this

"SC technology for active filtering of subsonic frequencies (Vento AS 800 DC);
DC technology for ... Each subwoofer had a slightly different personality. ..."

Each Subwoofer has a slightly different personality?
Jeez it gets worse.
Now my CD player has a split personality too. Will the torture never end?
(Technical people are weirder than weird)

Gosh please pimp my vehicle dear Sir

I've been watching the UK version of the hugely popular 'Pimp My Ride' and frankly it's made me cringe.
Translating American shows into Plain good loving English is often strange ... For example. Transfer the 'Baby Story' from the American parents.....
"He is the apple of our eyes, he makes our world complete. We are now a real family"
To the English reserved version ......
"Yes he's a nice little chap. Keeps me awake all night but oh well"
At least the English parents are pretending to be Americans. The Pimp My Ride lot are trying too hard to be like their American Counterparts.
From the ghetto hand gestures, to the txt spk, to the obviously awkward body movements rather like Gary Numan doing his dancey bit to 'Cars'
But someone tell me WTF is Tim Westwood up to? He reminds me of a rather embarrassing Ricky Gervais in an episode of 'The Garage'. Xzibit he is not.
Then there's the recipients of the new cars.
The Americans jump around screaming, weeping and thanking God.
The English ones, are more interesting in the sound system that doesn't just have BBC local Radio on it.... And we don't have to listen to that weird Tim Westwood any more. Cool.

Sorry Batman... have your cape back

It turns out that the Devil isn't Beelzebub after all but rather, one of those fallen Angels from a 20th Century Fox film. One of those, where he has to chose between self pleasure and discovery and having to wear fluffy wings and helping old ladies cross the street.
Usually played by John Travolta in one of his roles that he'd never get an Oscar for... One of those he'd rather forget.
It turns out there isn't a Devil at all. Just a mish mash of rather strange and complex people trying to live together in this big melting pot of a world.

Yes Xoggoth I am just placing commas where I feel like it.
I did take 'A' level English BUT I'm a rebel and I refuse to be bound and gagged within the constraints of the English Language. (or handcuffed... Did I mention handcuffs?)
Mind, don't get me started on the Americanisation of English.
The laziness that removes the U's and replaces the soft subtle S with a Z... And calls it a Zee instead of the much final and proud Zed.
As someone quite rightly observed this week, I am up and down constantly just in one single day. High and happy, music on dancing and singing (yes I can song Dylan)
To being under the bedcovers sobbing and hoping the Dementors will come take me to Azkaban, so I may live out my days in the misery I so deserve (and demand)
All this up and down business does tend to wear one out. I also get quite upset about things, then can't remember what I was upset about in the first place.
Damn, it's like being 18 months again.
But I'm easily manipulated. A finger of Fudge (is just enough to give your kids a treat) or a quick suck on my dormal (I swear my parents filled it with Babysham)
And I'm sweet again.
Confused? Imagine living with this useless brain.

waiting and waiting..............

That bloody cat flap! Bailey is gradually bringing in a dead bird.. Bit by bit. Driving me mad. Last night I had a whole wing Complete with blood. I picked it up and went to put it in the bin. But it was tipping down, so I just chucked it over the fence.
Back in I went, turned around and the little git had gone round the front picked it up again and returned it through the cat flap.
The girls are home. Danielle has been ill all weekend and this morning she finally submitted and asked to come back. She looks dreadful, she's pale with a high temperature and a raging earache. My Mother said I was to take her to the walk in centre.
I hate those places, being staffed by sodding nurses who know little more than I do but I wanted someone to look in her ear.
So over we went.
The walk in centre in plumb bang in the middle of the biggest council estate in Bristol.
It's the place to be seen on a Sunday afternoon. Got nothing to do? Always wondered what that spot was on your neck, you've had for three years?
Lets go to the walk in centre.
All the kids (boy and girls) had earrings even the tiny babies, hoops.
There appeared to be nothing wrong with anyone I could see.
Yet the nurses were taking 1/2 per patient and it was FULL to the brim with people. I did my best. I waited 90 minutes. Then the straw that broke me was a woman who arrived 1/2 hour after me, a well looking ambulant woman was called in.
I am not patient. I can manage so much, but I began to get agitated and cross. So we left.
Crap mother? Yes, hands up. I am rubbish. But I'm not best happy today and I can't concentrate.
I should have jumped the system and just took her in to work, and if she gets worse I'll do that.
But my kid IS unwell and I deem that making a child with a temperature, in pain and feeling dizzy and faint wait 90 minutes is bad practice.

evil......

Do you ever feel you are one of life's little cruel experiments?
Ah yes, we need to torture a woman in the Bristol region, cause her untold misery and never let her be happy.
See what happens.
Let's see if she can undo the lock, find her way through the maze, sort out the bad people from the good, throw in a few decoys on the way. Make her trust people so implicitly, a deep soul baring trust.Then let's have them turn out really to be The Devil.
How long till she susses it and then how will she cope?
I think I should avoid human contact. My psychiatrist says that I'm barely there ATM and he doesn't want me to be hurt. I need to be built up a bit more before I can face the harsh realities of the REAL world.
So here I sit. Trying to make sense of it all. And rather like a Rubiks cube, that I was never any good at, every time I get one block in the right place it puts a whole line of them out.
I used to say that, in the great Chocolate Box of life, I was the Orange Creme that nobody wanted. It was tongue in cheek. Light hearted and said to make people laugh.
But really, I'm the toffee square that no one dares to bite for fear of never being able to get the stuff off your teeth again.
Decay....

sweeties.... nooo bibles!

Trick-or-treaters get prayer

One American family is so upset with the heathen Halloween tradition that they are giving out small bibles to trick or treaters who go knocking at their door.
I wouldn't try that round here, I'd get the bloody thing through the front window attached to a brick.
Ps.. the cat flap is now shut... not locked. If they're intelligent enough they can get through. But fecking Bailey just brought me my first gift through the hole. A huge dead bird. I should be grateful it wasn't a live frog. She ran in and placed it right by my chair with a little meow.
I'm a bit drunk, started on the Vodka I found in the freezer an hour ago. I think I did well today. I am really bored now though. A bit pissed off at something.
Feck I never seem to learn from my experiences.

fall back....

British Summer Time

"The summer sun is fading as the year grows old
And darker days are drawing near".
Justin Hayward.

The clocks go back tonight. Darker nights draw in and suddenly it seems to get cold.
There's a sense of excitment about this time though. It means Christmas is coming!
The child in me can feel it coming. I'll go back and read this on Christmas Eve when I'm depressed because I'm spending it alone again... sometimes I am such a silly bitch.
I used to do a lot of night duty. It fitted in with the kids better.
Long term nights make a person so crotchety though, the overwhelming tiredness and never having decent sleep. I was a bitch to live with... but the money was ok.
I used to work with a nurse called Madge.
I couldn't bear the girl. She was a flapper, she made a drama out of anything. She was flighty and whacky and so disorganised.
She was the type of nurse who'll give you a bed bath at 2am. Couldn't sit still.
She wasn't married and had never had a boyfriend. We reckoned she was a virgin... but not so sure now. I reckon even she could get a shag.. apparently from a turkish waiter once.
Well, every single year she got the clocks going back or forward wrong. It was a standing joke but she honestly didn't grasp the concept.
One year in the spring she thought the clocks went back so turned up for work 2 hours early.
Or she'd forget completely and arrive an hour late or early throwing us into chaos.
Mind one night she she didn't turn up for night duty. We called her, and she'd overslept. She finally arrived at 11pm, 2 hours late. Easily done?
We all oversleep?
Hardly. It was her FIRST night.
Hopeless.

I hate it when I get an accidental call. Someone just called me from a mobile phone. Their phone had obv. dialled this number by accident.
But it blocked the landline for a while, I kept yelling 'Hello' but all I could hear was the radio. Bad radio. Whoever it was should be embarrassed, I think it was local radio. A commercial station. Amanda Bloody Holden was saying something, then the local road news and Tube station delays so must have been some London area. The Piccadilly line is having some dreadful delays I'm aghast to hear.
I finally got rid of it but didn't recognise the number.
I wish I'd gone into the Private detective trade. I'd have liked to have had a go at that. All that skulking round corners and taking photos of secret meetings.
Looking through windows and wearing black.
Collette called me. She said I was a bad bitch! She told me to plan something for today, go visit someone or something.
But I never. She said I never listen to her or to Batman and I'm to tell the world I'm a very bad bitch.
I think she's very mean to me and need sympathy and presents.
Did you know she broke my bingo?
Dylan rang Friday. Hoped I'd have a nice weekend... Yeah right I said. (Hoping to illicit a lot of sympathy)
He suggested I got to one of these Music Bop things I seem to I like.
'You mean a Gig?' I said through gritted teeth
Who the fuck says the word 'Bop' anymore unless your 85 and have no teeth?
Next time I see him I'm going to pull at his teeth and see if they come out.

Chav Barbie

Brought to you by Indian News for some reason only Trin Knows

Girls Aloud and Mattel have launched their new range that they hope will propel Barbie from the all American Airhead to the British Chavhead pop star. The Girls Aloud rang include boots, short skirts and their very own ladies toilets model so Cheryl can feel free to thump toilet attendants without fear of incrimination.
Retailing at an alleged 7.99 (cheap is their middle name) and will be in the shops for you very own dirty old man's stocking on Dec 1st.
I better get my order in.

How Dodgy are you!

theSite - dodgy

Trin's Score

Dodgy
Alright geezer! Fancy yourself as a bit tasty? It may be against the law, but what they don't know won't hurt 'em eh? We know your heart's in the right place,... but watch out or that place may be a 3 to 5 stretch in Pentonville with 'Mad' Frank, Harry the Horse and 'Wristy' Rich Richardson.

Based on your answers, we have calculated the maximum penalty for your crimes*:

Years in prison: 42 Potential fine: 7000 quid

*Please note this is just a fun quiz so don't be alarmed by your score! The maximum penalty has been taken for each crime and no consideration for scale of crime committed.

Oh Dear! I'm like mad Frank... never!

I was feeling a bit miserable earlier but won't harp on about it because a certain pair of masked avengers will nag me for being self absorbed (M and S...Batman and Robinette).
So I went swimming, in the local Chav swimming baths.
The local pool is old.. Really old. Nearly as old as Xoggoth but not quite.
I did 10 lengths. I wasn't even tired but my shoulder was hurting. I need to go more often. It cost 3 quid though, if I go three times a week I'll need to take out a bank loan.
When I got out I went to look for the showers. Been spoilt by the gym.
The shower was single one at the entrance to the pool, in full view of the swimmers.
I stood there with water cascading over my nubile body.
(choke)
I saw people watching. I bet the old codgers there only go to stare at the women in the shower.
I feel ok though, I always find exercise, any form of exercise pumps up me endorphins and makes me feel gooood.
Derek Acorah is talking such utter crap that I'm beginning to feel the need to shoot him. I wonder if he'd like that death?

Lazy stupid doggy

Derek has a dog on Most Haunted called Max. Max only barks if there's an evil spirit near Derek.
Max has been barking before the adverts (he probably knew the fecking Shelia's wheels ad was going to be on).
Lots of people have phoned in during the break to say their dogs were barking like crazy. Their dogs are convinced Derek is in extreme danger.
I am very disappointed. I have my very own fat dog here tonight.
Lucy.
Lucy has shown not a second of interest in alerting Derek to the Astral dangers.
She's a total waste of space.

Bloody hell for Halloween

Derek Acorah is on LIVE TV. He's in the city that's STEEPED with history and ghostly presence.. London.
He's on Tower bridge with Yvette. Apparently this is being broadcast world wide. Fuck! The rest of the world must think we are loopy.
Derek has had a fright. The lift door opened with no-one pressing the button.
(my local zebra crossing goes red without anyone pushing the button. I am now thinking it's haunted)
He said the ghosty wobbles made the lift open. There's three spirits there, all wearing drab uniform.
Derek thinks that in his time one Ghost would have been a person who lost his life (No way Del). He said the other two are visiting him.
I am fascinated.
I never realised that ghosts needed to use the lifts and feel that when I'm on the 12th floor of the NCP car park and the lift takes 45 minutes to reach me, that it's probably being used by spirits. This pisses me off greatly. They don't have to pay the extortionate NCP rates and as such should be banned from using the lifts.
Secondly, I am very excited to learn that ghosts visit each other and wonder what they do together? I Can't WAIT to die to find out.
Derek says he feels that the third ghost hates the essence of the first ghost. The first ghost wasn't happy about the way he died. That may have knocked his essence slightly and I feel ghost number three is probably being a little unkind.
Naturally there are ways to die that make us happier than others. After I die I would like a good essence and to be happy that the way I died was just beautiful.

number one

UK number 1

What was number one when you were born..... Mine was The Spice Girls "If you wanna be my Lover"

What? I don't tell lies

(Thanks to J for the link)

watching waiting wondering

Bailey has been using the cat flap as some kind of outpost..... "Take cover those blasted Injuns are coming"
She sits there just staring out into the great Abyss... Waiting.. Just waiting and wondering if that great fat bum of hers will ever get through that tiny hole?
Who ate all the pies Bailey?

nice kind mummy

I was up half the night with Danielle. She woke me up at 1 am crying. She wasn't well, her head hurt, she was worried about the weekend. She wanted to go, why was she always ill before anything exciting?
I think the kid has over done it. She went to the Eden Project Wednesday and out with Shelter all day yesterday from 8-6.30.
I took her downstairs and tried to get her to take a Nurofen Tablet.
FFS you'd think I was getting her to swallow a lump of coal.
It's a fecking enteric coated easy to swallow small round thing. But she cannot swallow them and I ended up losing my temper with her, which made her worse.
If you can eat steak and solid food stuff you can take tablets.
The inner nurse, gentle, kind, patient person came out and I told her take the tablet or not go away with Nanny.
She managed one, then I felt mean and let her sleep with me the rest of the night.
She seems better this morning and I'm going into work an hour late.
Work must despair of ever getting me there... All week or for a whole shift.
Oh well, not as if they don't owe me hundreds of hours from days gone by.
In the Human Resource world you can't just piss off on time every day.
Especially now the car park is locked until 8pm... Bastards

sulk

I'm not feeling very up tonight and I don't like it. Someone make me UP quickly!!
The girls spotted the huge sink full of dishes and have legged it up the stairs.
They're packing for tomorrow, the Halloween weekend with Nanny and Granddad.
Halloween in Torquay. Danz is rather excited. She upstairs packing her case. My mum asked me to check her case this time. She's fed up of her going away with one pair of knickers and odd shoes I think.
Abby is a bit more restrained. My parents showed her the video that came with the booking confirmation. Fun and Frolics at the Derwent.

I think it was pensioner week and there were several of the oldest people I have ever seen on it. Playing bowls, ballroom dancing, having a nice sherry in the lounge and worst of all... Attempting line dancing.
Torquay is geriatric Central. The English Riviera on Viagra. The hotel rooms come with free life support and commodes... Room to park your Zimmer frame, with the go faster stripes outside, and the finest stair lifts you can get.
OK you get the message, it was old.
But it's Halloween so there may be a lot of old people in masks? Oh well, they like going away.
I don't like them going away though.
I'm starting the sulk mode already.
I used to be the champion sulker as a kid. I could sulk for weeks. I left home once. Packed my bags, lugged them all down stairs. Said goodbye to everyone for ever. Slammed the door and walked to the bus stop, still sulking.
And no one came after me. I came home 20 minutes later and sat in the corner of the room (sulking) until I got hungry and couldn't remember why on earth I was sulking in the first place.
Anyways I'm left home with my mothers old dog Lucy.
Lucy hates me with a capital H. She hates this house, she hates my cats and she hates being away from her mummy.
I hate Lucy. She smells and she looks all doggy... ewww.
Last time I had her, I picked her up from my mum's but by the time I got home I forgot she was in the car. Went indoors, did some housework watched TV and then my neighbour knocked and said the dog wasn't looking too happy in the car.
Then when she's in here, she lies by the front door all the time. Her ears pricked up in case her owner comes home and she can hear the car noise first.
Mind it is fun seeing Bailey torment the hell out of her, bite her tail and attack her.
Well, she has to have someone to play with.....
And that dog will do ANYTHING for a biscuit.
She also has fits, and me mother just rang with tablet instructions. FFS you'd think it was a kid the way she bloody fusses.
No one used to fuss over me, not even when I left home. Hmph.
Anyways I think I'll spend the weekend composing my car park letter. I might take it to the European Court of justice.
Failing that The Evening Post will have to do.

Thursdeee

My Big Boss was in today.
On to the unit she comes, all dressed in big manager clothes and nice shoes. She enquired if everything was fine.I reassured her that everything was ship shape and organised. There was a silence and someone asked if she could take me away with her, as I was 100 times bossier than she ever was (she used to be our ward sister)
Bloody cheek, If I was allowed a whip I'd get far more work out of the ingrates.
The nice doctor from Harley Street is still with us, We had a Suki Virgin in and an Elton. He said he'd met a kid called Clamidia. Plus Twins called Harley and Mercedes. When he has kids he's thinking of Peugeot and Renault.
He's funny. He can recite quotes from films and TV. Loads of them. He did the Harry Enfield sketch with the Slobs. "I want a brown baby, its not fair... All the mothers at school got one"
The car parking saga continues.
Last week Lucy got sent home early because she felt ill..... But when she rang car parking to open the gates they refused, after a lot of wrangling they said they'd come over and see exactly how ill she looked to them.
I am getting so much ammo for my book of the dead to present to the Trust.
The car parking team are like the Gestapo. It seems that you give a man a uniform (red and white, titter) and a set of keys to a padlock and suddenly the power goes to their heads.
They turn into a two headed jobs worth maniac.
They also don't appreciate being photographed for my project. And I am bad at annoying people like that. If they hit me or swear at me my manager will get them fired. So I don't care.
I'd like to get a picture of them waving a fist at me or something, that would be pretty special.
I'm home now, I stopped on the way to get cat food for those fat greedy furry things that live here.
It's half term, Symes Avenue was full of kids, all ages. There was a big gang outside Co-op playing 'Who can nick the biggest thing from the shop'
The security guard is a thin African without a lot of English. He does his best but they outwit him constantly.
They had classical music playing just outside the automatic doors and inside was a pickwick Spice Girl CD that had a distinct pinky and perky sound.
Maybe the classic sound was meant to drive away the great unwashed shop lifters?
The gang of kids pushed passed me as I carried the bags to the car.
Apparently Wayne got caught with a bag of spuds up 'is Jumper. This caused much giggling and made me want to be a kid again. Ah the fun of the council estate youth.

whateva

"Do you like Keane?" She asked, stuffing CD's into the player.
"Hmmm not really, heard a couple of their tracks and wasn't impressed"
"Oh" Changes her mind and puts on Queen's greatest hits instead. It starts playing...'Momma I just killed a man......'
"OH hang on you meant QUEEN?" He splutters "Of course I like QUEEN"
(Still can't believe he doesn't like Keane...)
"Of course I said QUEEN stupid.... And you said heard a couple of tracks and you were impressed.... Obviously not a great music lover then"
"No wait... I thought you said KEANE"
"Whatever"
;)

I believe in the Ipod Shuffle

praise be for Apple

I believe for every drop of rain that falls
A flower grows,
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night
A candle glows,
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way,
I believe, I believe.

What a fabulous way to pimp up your Ipod shuffle.
Essential for the church going shuffle user.
Ditch the dull sermon, listen to Incubus on the mp3.
If anyone looks, wave the cross, and pretend its some hearing device.
In my experience the old dears who attend church will be unable to tell the difference.
Ouwwww all mod cons in church today... yabber yabber.

The MossTril 5000

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

wonder who this is for?

I guess Slugs aren't wildlife?

Cat Flap Day!!

My nearly brother-in-law fitted the cat flap last night. At last, we have one. Freedom for the pussies!!
But the box didn't come with instructions for thick people so I couldn't work out how to use the damn thing.
So I phoned the helpline today and a nice person told me how to do it. Now I have a fully workable cat flap. Great Hallelujah....... ummm stop a second..

How do you get cats to use a cat flap? Particularly fat lazy cats who are used to crying and miraculously those dumb humans do everything you want them to do?
We tried shoving Bailey through the flap but she puffed up her huge bum and she wouldn't fit through.
So we taped up the flap and decided to get them used to using the hole for a start.
Success, Bailey came through it from the outside for a slice of best roast beef.
But thereth lies the problem. Fat Bailey is greedy. So she has cottoned on that using the cat flap means food.
She used it twice after and both times went hysterical for praise and treats.
Now she's exhausted and has to lie down for a while.

A Car Park Story

The sad little tale of the useless car park.
One day there was a very lovely girl called Trinity who worked very hard.
She used to park her chariot of fire in the staff car park every single day for a couple of decades.
Then one day, the powers that be decided to lock the car park between 13.30 and 20.00 hours. They deemed the car park was ONLY to be used by those lucky golden people that arrived before 13.30 and left after 20.00 hours. For some reason only known to themselves.

Yesterday she arrived at said place of employment at 15.30. She was on a LATE shift. She spotted a sign that said "Thus this Car Park was only to be used by such staff that were on A LATE SHIFT."

The gate had a big padlock on and even with Trin's superpowers she could not unlock the gate (even with the fucking car park pass that costs her a couple of hundred quid a year)

Said car park was half empty. She then drove round to the Car Park office and, left her car blocking most of the road, got out and entered the office. She demanded that they open the gate for her to enter. On meeting resistance from the staff who had implicit instructions from The God above only to open said gates between the allowed times, she very calmly (unusually) refused to leave the office until her wishes were met. Half an hour later they opened the gates for her, making sure they took her name rank and number first.

The back of the car park was a lonely site. One little car sat all alone with no friends to play with awwwwwwwwwwwww

At 19.30 hours the night staff arrived. A jolly bunch of workers with long sad faces. Why?
Those magic gates opened too late for them to park and they had to park in the deep wild woods, fretting all night that their cars were going to be vandalised or stolen by the Wood People.
Trin left her place of employ at 20.00 hours and a car park fairy had opened the gates.
She duly noted that there were plenty of spaces for her pals chariots and has decided to make a scrap book and present it to the Gods that be in due course.
Watch this space (get it space???)

Rick is bbbback

How dare Abby laugh at the Rick Astley advert. Ungrateful child. Does she not know the sacrifices that man made for music?
You're all getting Rick's new CD for Christmas... as campy Craig would say "End Of"

(Doesn't that man just make you want to ruffle up his hair?)

hang on a sec.....

Woah woah slow down here a little.
I'm getting some information that I'm finding a little hard to take in.
I saw the psychiatrist today. My word, what a lovely gentle but competent man.
We talked. I didn't dissolve into floods of bitter tears and I listened, there were times when I started to shut down but no! I was good. Trinity roolz ok.
At the end he talked to me. He'd read my notes. He said that I was bipolar type 2. That lots of things I felt and did weren't real. That my sense of danger was severely compromised. He listened to my criticism of Dr Ali.
He upped my bipolar meds and told me that the anti-depressants weren't good for people with bi-polar disease and for that reason alone I had to stop them, He also appreciated that stopping the Effexor was hell and was a bit perplexed as to why I'd been left for so long with very Junior medical staff.
I left fairly elated, you have no idea AT ALL just how good it was for someone to actually listen to me for once.
Ok I know I'm BP, it's fairly obvious. But I wanted someone to acknowledge it so I could move the fuck on.
I went to work, I did ok. I'm home
So I log on to the net.
I type in Bi-polar type 2 and trawl some sites.
Then something jumped out at me. It said that bi-polar patients shouldn't have high doses of anti-depressants as they can kick the illness into severe depressive episodes. Bi-polar illness requires bi-polar treatment.
So the Effexor was making me WORSE?

(NOTE: Antidepressants should be used with caution by Bipolar patients, as some research suggests that antidepressants may trigger switches from depression to hypomania or mania depending on the dose given.)

So I maybe could have avoided some of these awful lows?
Excuse me for being Gob smacked.
I've been poisoned. I've been ignored, dismissed, reduced to a wreck and poisoned.
Holy fuck and I see on the TV, Rick Astley is back.
The only way is up (baby)

Girls girls girls...

School holidays and it's a house full of girls here today. I'm not dressed.. Lazy bitch but about to as I have to go to work... However, first it's Psychiatrist Day, Yay (hmph)
I just had two small parcels come from the Post Man! (no xoggoth it's not some copy of Front Page 2002)
The most interesting one was a lush box with stockings in. Black stockings with lacey tops and fish net.
I love stockings. Abby just ran off with the fishnets and insisted SHE'S having them... I think not. They're MINE all mine.
She's being all thick and dim this morning. She keeps asking me really stupid questions. I just told her to stop being so Dense. She doesn't know what dense means. I rest my case and take my stockings BACK once again.
Danz is out on the trampoline in a short black layered skirt with white pyjama bottoms underneath.
She looks stupid so I asked her. "Why are you wearing shorts under a perfectly good skirt?"
Apparently she doesn't want to show her knickers off.
And Why Not?
Jeez, none of them are like their mother.
Why wear a short skirt then? I made her take the silly shorts off. I told her she'd never get a boyfriend that way. Aren't I just the most lummy Mummy?

Fuck Sheila

What is the worst Advert on TV this week?... Yep the dreadful one for Female Car Insurance, Sheila's Wheels
WTF do they think they are selling to? Some pink dressed Bimbos who have no idea how to drive a car?
Does this advert make me want to get a quote from them.
Fuck No, Makes me want to puke.
Irritating beyond belief. Neither funny or cute.
Makes women drivers a joke (yeah I know some are but... wtf!)
Plus, you can't drive a car holding an apple round these parts so bouncing on the back seat doing your hair and squealing must be at least a 20 year driving ban. Thankfully.

DIY For the dumb part 4

Monday night. It's..... DIY for the dumb evening.
Tonight's lesson had 7 students all needy souls, desperate to glean the techniques of the DIY initiated.
My fav two woman Cagney and Lacey returned. I think they didn't come last week to avoid the electrical lesson.. Cagney said electric holds no spark of interest for her.
Hahahahaaa, so tonight we did.... ELECTRIC again.
But not just boring dull skirting board stuff. Tonight we were up on the ceiling doing light fittings.
Anyways, really thick canon fodder army man was disappointingly there. I challenged him for saying he wouldn't be there this week. The army medical had taken a lot less time than anticipated. I guess they gave up looking for his brain.
There were two other men, one called Martin who knows NOTHING and writes down every word teach says. And the relatively normal one (who is probably a mad axe murderer)
Cagney and Lacey began to moan about the electrical stuff... And Teach made them wire a plug. After all, they missed it last week :)
I told them I was doing a ten week electric course with Ken soon. They asked me why... I told them, I thought I might meet hot men there (I will do if they electrocute themselves)
Lacey said that she doubted it.
I agreed, these courses seem to have all women or incredibly dense men on them. There was a silent pause and the three of us turned and looked at Martin and Brainless Army guy. We were all thinking the same thing.
Teach came over and taught them how to cut wire with a Stanley knife. (I'm already skilled using a stanley knife of course. Like putty in my hands... if only I could remember not to put it in my pocket with the blade still exposed)
I recalled a sign outside the college that said.. College of excellence and accessibility for Learning Disabilities.
Hmmm, says it all really.
So we wired up a ceiling thingy and talked about changing wires, light fittings, switches... I got confused and decided never to touch any electric ever again. I am however, pretty damn good at screwing things into tiny holes. I have a natural aptitude for such behaviour.
Next Monday is tiling, shame really as it's Halloween and I'm not too sure about leaving the kids on their own. Can get pretty freaky around these parts.
Wouldn't want a kid dressed as Derek Acorah scaring them. Maybe I can get a baby sitter?
Do I need to learn to tile?

No Way

"If YOU think I am using a magnetic cat flap you are sadly mistaken. I shall insist you answer the door when I cry, and make it damn fast".

Will I ever be good enough?

The cat flap came today. A magnetic affair with lots of screws and A very complex instruction leaflet. Could be a problem though as I don't possess a saw to lop off part of the door.
It also say you have to measure the cat and put the door in at it's tummy height. Could be a problem with three of them. Kizzy is teeny tiny, Taylor is average and Fat Bailey is... Well Fat.
The collar magnets are HUGE. I'm sure they'll appreciate the new toy... Not.
Guess what? The cat flap came with a FREE GIFT. Hooray, something free. I opened the package with much excitement and anticipation.
It was a gold coloured necklace with this hideous wheat sheaf pendant. In brassy gold and orange.
Absolutely hideous. Abby suggested I give it to my Sister in law For Christmas.... Well. She did give me that awful gold hand brooch once.
That brooch has done the rounds in Somerfield head office. Every man has taken it home as a gift for his wife. Unfortunately none of them could keep a straight face.
What a waste of packaging?
Would you wear it?

R.E

Isn't religion fascinating? All over the world all sorts of people worship some non being. Some entity that someone else has written about and passed down through the ages.
I find it all super entertaining. When I was a kid (not so long ago) I couldn't understand why ANYONE would want to be a RE teacher. I thought they were frankly weird. (Or weirdly Frank)
Are they some half hearted attempt at being a priest? I also found religious Education tedious. I never listened and never learnt.
A big part of my childhood entertainment revolved around church events though. The social side of the church and Girl Guides which always incorporates religion, although I NEVER got to carry that damn flag at church parade. That was down to the popular girls.
I still didn't get just why those people all sang hymns and prayed and ate the bread and drank the wine (ok I got the wine bit)
I got sent on a residential weekend once with Junior church which scared the shit out of me more than tosser Derek Acorah ever could.
The weekend seemed to settle on talking about how Christianity was open to corruption and how the devil was always watching and waiting to get cha!
We prayed that God would protect our young minds and that the Devil would never gain hold of our hearts and will.
That and a combination of Dennis Wheatley books and I had nightmares for a year and didn't step back into church for ages.
Trouble is, the religious teacher has to maintain a certain amount of reservation in these matters. It's no good if he is tantamount to a cult leader.
OK, I understand that Christianity is a good way to guide your lives by. Though, if you do have the aptitude to be a Natural Born Killer, then you possibly aren't a good candidate for The God Squad anyways.

You also aren't going to be A Good Samaritan, if your life is shit and no-one ever does anything for you. In my experience, Churches aren't the best places to find your salt of the earth types anyways.
How about the little old ladies that demanded my Rainbows take off their Easter bonnets on Good Friday. How to explain to 5 year olds that the Easter hats they made were offensive to the old ones?
Christians are very selfish. THEY are going to heaven. Fuck the rest of you. But God will always forgive. You can murder and rape but repent and you are saved?
Hmmm.
I love the bible. There's so many really good stories in there. Stories that are interpreted in so many ways.... Often to suit the religious needs.
Why do you have to be religious to be good?
I'm good. If I hunted really hard I could find a hysterically funny photo of me being Confirmed. God's Bride. White dress and white veil. Pure for Jesus.
Well I would have been pure if I hadn't done Kevin Skidmore in the church ladies toilets.
Maybe I should have tried harder to be purer?
My religious feelings breach the barriers towards all religions. I listen incredulously that people actually believe that suicide bombers will go to a better place and have 100 virgins to satisfy them.
But that's also an extreme faction of the religion.
Have you seen M Night Shyamalan's The Village?
I went because I thought it was a horror movie. It wasn't. It was a thought provoker?
People are people. People are fallible and flawed.
I wonder if people REALLY do need to be taught the values of life, giving, hope, love and vision.
Probably.
And suddenly I see the light. Vive la RE Teacher.

Slip Away

I talked to my baby on the telephone
Long distance
I never would've guessed
I could miss someone so bad

I really only met her 'bout a week ago
But it doesn't seem to matter to my heart
I know that I love her
I'm hoping that I never recover
'Cause she's good for me
And it would really make me happy
To never let her slip away

I feel like a kid with a teenage crush
On a school date
I feel like the lead in "Romeo & Juliet"
I'm a little bit dizzy
I'm a little bit scared
I guess I never felt this much aware
That I'd love her
I'm hoping that I'll never recover
Cause she's good for me
And it would really make me happy
To never let her slip away

I really only met her 'bout a week ago
But it doesn't seem to matter to my heart
I know that I love her
I'm hoping that I never recover
'Cause she's good for me
And it would really make me happy
To never let her slip away

Got Magic Numbers playing on a loop today and they really are so special. Another track they played on the night was Never Let Her Slip Away... another song I had a heck of a job finding. I was surprised it was Andrew Gold.
Lonely Boy was such a fav song of mine. I always remember Pan's People doing some dreadful dancey thing to it on TOTP'S.In the days before music Videos. Mind, Andrew Gold wasn't exactly handsome.
I also found this cool music site to play tracks, whilst you have a REALLY dull day at work.

Not Mad just unusual

Yay two good things happened. My mate rang me, I always like to hear from him AND Clarrie text to say we can go up there at the end of November.
I wonder if my feeling of lowness is due to the Effexor finally leaving my system?
Abby's home.She finished her walk, bless. She walked both ways... Probably about 8 miles. A BIG distance for her.
When she came in I felt dreadful and went to bed, I lay there for a while and now and then I sobbed a bit. Then I remembered something the Psycho-therapist said. She asked me if I'd ever used the Samaritans?
She said they were a good thing to use if I ever wanted to talk.
So, I thought about calling them.
But, as a health care professional myself. I question that advice. They obviously feel I need something more but aren't willing or able to provide it.
Maybe I should stop portraying myself as a victim of the system and do something about it.
Hey!! Trin Power. I AM a strong, determined, sexy, passionate, inspired and clever woman.
Crikey did I just say that?
ps I'm not mad... Remember that ok?

I'm L O N E L Y

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it


God only knows what I'd be without you

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

God only knows what I'd be without you

God only knows what I'd be without you

If you should ever leave me
Well life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows

The Magic Numbers played this track as their entrance.
Couldn't for the life of me think who sang it.
What kind of fucking loser tells the whole world that they are lonely?
What kind of person isn't happy with their own company.
WTF am I going to do next weekend with the kids away. I'll be climbing the walls. Better FIND something to do PDQ.
Xoggoth has put some of my stories (crap stories) on his website which is a bit of an honour stood besides his, my excuse for writing pales. But bless him, he thinks I have potential. In what?
I seem to like friends that are artistic in some way.
The American Guy? he was a very good writer, I loved reading his stuff and I liked that he asked my opinion. He lacked humour though, but he mostly wrote about personal stuff to him and maybe his life had little humour? Maybe.
I remember one day sitting down and writing him something from my childhood. A memory.Something had made me nostalgic and I'd chosen to tell him about it.
I remember the complete devasting hurt I felt when he wrote back, Why had I sent him that? For what point?
Why did there have to be a point?
If there is to be a point to everything than I shouldn't be here. For I serve no real purpose... Well ok, I serve the purpose of being a Mother to my lovely girls, but they'll move on and get lives that may not include me in an active sense.
So I'm kinda wary about sending people stuff.
I'm even getting worse at emailing.
My emails need response. The fact that I sat down and sent something to someone means 'I need contact'
If I don't get a response then I'm easily hurt. Stupidly easily hurt. Idiot woman.
So I don't write much of the time.
I love the email banter, the one liners through across the net. The stuff that makes me smile and lets me be me.
I'm so contradicting. I write stuff and one minute I'm saying there's no point to me and the next sentence says... hey I am here. Talk, email, come see me?
Who the feck could put up with someone like that?
Weird Sunday mood.
Spent the afternoon puking. Yep, happens some days. Who knows why. Except I'm weird. (Fucking too fragile and emotional for counselling CRAP)
Some days I need someone to slap me and say "Pull yourself together"
Collette is rather good at that, so are some of the girls at work. My manager knows me soooo well it's spooky.
Feel a bit better now.
I still maintain that I do need someone to off load to. Someone not emotionally attached to me, to absorb my crap so I can move forward.
Hey maybe I should write that down for the psyhiatrist to chew on?
Going to meet him Tuesday. He's Italian. Dr Dell'erbra. Hope he's handsome. An ugly Italian would be a travesty. If psychiatry does nothing else for me the provision of some decent eye candy would help.

My little Sister

Dadadadullsunday

Abby's gone off on her sponsored walk in aid of her St Lucian trip. She was dreading it, but she's going to make the effort.. Rock on.
I also got rid of Danz, she's gone with my sister to The Farm for the night.
So here I am all alone.
What am I going to do with myself?
What is it with us people? When we're busy we want to be quiet and chilled and when we haven't anything to do , we're dead bored.
I made breakfast today for the family. Something a bit different, rather than making a roast dinner or Sunday tea with trifle and sausage rolls.
I made scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes, Croissants, brioche avec plain chocolate chips, pain au chocolat, pancakes, toast, juice, tea and coffee.
It was fun and best bit is my mum's not doing Sunday dinner now... yay. We get a week off!
I asked her for roast potatoes but apparently Iceland had run out (huh?)
Abby thought the, 'where babies come from' post below was funny, she keeps flicking the web pages to see the naughty bits.
I laughed at her and said my fav page was the one where the baby crawled out of the womb.
"Do they?" She asked with wonderment.
FFS!! heaven help us.
She, then begged me not to write that comment on here, because Daniel would make fun of her.
Ha! Shame I'm a mean cow isn't it?

Dick and Dom in Da Hotel

Tsk tsk tsk
Child TV presenter has a penis. Shock horror. The only shock I have is that he choose an 'escort' he's a good looking man. Surely he has women falling at his feet? (I'd do him no hesitation)
I would refuse to buy this trashy 'Newspaper' for this reason alone. His private life is up to him. I know a few guys who have used an escort at some point in their lives... Mainly to see what all the fuss is about.
Look at these lines.

"The sex was frantic and passionate. He was lovely that night even though his performance was a bit average.

"But he wanted nothing to do with me in the morning, which is the most hurtful thing. He made me feel cheap."

He wanted nothing from her in the morning? Then you weren't much good then you bloody tart... And he MADE you feel cheap? You are cheap.

But the ungentlemanly way he left hurt her most. She said: "He got up, mentioned feeding the cats and threw a wad of notes on the bed. I hoped he'd spend more time with me."

Ungentlemanly.... FFS he went home to feed his cats... I'm very sorry but the man is fecking perfect.

If you read the whole article, it's full of holes and contradictions and makes me feel very angry.
Off to make breakfast for the hungry thousands. My sister's 40th and she wants breakfast?
Maybe she thinks I can grill a little bacon better than anything else?
I do like a nice warm sausage
X

Where Babies Come From

from Planet Dan... where babies come from
Educative..... hmmmm interesting.
Click the link... and follow the story.

Webb Brother Goodies.

I liked this band...check them out if you get the chance.

Justin Webb (vocals/guitars) and Christiaan Webb (vocals/keyboards) are the sons of legendary songwriter Jimmy Webb. After first attending Boston University, they later shared a one-room studio in their adopted hometown of Chicago, IL, and soon were playing local rock clubs and dives in the Windy City...

Wow their dad wrote "Wichita Lineman", bloody cool! (I do love a bit of Glenn)

Our Souvenirs. Abby also has a tour tee-shirt... not a cheap night... but very good.
And the drinks are reasonable at Bristol Uni.

The Magic Numbers Bristol '05

.
The enigmatic and engaging Magic Numbers. My little Newcastle Mate took this... He was taller than me, though no where near as tall as Giraffe.