The kids have gone to see Harry Potter with their dad. Hope they're ok and he treats them nice. They looked so grown up tonight, hair all straightened and make up... Both of them.
I had a funny 5 minutes earlier. I began to feel really sad. I was thinking about past stuff. All the people I've met and passed by. All the lives I've brushed past. All those people that meant so much to me at the time, but didn't feel the same way about me.
I feel like I'm an old wall. I've got layers and layers of old peeling paint and wallpaper on me, and the more people I meet the more layers get piled on. Covering up the bare boards, some of it looks good for a while then it peels away again and gets shabbier and dirtier.
If you understand all of that you should be a bloody psychiatrist but basically however painful it might be, I really need to go back to the bare boards and start all over.
Well anyways, earlier I went to bed and it felt good, I gently submerged into my murky mood and let it close over the top of me.. But as always it got too intense and too dark and I began to panic. I needed to reach out to someone to get a grip and resurface.
Dopey bitch aren't I?
The person I chose wasn't really available. Maybe that was for the best. I switched off the phone and went to sleep.
When I woke up those little sweeties had done all the housework. Washed up and the house was immaculate. They didn't know what else to do. Aren't they just the absolute best kids in the whole world. And I'm the most miserable stupid bitch of a Mother ever?
Anyways I need to write this stuff down so I can reflect. Sorry world.
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9 comments:
I refuse to take the kids skip shopping. Can you come over and take them Asmo?
ps, she liked the Christina Ricci thing
crap or what? I commented on the wrong post. C'est la Vie.
Talking to yourself Ms Flaps?? That's the first sign of, oh no I meant the 99th.
The world loves it. Well I do anyway, who cares about the world? I'm a xenophobe.
Sounds like fun. So when they tell me their Mum lets them smoke cigars and buy Whiskey I will be relieved of all responsibility?
I'm also relieved that Christina Ricci comparisons are acceptable!
Bleh. That wasn't anonymous, 'twas I
They'd probably tell you that as well.. little monsters.
Kids should be locked up. So should old people. One had the audacity today to press the zebra crossing button making me use my brakes to stop. Bloody old people I told Abby, they should be in a home.
She reckons that when I'm old I'll be a serial zebra crosser. Enjoying making cars stop for me.
Then taking ages to cross the road... she said Marie would join me. One each side of the road. Until we get dragged off by the cop shop.
Is it me or are these fecking verification codes getting ridiculously long?
Pain in the bot those codes. I type them wrong half the time.
Tsk, the pair of you will only be doing it to get dragged off by the police. Anything to meet a nice man in a uniform...
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