Thursday, November 24, 2005

EXtreme extremities

zombie gets head transplant
Anyone remember when a make over was a slap of make up and your hair blow dried by Nicky Clarke on Morning TV? I remember they did a whole police station once. All the women had the once over with a damp Cloth and a bit of back combing.
Nowadays it's a much more serious business with plastic surgery and a personal trainer.
We're watching The American Extreme Make over version. It's all plastic and smiles and false laughing.
Tummy tucks and nose jobs and chemical peels followed by a Limo ride to a recovery centre where they make you walk up stairs and lie in luxury for a few days post surgery.
attack Iran....
The bit that always makes me laugh is the Porcelain Veneers. They all get these white lumps of tooth. Personally I'm suspicious that they are really having a micro chip inserted into these teeth that will enable Mind Control by the American Secret Service.
Then the 'reveal' everyone cries, the grannies cry, the boyfriends cry, you reckon they're told to cry?
Often I reckon they look worse. They've been moulded into this plastic barbie shape. Then there's the 'fashion' I watched one last week with this awful floor length satin red dress with a cable strap on her chest. She looked dreadful.
The British version isn't so extreme, funny old programme. Sometimes you can't even tell what they had done and the teeth are never as brilliant white.
Wonder what extreme makeover will be in 10 years time? A whole new head? Eyes? Liver?
A foot transplant.
"Titanium aged 28 hates her feet so we've attached all new feet for her, perfect size 4 with uniform sized toes and real feel skin that will never blister no matter what shoes you cram them into".

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Zombie is right, not one of the fresher ones either.

Needless to say I would make it compulsory for all skinny women to have gigantic bottoms grafted on. They could use genetic engineering to breed special donor animals from hippos, baboons and DNA from some so far undiscovered extinct thing with a gargantuan bottom found in a piece of amber.

Anonymous said...

A Gargantuan bottom stuck in a piece of amber? Now THAT would make interesting Jewellery.