Shelter

I've been to the gym. I got up, looked in the mirror realised I looked a complete sight but thought what the heck, I'm only going to get wet so set off.
The place was full of middle aged women chatting. A social event. I pang of jealousy that I hadn't got anyone to socialise with then annoyance that they were so tightly knit in the water that length swimming was problematic.
The first 10 lengths were hard work, but I pushed through the pain and got into focus. I did 18. I've only ever managed 20 before so I was pleased. I could have done more but the gossip brigade were pissing me off and I had stuff to do home here.
We're looking forward to Blue Peter though a part of me thinks... Shit what if the girls look like complete tramps. But if they do look like rough council house kids remember they're in Homeless Mode and meant to look that way ;)
Shelter rang me a while back to ask if I do something very special for them. They want someone to go to London, Stay overnight and attend a conference on Mental Health and being homeless. With emphasis on the effects on the children and how Shelters work helped.
They say I'm an inspiration to others and would do Shelter justice.
Me?
Inspirational?
I will do it. It might make me very nervous but I am well able to project myself and stand up and talk. But the main reason I'd do it is to somehow repay Shelter for their dedication and commitment to me and the girls over the past 4 years.
Shelter H2H were the main crux to us functioning as a family, to the girls coming to terms with events and being able to relax and realise we weren't on our own.
I'm not sure anyone will possibly understand just exactly what we went through those first few awful years. But moreso what the kids went through with my completely crazy irrational behaviour and the debt and sorrow I put them through. The bailiffs banging at the door, the fear of not having a roof over our heads.
Abby refused to go to school for 3 months at one time. We had the educational welfare people round. Shelter sorted all of that out and got her moved to Hartcliffe. Turns out that Abby used to cry a lot at school and this is why she was bullied, because she was an emotional wreck.
And why was she such a wreck? Because of all the shit at home. Kids can be so cruel. At a time when she needed them they turned on her.
Our past has been troubled but our past also shapes us into the people we are now and I think we're ok. I think the girls are wonderful kids and will be able to draw on past experiences to channel them through life.
What's my Motto? What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Never a truer sentence... Especially in the Trinity household.