professional whiner.com

"I wish you'd stop ignoring me, because you're sending me to despair"

Arctic Monkeys (2006)

I feel a bit anxious tonight Something's not quite right in my mind. I had a bad day at work. I've been rationalising that I take things far too personally and feel as if I've failed if things go pear shaped.

To start with I sent a patient for a hearing test. I gave her directions to the department... I have to admit it's a long way away. But they have to go. I had just finished talking and she asked to use to Bathroom. I sent her off down the corridor whilst I put her notes in a transit bag. After a while and she hadn't come back, I went to look for her. Someone had let her out..She'd gone right across the other side of the hospital without her notes. They won't do hearing tests without notes.
I felt awful and apologised profusely but I was annoyed at the nurse who'd let them out without asking me.
Meanwhile I had to work with someone new. Now, she's not REALLY new. I've worked with her before but she's new to my ward.
I think she'd decided she didn't like me long ago. I think she'd built up in her head that we wouldn't get on. The minute I arrived I could cut the atmosphere with a knife. It was like she was waiting for me, the minute she would stand her ground and show me who was boss. She wasn't going to let me take charge. She was going to show me.
Guess what happened? She said something sharp and I burst into tears.
Great. And I'm this awful person she was dreading working with? Actually I wanted to go home and would have if our really lovely ward receptionist had stopped me and shook some sense into me.
But you know me. I'll fret and angst over it for the next 15 years then move onto the next thing. You wait and see.
Does this happen in everyone else's lives? Is it just me? Do you all have people you can and can't work with? I just want everything to be pink and fluffy. Everyone to love each other and be nice and pull together for the ultimate aim. The patient.
Idealistic? There's one for the Johari window guys.

Meanwhile...Down at the farm. Last day of school tomorrow. It's the last end of term for Abby. Next term will be quite different with exams and stuff. I like school holidays. I like them being home with me... but I don't like the sodding washing! They wear like 10 outfits a day. Grr