"Cause I'm Young And I'm Hopeless,
I'm lost and know this,
I'm going nowhere fast, that's what they say.
I'm troublesome, I'm fallen,
I'm angry at my father,
It's me against this world, and I don't care.
I don't care".
Good Charlotte 2002
Collette phoned last night. It seems that my ex husband and father to my children is feeling rather down at his lack of contact with the children.
ok.
He says that if regular contact isn't established then he won't bother anymore and will forget them as he is heart broken at their indifference towards him.
I find this awful hard to equate. He left us in a very difficult situation and frankly has done nothing towards breaching the rift and healing anything.
Abby in particular is still very angry towards him and that takes up most of her counselling sessions. His behaviour has not commanded any form of respect or affection from her at all.
This 'book' he keeps on us, this place where he writes every word of communication he has with any of us distresses her. Although the damn thing means nothing... She still feels it could be used as a weapon against us.
5 years down the line from divorce, why is this still an issue?
Much talking and apologising and explaining should have been done with the kids. But not a word has been said. I could tell you a few tales.. But what would be the point? I'm not angry anymore. I don't care actually. I have more pressing issues to deal with, so when this problem raises it's ugly head again I feel this overwhelming sadness and load on my shoulders.
So I sat down with the kids, made them turn off MSN messenger (major trauma) and asked them if they'd try to get some contact with their father and in Abby's case be civil.
So they rang him and said they'd see him next Saturday at 2pm.
Abby came off the phone. "OK?" I asked.
"Not really" she looked resigned "He said I'd better have a better attitude towards him because if I continue to be disrespectful he'll walk"
"Walk?"
"Yeah, walk he said... He won't ever see us again... Forget us, my choice"
Now someone remind me just WHO out of the two of them is the 15 year old?
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3 comments:
He's made his decision. He's a nob and a competely self absorbed man.
He's trying to throw blame for his failings at anyone he can... makes him feel better. Salves his consience (i know i spelt that wrong) if he can feel it's not his fault.
REALLY REALLY makes me want to use some horrendous words to describe him. Makes me angry.
Being a father is about being there if and when you are needed. To praise and to forgive. To direct and to guide. To shape and mould. Children aren't a temporary attachment. Being a father isn't something that you can stop being.
I want to rant a bit but this isn't my blogg and I don't know the man but what i know of your girls, ... well, lets just say I think they're responsible, pleasant and very well adjusted.
*hugs*
Take care... all of you.
The man is a complete arse!!! You can't just cut out your kids snd forget them. True parents worry about their kids until the day they die (even when their kids have grandchildren of their own)
You (and the girls) have to ask yourselves one thing: If he cut off all contact what would be the impact? I suspect it would mean less anxiety for the girls.
If he does cut off all contact that is his decision, his stupid fault! The girls should not blame themselves or feel guilty about it.
You know I'm right on this Trin, don't give him the satisfaction of winning another round of "I can still control your life" - He's simply not worth it
DylanG....
You fancy running for government? I agree with you 100%.... and more!
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