Eurovision with Trin

Eurovision night and I missed the first song. Bet that one wins.

Well Javine just gave us her all. TBH the constant "Touch my Fire" drove me nuts. No Javine I WILL not touch your fire now bugger off so I can watch Malta.

Malta's song was sung by a trout in a red dress. Trout had good voice. Red Hair red dress no knickers.

Romania's had bog brush hair , but her drummers were definitely shaggable

Norway's has a HUGE codpiece. I'd vote for him for the outfit. He has not got the figure for that cat suit. WTF has happened to sweet little Dana Dittys?

Oh feck. Moldova (where's that) Anthony Kiedis wanna be vs folk rock. Like the toothless old woman with the big drum. He wants you to make love. Yippee

Albania's going for Boobavision to help their attempt. Seems drums are in a big way this year. (Kisses for me save all your kisses for me) sorry bit of deja vue there.

John Travolta and Scary Spice are doing Cyprus.

The less said about Spain the better. Now we get Israel. Crikey those boobs are not real. And fake tan all over them too. Bet she wins. Wonder if they bounce?

Serbia and Babygro's answer to Sam and Mark are next. The drum man needs a visit to the Orthodontist. Losers.

Feckity. Denmark's answer to Boyzone all got pink shoes on. Nooooo

Jeez I'm in love. Sweden. Hot as fuck and nice lunch box to boot.

(I'm out in the pouring rain calling Bailey and she trots down the stairs looking at me like I'm nuts)

Macedonia.... "Your cuddly toy. I am the boy, who will break up with you to be free"

Ukraine. Loving the handcuffs. Not sure about the band name The Green Jolly. He keeps singing about wanting a starbucks latte. They got market sellers pouches on. Hope that never catches on.

Bloody Hell. Eurovisions gone all Goth Rock. Germany have got Cher fronting a Goth/metal/pop/? Band.

Croatia :/ .Miss Greece is a looker. Nice Pins on her. Lush dress too. One of the least embarrassing despite the open shirts. Russia? Good job she got hairspray on.

Bosnia got an Atomic Kitten lookalike for them. A little pinkie girlie group called Feminem. Sounds like a tampon name to me.

Sam and Mark are back in for Latvia (But I like it) Switzerland were called Vanilla Ninja. I always thought that was a sexual term?

And France? To end. Were crap. Nil Points.