xoggoth. A topical tale

Politicians, household names?

Everything in and around the Xoggoth household which is used for disposing of anything nasty has a suitable name.

The upstairs lavatory which sees the most use is called Gordon Brown. Fittingly it is brown. The downstairs cloakroom one is Tony Blair and green. Mad maroon would be more appropriate, but that colour was not fashionable in the 70s. The waste from both flows to the small New Labour sewage works half a mile away. Sometimes I pass there on one of my runs and wonder that I could so insult a very functional little plant.

The peddle bin in the kitchen is called civil servants, the dustbin is politicians and I drain engine oil from my van into an old washing up bowl called Dawn Primarolo. Nothing deserves to be called taxman permanently, although a small part of the compost heap ('asylum seekers') held the title for a few weeks after I buried a dead rat there.

Anyhow, the other month I went for a Gordon's number two. Not an event I would normally remember except that it was PM on budget day. At the very moment crap was going into our brown ceramic Gordon Brown it was coming out of the real one in the House of commons.

I felt that I was responsible somehow. Maybe the shambles of the Finance Act 2003 was down to the Enchiladas I had had the previous day. Who was to blame for the shambles of all his previous finance acts I have no idea.