Discovering the secret world of the Sock Knitter

Sat at home safe and warm in our little houses, have any of us ever given a thought to the secret and somewhat bizarre world of the sock knitter? (drum roll)
Whilst innocently messing around on the net last night I happened to stumble across their secret little niches. Places where they meet and communicate. Shared patterns and shared pictures of helpless trapped relatives dressed from head to foot in wool. God said 'suffer little children to come unto me'.... but not dressed in wool
But socks, socks were everywhere. Circular socks, stripey socks. All colours. 4 ply, cable, double knit. I was most overwhelmed and went to bed having nightmares about socked feet walking up and down my naked body shouting knit one purl one faster faster.............
Why? I ask myself. What possible pleasure can these fiends get from such deranged activity? Don't they realise the damage it causes. The lives they ruin?

Folk Socks. Don't read it.
It's Little red riding hood in wool. The three little pigs with aaron walls. Billy Goats gruff trip trapping over the bridge in socked feet.
Take Knitting needles. Not even allowed on Airplanes anymore. That should tell you something. they are Weapons of mass destruction.
I hear the secret sock society are planning to terrorise Germany by rebuilding the Berlin Wall.
In stockinette stitch with a twist of double rib and a pretty gusset stitch in super soft 4 ply.



Now I must remember to take my pills tonight....