Mania

You know that part of the reason for this blog was to express myself living through my spot of craziness. There is no rhyme or reason for my constant (but irregular) ups and downs. I also have no real way of being able to deal with them. Today was awful, just awful. I'd been rung yesterday to tell me to be in early because we were short staffed. Ok no problem except driving to work through the interminable Bristol traffic, I got stressed. I forgot my car park pass. So I was worried about parking. The road was full of lorries and learner drivers. The radio was irritating me with it's silliness.
So I arrived. I found a space easily outside the ward (miracle) but I landed on the ward HYPED UP with nothing really to hype about.
Now in retrospect, I could see I was manic. I did everything but only half of everything. I was racing, my mind was racing. Nobody was moving quick enough for me and I was worried worried worried about EVERYTHING.
At midday I happened to catch the eye of my manager who sat me down and asked if I was ok and to my horror I burst into tears. She asked what was wrong. I didn't know. Nothing was wrong. Except I was worried...About everything and nothing.
She said I was on the ceiling today. Everyone was tiptoeing around me. How the feck do they put up with me? Only the fact I'm a good nurse and nice person (as a whole lol)
So they told me that I wasn't to 'rush' into work. When I arrived was fine. My off duty isn't to be changed. I'm to let my manager know about all these problems I tend to sort and she will do it.
I'm not to go home worrying (easier said than done when you're bi-polar) then Steph lent me a tenner so I'd stop fretting about the gas at home.
At 2pm. I was starting to relax a bit when I get a call from Abby's school. She'd had an electric shock. I don't know how but it was some boy who'd done it to her and it had gone through her hand and her head hurt. She has braces and she had a ring on her hand. Could I come get her and check her over.
So then I raced home in the traffic, getting more and more stressed. I went to text someone to tell them, as I like to share my stresses but realised that was silly.
Anyways she's ok.
And I need a lie down. I may have a vodka tonight.
I need to resubmerge into that place where everything is fluffy.