Today I'm depressed. I haven't felt this way in such a long long time now. Oh I've been down and miserable and full of self pity. But today the cloud is fixed over my head and I can feel the tunnel edges surrounding me. I feel ill. My head hurts, my sight is disturbed and I'm exhausted. I only got out of bed to pick up Nic and went straight back.
I'm not interested in anything. I don't want to talk to anyone....But there's a couple of things bothering me. The council keep sending me eviction letters and I don't get it. I'm not the world's most regular payer of said rent. But it's always paid. I got one today again. I didn't understand it so I tore it up. I thought about ringing Clarrie to ask her advice but I can't pick up the phone. Phone phobia was part of my illness. You can't control what people say to you. Email? I can selectively read, but it's not idea. Blog? Well yes I get full control. I can be who I want to be and delete if I get pissed off.
I also keep getting bills and pay slips for a Mr Webb. Now the gas board are going to cut him off if he doesn't pay. Can't they all leave me alone?
The kids keep asking if I'm ok. I don't feel like crying though. So that must be good...Right?
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(((((((Trin)))))))
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