I'm really sad this morning because I made a decision. Something I really did want to do,I'm not going to now. I'm not strong enough, it's a sensible decision and sensible isn't usually a word that goes with Trin.
I'm so weak and pathetic sometimes, I hate myself today. I'm sat here crying and not sure why.
Last night was horrid here, wind and rain and Taylor and Kizzy refused to come in. Serves them right for ignoring me.
I got up today and the sunflowers had blown over. Something had blown onto my patio pots and ruined the flowers. They're all ruined, like me. Everything is ruined by the fact that I'm not strong enough to not have got ill.
Why couldn't I be like most other people and just coped with life. Why did I have to be the one to go crazy and end up like this? Some stupid pathetic woman whose on her own?
Yep, don't fret, I just took my pill and no doubt will feel better in an hour. No work today, maybe that's for the best.
It's a mad world. So many people so worse off than me, yet this mental illness prevents me from seeing that and realizing that what I have is good. I guess the fact that I can see that means things are improving.
On the way to work yesterday, the traffic was awful and then I heard on the radio a nine year old girl had been hit by a car and that was the traffic problem.
I went cold, she has serious head injuries and been taken to hospital. Her poor parents, what they must be going through.
Things could be so much worse. See I'm talking myself out of this 'sorry for myself' mood already.