Evulness Hits Music

There's a new threat about. A threat to our ears, psyche and sanity. A mix of nauseating, gut wrenching pop to turn your insides into granulated slush and your brain into fodder for Hannibal Lector.
Yes its the 'Best of' Season. Put out in time for Jolly Santa to visit because they know you won't know what to get Great Auntie Gladys.
Well even Gladys won't be glad to find these in her stocking. I imagine it could be quite a horrendous shock.
'May I Be Frank' is the newest offering from those Boys with stools. Westlife. No guys you may not be Frank. Maybe Frank Spencer but not the great God of the croon Sinatra.
This must be the low point in the White suited boys career since the awful Bop Bop Baby. They've really hit mid-life with a bang. Next will be the middle aged spread and hair loss...ooops that's happened already. I got news for you lot. The people you're aiming at, Those Hip 30 somethings like me?......... I like Razorlight and Killers and Muse and Franz and guess what? You will NEVER catch them covering a Frank Sinatra, Val Doonigan or Daniel O'Donnell tune.
Plus another sickening happening. The guy I hate more than Westlife (is that possible) and by the way. The person who signed me up for the Westlife email updates? YOU WILL DIE VERY SOON.
Anyway I diverse. I am referring to the evul Irish leprechaun of lurve Mr Ronan Keating.(come on down)
'Ten Years of Hits' is it really that long? You get less than that for murder. Someone save me. 'Hits?' For a start, can I comment on the truly inspired and original CD title. Holding back no punches there Ronan old boy. I feel 'Ten Years of The Shits' might have been more apt amusing and generally correct.
If you feel the need to buy this CD think hard. Do you Really need it. Will it make you happy? Will it make you more attractive to girls? will it make you orgasm uncontrollably? If the answer is yes. Book yourself into the Priory soon. Help is always available.
Brought to you by Trinitys self help group. For the musically challenged.