I've just heard a friend's marriage is ending. I was surprised because she always proclaimed undying love for him and said he was the best shag ever.
Started me thinking, did she know what good sex was anyways? How do we know if we've had 'good' sex?
Having been married for 11 years I know all about marital sex. In the beginning it was spontaneous, free and exciting. But all too soon the pressures of kids, work and married life detract from desire.
My main problem was the fact that he stopped trying after about year. He let himself go, was inattentive and dull. picture, joggers with elasticated legs, white socks, trainers :/
So what about really mind blowing sex? How can you capture that with a man or woman you've been with for many years?
Communication is the key. This partner of yours...If they're the one for you, should know you very well. Know what you're capable of and what you want and need.
So many women say cuddles and touching are far more important than the sexual act. Why is that? Because they don't get enough attention. Women think that the sex act is all gratification for the man.
I remember marital sex well. I called it 'The Roll on Roll off Car Ferry Position'. Roll on, anchor, then a short burst of energy, (about 25 seconds I'd say) then roll off and down stairs for a can of Skol. (yeuk)
If your sex life is like that you need to get out fast...or do some very serious work on it.
Have you ever had a one night stand that was great? Imagine if that person was your partner and got to know you, what you liked, what you wanted to try. It would be fantastic.
I've had good sex, I've had great sex. But the best sex I've had was with the man who made me laugh, who'd try anything. Who made me feel special, liberated and feminine.
Love? Well ok, sex with someone you love is bliss. But love is fickle and tainted. Love is marred by the grubby ring he left round the bath, the dirty pants on the bedroom floor, the washing you asked him to hang out left screwed up in the washing machine. And the same goes for women too. Oh god women are not perfect. The nagging, the looks when you have a drink with the boys, the silence, when you think you've done wrong, but can't work out what. The PMT when you can do NOTHING right.
I personally think that everyone, including my kids, have ESP and should be able to mind read what I want. I know I do it. Imagine living with that!
Good sex makes us feel bloody great, liberated, desirable and wanted. Orgasms release seritonin into our brains and makes us happy.
So we should concentrate on sex more. Stop viewing it as a task but a treat. Make time for it. Do it and do each other.
Ok, before Christmas book a hotel room. Let Aunty Sue have the kids (she loves them anyway) and experiment with each other, and yourself. Get the sex toys out (you better have some!!!!) and let yourself go.
So much will fall into place, you'll be happier, more relaxed and a much more rounded whole person.
Do something really dirty that makes you blush when you think of it.
I know a great trick with ice-cream ;)
Princess. Marital sex goes wrong! Warning very rude. Takes a while to load but its fab.
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