Talk Talk not not

I really wanted to talk today. Don't know why? I guess there's lots of things in my head that I wanted to say, ask, find out about. Nothing important or heavy though. Somedays I miss not having someone here to bounce Ideas from. No necessarily a man either, just someone who knows me. I rang a few people. I even rang my mum. But they were all distracted or busy and didn't have time to get into a deep conversation about the world and such related topics. So I feel dissatisfied.
I'm going to the gym before work tomorrow to burn off the excess energy in my head. Maybe I won't need to talk to people then.
This is the one thing that's so awful about being on my own. Only having kids for company and conversation. My head gets stagnant and lethargic. I'm not stretched. There's little humour here.
I want to open a bottle of wine and chat. Set the world to rights. Gossip. God I miss gossiping. We don't even gossip at work anymore. The place is a shell of it's former self, seething with emotion and energy. Now it's like a train station. They stop we see them and send them off. People come people go. All impersonal.
The worse bit is when I call people and its blatantly obvious they aren't even listening to me. Then I feel worse. Unvalued and crap.
Of course it's all my very own fault for alienating half of the city.
Maybe I actually haven't got anything to say that others want to hear. There's always that of course. I guess I have come a long way. In being able to live alone with some Karma. In being able to identify that I'm quite lonely...But to be able to express it without all that stupid emotion that used to ooze out of every orifice (lol)
Anyways I just text someone who actually has treated me rather unkindly and told them to sod off. Hmmm do I feel better? Well maybe a little more self respect anyways. Girl Power. Burn your bra's and Knickers and ban all pink.