My lovely little Girlies

My sweeties. The rainbows making Christmas cards for their mummy's. Some of them used so much glitter that Marie took 25 minutes cleaning the tables. Next week's our Christmas Party! They're dead excited now about everything. We got them all great gifts this year. I'll tell you more next week.

Alien Baby Contest

Baby contest in the local paper. Awww. But imagine the horror of opening the paper to find your darling cherub has a bright green face. Not all of them were green but poor faith top right and Peony middle end were really green.

Prat-Man arrives in Bristol

Whilst taking Abby for an appointment today we walked past one of those bloody 'Fathers for Justice' protests. This complete twat dressed as Batman and his side kick Tonto were up on top of the council building, shouting about being denied access to their kids. I muttered loudly about how stupid they were and as a single mum of a prat ex husband maybe I should climb on top of something. Anyways apparently Batman is going to stand for parliament as of course we need another twat in our government don't we?

Bad Kitty

My plant is being systematically destroyed. Watch this space for news of ruined Christmas trees!

5am

I was awoken very early this morning with a sharp stabbing pain in my chest.
No I wasn't having myocardial Infarction. The cat had dug her sharp claws into me. She then laid over my face so I couldn't breath and had to get up.
I sat up muttering unpolitely and stumbled downstairs to let her and Taylor out. The kitten made a dash for the door and I only just caught her before she escaped. She then mewed loudly until I fed her. At this point I thought WTF? And made a cup of tea. Switched on the PC and read the online news.
Now I'm tired. I just went upstairs to make my bed and what a surprise. Three cats are laid out on it fast asleep #~%#%&^~@*$

Top of the Pops leaves BBC One

inevitable

I have always maintained that I had no Idea why they chose Andi Peters to produce this show? What does he know about the cutting edge of music? What's happening to popular music these days? I guess most people have some form of satellite or cable TV. Maybe channels like the box or Kerrang are taking over this once staunch tradition of watching TOTP's once a week. I have to admit though.. I don't watch it either. The show is too full of itself and not the bands. I prefer to watch something like Gonzo on MTV2 . I like finding out about the bands...What they're up to, who they are!
I dislike the presenters greatly. People like the dizzy Fern Cotton. Her and people like Andi Peters mean Kids TV to me. I believe this gives far less credibility to the programme. To me this says...'This show is for kids not you Ms Trinity' So I don't bother.
I would prefer a set up by where a credible DJ like Jo Whiley or Zane Interview the band and then they play live.
I think less and less people listen to and pay any attention to the charts nowadays. The charts are most definitely not a fair and balanced view of music today. There's so much more out there than one small Top 40. This is the problem with Top of The Pops. It doesn't allow it to be shown.

X Factor? Don't you mean No Factor?

This morning I had the misfortune to watch a rerun of last nights the X Factor (My kids are hooked on reality TV)
Well as a complete newcomer to this programme, I cannot believe that these last four acts of such utter dross, sum up the total talent for the UK? Or maybe the real answer is the true self respecting talented souls out there wouldn't be seen dead anywhere near it?
There were four acts left.
G4. A barbers shop quintet harmonising Queen songs. If Freddie doesn't rise up from the grave and strike them dead we'll send Anita Dobson in to do the job (one look at the poodle perm will strike terror into the heart of anyone)
Tabby. Some disastrous hair tint, seemingly unwashed guy, named after a cat. Seems able to play a few bars of a song on his guitar. Then does the most horrendous Guns and Roses cover. Talent? My vibrator's more talented than that crock of shit.
Rowetta. Alarmingly reminded me of some slightly unhinged relative. Dreadful perm and talks such utter crap, unable to keep her mouth shut for one second. A terrible Shirley Bassey soundalike minus Shirleys star appeal. She got kicked out and obv wants to get in Simon Cowells knickers. A stupid thing to want when he spouts such shit from every orifice.
Steve. Ummm the most bland unattractive man in the world. A David Essex wannabe. But he will NEVER have Davids sex appeal and boy charm. His voice was terrible. He didn't appear to even have a personality.
The Judges were discussing the contestants future at one point. Simon said they were going to have a star studded time , until Louis put a little oar in the works by mentioning the disastrous winner that was Michelle McManus. One hit then disappeared off the face of the earth.
The great British public are a fickle lot. The people that vote on these programmes are prob under 10 yrs. They don't have the cash to buy the records afterwards and any self respecting parent wouldn't allow it in the house.
There are only a few exceptions to this. Girls Aloud....Made special by Cheryl Tweedys famous Chavness. These girls are what you see. We love a group of real slappers in the UK. Will Young. Saving grace is his gayness. Gay is good. Plus he's made some good decisions and has a fairly acceptable voice.
But the dreadful mistakes and immediate return to oblivion of such acts ace David Sneddon, One True Voice, Michelle McAnus and that short lesbian Cornish girl who won fame academy (can't even remember her name) makes it a rocky road for the winner of any reality pop show.
(PS WTF is Nadia doing singing? She sounds like some seal crossed with a fog horn completely dire)

The Incredibles

Me and the girls went to see this film tonight, I was bored. Fancied doing something. The cinema was half full and the adverts went on for over half an hour..ridiculous. The kids in there were restless and bored considering most of the ads were for perfume abnd cars.
The film however was good, funny and lively. touch like spy kids though with a hint of Thunderbirds .
I really liked Violet the teen daughter who came out of her shell during the movie. But my fav character was Edna the costume designer with voice by Brad Bird who also directed the movie. My main complaint was the 15 quid it cost me for three cokes and three hotdogs, damn extortionate.

Santas grotto

A neighbours house. All trimmed up for Santa. Funny though they have the wires going in through the bedroom window...so they can't shut it. Must be bloody freezing!

Bailey in the washing basket with her teddy.

Westlife Anger At Band Aid 20 Snub

Ananova - boo-hoo Band Aid didn't want men in white suits

Awww what a shame. Those naughty band-aid people left out Westlife from their new band aid single.
Maybe there wasn't enough room to put the stools?

Christmas Presents

Every year is the same. I have no money and wait until payday in December...a week before Christmas to get presents. The shops are heaving, I get hot and cross and tired and panicky about money. Then January there isn't enough cash left to pay the bills. So I pay double in February and don't get straight again till March.
But not this year! Oh no this year I started shopping in August. If I saw it and liked it I got it. I've got quite a haul up in my wardrobe.
Then I started buying stuff online. I have a Christmas philosophy with the kids. They all deserve at least one thing they REALLY want. When they were little if they asked Santa for it...That's what they got. Plus I always got them something as a lovely surprise. I always do them a stocking. Packed full of girlie stuff like hairbands and jewelry and CD's etc. Oh of course and festive sweeties and chocolates. Sometimes I think they like the stocking better than anything.
You know when I was married my ex hardly ever bought me a gift. But I'd have loved presents and a stocking as well. But I'd have had to do it myself...That's no fun. Or he'd buy stuff that I didn't use. Ok you say...If he did it why moan? Because after so many years of marriage it goes to show how much you really know and have studied your partner. To know what type of soap and bubble bath they like. To know what perfume they wear. To know what type of music or film they'd watch or what type of book. There's an art to a good marriage and I'm deadly serious when I say you have to WORK at it. It can be a bloody hard slog though. He bought me earrings once. Stud things with hangy bits. I feint delight. I hated them. They simply weren't what I wore. Why didn't he know that? Why didn't he know that I don't like earrings with hangy bits...Mainly because we can't wear them at work. I seriously doubt I will ever have another man that close to me, but if I did. I'd like to be cherished and studied and for him to really know me. Do you know something silly though? I still have those earrings. Because they were bought for me. I'm not an ungrateful bitch see! I did sell my wedding ring for £8 a couple of years back though. Needed food. It was worth a lot more but beggars can't be choosers.
Anyways I digress. I have all these things upstairs bought ages ago and anyone who knows me will know my memory is real bad at present. So I forgot what I'd bought, and I bought more. Then I wrap it up with no name on..And forget who its for. (I wrap it up quickly so they can't find it and spoil the surprises)But I do love Christmas. I love giving gifts. I love glitter and tinsel and fairy lights. I love the Christmas story. Watching the tiny ones doing a nativity. Singing Christmas Carols and watching White Christmas (I always cry). I love watching my girls open their gifts and the huge fuss they make watching me open the trinket they bought me.
I used to love it on Christmas Eve with their dad getting all the gifts ready. I'd do one stocking and he'd do the other. Since he left us Christmas has been hard for me. The Christmas before last was a couple of bottles of Vodka and I was blotto through most of it.
Last year was better. I was more in control. Plus I made a special friend in January and that makes last year's memory's good.
This Year? I'll be ok. More in control. Still severely lacking in self confidence but getting there.
Since the divorce I told everyone I didn't want gifts. I wasn't good enough to get gifts. Ha! Funny from the girl who loved Christmas with such a passion. So excited I couldn't sleep. I want my girls Christmasses to be like mine were. I'm trying anyways.... Trying too much I think from the haul upstairs. I think I better stop.

Blairs slim UK

Blairs slim uk

Yeah yeah the government is tackling the countries fat problem..... umm maybe they have more pressing matters to sort out...like a small war raging in Iraq?
But stuff the obesity...check out this family's fashion sense? Now that is a disaster. The family pictured need shooting for being seen in such attire. Dreadful.

Gratuitous Kitten Pic

You cannot have enough pictures of my pussy.

Danger Alert Code Red

Beware the men of Madchester. Clarrie and Jude hit the social scene today. Lock up your sons, grandfathers and milkmen. Nowhere is safe. (Have fun girls...I'm v v v jealous)

Ooooooooh cat fight in the Jungle

"You have no emotion Sophie. I was expressing how I felt to you
Where's your feelings baby? I want to hug you and feel you really meant it. I don't feel you baby. You're a total bitch "

I did laugh at Frank Skinner tonight. He had Nat's sister Nicole Appleton (married to the v polite Liam Gallagher) on to interview. The conversation about Nat in the red cat suit having a camel toe.
I am also liking Popbitch. Check out the pics in this thread and gasp with amazement at the look a likey pics.... Wow. (thanks Steve)

Mistrust

My Mum's dog Lucy hates Bailey. She's so jealous. Jealous of my mum and dad picking her up and making a fuss of her. But the cat is totally unphased by the dog. She bats her with her paw as she walks past and jumps on her tail and bites it. Cats Rule ok!

Biter

Can you see her? Biting the hand that feeds her? hmph

comedy awards 2004

BBC NEWS comedy awards

The nominations are out for the British Comedy Awards 2004. Little Britain is in there as is The Office Christmas special. But FFS That most dire show of the whole year is up for three nominations "Doc Martin". DOC MARTIN!!! I wasn't even aware it was a comedy. I have NEVER watched such rubbish in my life. A rude obnoxious man, being crass and horrible to people in the village. How did this get nominated? I know Jude agrees with me....

Piss off Jamie Oliver Trin rules!

Well today I MADE beef stew and dumplings and home made bread and butter pudding. With no burning at all... Yes it was unscathed. Success on a plate. Nigella Lawson has nothing on me.
I wish my taste buds would return though because I can't tell whether it tasted ok. The kids ate it though.
I took them shoe shopping after school. £81 later we had two pairs of shoes. Abby will only wear a certain type and Danz had to copy. Sigh.... Parenthood!
At home again I had a loud knock on the door. The local shoplifter with a few bottles of shampoo and some cheese. She told me she was pregnant, then burst into tears. She's on Methadone and worried about the baby. She then asked if I had a fag she could have. She was coughing so badly I thought she was going to puke. I felt sorry for her. She's in a hole and it's gonna be a damn site harder to drag herself out of it with a baby tucked under her arm as well. She looked embarrassed at the stuff she had, she told me the money she lives on isn't enough to cover the bills let alone live. She doesn't like nicking stuff. As a person who has always worked, I had mixed views. I'm sorry but living off social is lazy. Life's not been easy for me, not at all BUT I would never live off social. I have more self respect.
I guess it takes all sorts to make a world.

Anorak: Another Favourite word story

Very Funny.

"We no doubt have the non-English speaking president of the United States to thank for the presence of 'freedom' and 'liberty' in the Top 10, both of which incidentally come in above 'peace' and 'tranquillity'.

We imagine Dubya is also responsible for "flip-flip" at No.59, and quite possibly "hodgepodge" at No.64. "Pretzel" sadly doesn't quite do enough to make the list.

But what about "fuselage" (67), "smithereens" (60) and "explosion" (66)? "

United States of Texas

How to Create a WIA -- Worthless Intelligence Agency:

"In his second term, the President intends to preside over one big, blended Family of Texas yes-folks, hawkish or neocon fundamentalists, Congressional fundamentalists, and fundamentalist fundamentalists"

He's rid the white house of all the people who are likely to leak his bloops and bushisms to the world. Filled his senior positions with friends and family.
How infinitely worrying is this?
Next year...our year of election, we have to impress on the government the need to withdraw politely from this Overseas Government of such potential Evil and corruption.

A divided nation once again North vs South. Or have I got it completely wrong?

Arrghh

Someone just came to my site after searching for Judy Finnegan's boobs! Well for that deeply disturbed person, here's a pic just for you. Now I suggest you pop upstairs pack your suitcase and check yourself into the local Hospital.
Tsk look at her...Who wears a white bra with a black dress? Mind married to that slimey prat Richard she's bound to be a bit deranged. Burn your bra Judy!

Woolly Love

Stephen's obvious obsession with sheep may stem from the way his mother dressed him as a child.

Happy Thanksgiving America!

Words

Mum's the word, says the world

Apparently we have a top 100 favourite English words. Some people really do not have enough to do!
40,000 people in 102 countries were polled and the fav word was 'Mother'
So what's your Favourite word? I can think of a few choice ones. I always liked the word effervescent but my most favourite word is in the Japanese language ;)
(not telling!)

I'm V gifted!

Grrrrr this kitten is systematically wrecking my home. She's right at this moment ripping the leaves of my best leafy plant (don't ask the name). I tried to write a letter earlier but she ran off with the pen. She tries to escape by climbing through the letterbox and she fell in the bath tonight. Ha she looked like a skinny chicken. Dreading the Christmas trimmings....She'll have them down in no time. But she's so lush and cuddly and furry. Awww. I'm a soppy cow aren't I?
BTW talking about talented cats...Clarries two cats are the worse Drama Queens I have EVER met...And they're boys!

TV round up

Corrie? Hmm personally I wanted the screechy Sunita to burn baby burn. I loved mad Maya's flashing eyes. Though have no idea how anyone could be obsessed with Dev? A Corner shop owner? Oh well least she'd have fresh cornflakes every morning.
(I went on a dating agency once... I met this Bus Driver from Lawrence Weston. Not my type but imagine...a life full of free bus travel? Dreams (eh Steve))
Eastenders? who gives a toss about Vicky Chrissy Zoe and Denny. Get a life. Anyways I hear Den (internet Smut-king) who died then returned from the dead, dies again. I also hear next Christmas he's reincarnated as Nana Moons Pussy. Can't wait.
The Bill? Finally Sam Nixons daughters been rescued from the shipping tub, and shock it turns out the criminal profiler was to blame. I don't get it? Oh well move on
Teachers? Class class. This week was religious tolerance week. I love it. Bob met his new Thai bride who took one look at him and was having none of it. Very funny bit about the neck scarf. They couldn't make out if she was a lady boy. Teachers is the best programme on TV and its made in Bristol.
Chubby Chasers? Hmmm odd programme about very fat women. Those women were very attractive. But being that big isn't good for you....Shame but we need to be sensible. Back to the gym next week.
lastly Little Britain? I love it. But I just do not get the sketch with Denis Waterman. It's just not funny. I just do not get it at all. I love Lou and Andy and ofcourse Marjorie Dawes and the ace Vicky...Whose based on a Bristolian. Little Britain is coming on tour next year and coming to the Hippodome. Shall I get us tix Clazza?

wkd wednesdays

My new toy came today. Ok so I haven't got a Kodak camera but it works with my Nikon. I bought Kodak because I trust the name. We set it up (v easy or mebbe I'm becoming a little geeky) and printed out a few pictures and wow it was really good. I'm really shocked as to how prices vary online. I got the docking system from Pixmania at a fabby £115. I have seen it for over £200. But I wanted to buy the paper and ink for it. A standard set on Pixmania was £20 but with a fiver delivery! Simply computers were £28 with free delivery. Luckily I checked my faithful Amazon and it was £14 so I bought two! (free delivery). But what a huge difference in price.
I've just been to the local supermarket! Bah I got yet another stew Pack. Ok Steve I won't be defeated just a minor set . I also had to buy a new saucepan as I don't have many. The house still smells vile of burnt vegetables. Tomorrow I'm going to burn a bread and butter pudding (reverse psychology if I say it, it won't happen)

never left out

Ok clazza and Jude see how you get on with MY quiz!!

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

I'm a failure get me out of here

Remember yesterday? I said I was going to cook today? A nice beef stew. Well I made it. All fresh Vegetables and Cubed beef. The kids love stew.
I put it on a low heat and sat on the sofa. 90 minutes later I woke up to billowing smoke this odd noise and a smell.
I'd burnt it. Very badly, it was almost on fire. There's smoke in every room. :(
I had to throw away the pan.
So now we have no dinner.
And I'm totally crap...It's official.

101 ways to embarrass your kids

Here we go again but this time the theme is topical. Yet another 'father' from the pathetic group 'Fathers 4 Justice' makes a protest Yawn.
Ooops sorry fell asleep then.
This time David Prat Pyke dresses as Santa and chains himself to Buckingham Palace because he's denied access to his 10 yr and 6 yr old.
Can anyone possible imagine why such a man wouldn't be allowed to see his kids? (or maybe they don't want to see him for some unfathomable reason)

Any Doubt?

I hate Gwen Stefani. This jumped up blonde bitch thinks she is THE rock chick. I hate her smug 'I am it' attitude. Her recent break from No Doubt came as no surprise. I think she always thought herself far superior to them anyways. But in a recent Q interview she was asked what the rest of the band thought about her leaving. She said she didn't give a damn basically. Well girlie that group gave you the platform for stardom.
Gwen is no Madonna. She hasn't the power or passion behind her music. She's a rather bad version of Courtney Love, blonde from a bottle with a super bad attitude.
I detest people who consider themselves to be far better than they really are. Gwen Stefani is a first class example.

Tuesday Trials

I wrote a long post earlier and blogger swallowed it like Jonah and the Whale. Today's been ok but I'm feeling a bit flat. A bit disconnected. Maybe me thinks this is a good thing in the long run. When I REALLY connect I seem to get into trouble!
We appear to be the only house in the street not decorated with flashing lights and sparkly bits. The kids are miffed at this but i say keep Christmas in December lest it escapes and takes over the entire year.
I had a kinda Dr appt this afternoon, which left me a bit confused and a little bit failed. Failed as a mother really. How do you get to be a really good mother?
Tomorrow I'm going to make a beef stew and bake all afternoon. Maybe that will help?
Abby has arranged to do tap classes. Means more expense with shoes and gear and lesson fees! Danz comes home most days with a note for more money. Her school is quite an enriching place though and they do a lot...Which is good.
And I don't think I can cope with my caffeine withdrawal anymore. I need caffeine and I need it now..........

well said that man!

"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practise witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians" Pat Robertson. US Politician, 1992.

My Loverly Clazza

Clarrie hasn't got the new poncho style quite right yet

FFS

Why? Why would anyone want a 2005 Diana calendar? Hey I got nothing against the woman. I liked her. But lets let her lie in peace. Let her boys have the memories. This is commercial crap. Buy a telly tubbies one instead. More colourful and less childish.

Cyber?

Hmmm I asked a friend what he thought this guy was doing? His answer? 'Something that will definitely invalidate the guarantee for the hard drive.'

What a Handsome Guy

The extremely photogenic Dubya. A rather calm looking Laura must be used to his driving (or she just used her bunnie?). I think I'm gonna nominate him for the US Queer Eye. The man needs some fashion advice.

A small Quiz

Ok you clever clogs out there. Name these characters from yesterdays kids shows.