Monday, October 04, 2004

Patheticness

I'm not having a good day. I guess it's all to do with my mouth and when you're not feeling 100% and you're unwell it's hard on your own. I wish I had someone to love me. I wish I was loveable and desireable and someone out there thought enough of me to love me.
I got so much to give and it's all wasted. I keep putting all my bets on things that are never going to happen and eventually I'll be damaged again. Everytime I get like this I worry I'm getting depressed again.
I'm going to see Clarrie in a few weeks. That will be great. Why haven't I got friends? why did they all leave me and forget me?
If only you knew how hard I try. How nice I really am. I try to be generous and giving. Maybe it will make people like me more? but I guess if there's nothing likeable then nothing will help.
I want to be slim and attractive because those people aren't alone night after night.
Thanks for listening to me, my little blog.
I'll be better tomorrow. I'm, going to bed to cry and then I'll be better.
It's all pathetic really and I'm just crap.

2 comments:

clarrie said...

babes, slim and attractive people get lonely too. Don't be an 'if only' or a 'when i'm' dieter, don't think losing weight will make you a different person, don't put your life on hold till you've lost weight. Most of all, don't put off loving yourself until you've lost weight. Love yourself and try to make the life you want for yourself. You deserve to be happy, regardless of what size you are.

Oh and read what Marla said

Stephen said...

You know you are a clever, stong, desirable and capable person who has achieved so much more than anyone who has had a straightforward, ordered life. I think you are pretty amazing to have got to where you are, against odds that would have crushed most people. So the thing you want issn't available? Are you sure that's what you want anyway? Just be true to yourself, and everything else will follow.

It's all about knowing yourself - until you have that sorted, no-one else can help, although we can all support you.

Go Trin!