Quiet Sunday

Bit Lonely today. Sunday is the family day. I hate Sundays. Also worried about tomorrow. Danielle's first day at senior school. She's so excited.
I'm sad I have no one to share these thoughts with, no-one to be worried with me or proud of her, of both of them.
I liked having them home, in between the arguments. I'll miss them not being here to talk to when I want to.
I'm working all week. Not entirely sure I'm mentally fit to be working. It worries me that I won't be able to do it and end up looking stupid and crazy to those people I need respect from the most.
Sometimes I have so much to say and share that my head wants to explode and my jaw hurts with inactivity. But then, these things can only be said to people I chose and believe me, I'm a choosy bitch.
Takes me a long time to trust people. For some rather odd reason I also prefer to talk to men. I think it must be a father thing. My mother always let my dad make the decisions and rule the roost. She sometimes still plays the hopeless woman now.
My ex husband was totally ineffective as a provider and coper. I did it all, and had to cope with the kids and him too. When your partner feels like one of the kids too, man or woman... It's time to move on. Well that's what Ms 'Trinity Dream World' says anyhow.
There's a few women I trust implicitly but they are always strong, caring types with an endless sense of humour. You need a sense of humour to be my friend. When I'm miserable, self pitying and wailing... You need to tell me to shut the fuck up. Marie usually yells at me and tells me I'm being stupid. Always works. Maybe I should get myself one of those ringtones.
'Shut the fuck up Trin'....... hmmmm.