At 11.30 am today I had my very first back massage experiance, with a nice young welsh girl called Georgie.
I wasn't sure what I was meant to do, just lie there? Make polite conversation? Try not to break wind anyways. A problem when you just ate breakfast and are lying prone.
Anyways, I had this de-stressing aromatherapy massage that's meant to make me a new woman. All my stresses will evaporate in the next 24 hours.
Well, to be exact (her words not mine). All the 'Yeuk' will excrete from my body in some form. I may sweat profusely like a marathon runner, or pee more or I may even cry a lot (hmph) This 'Yeuk' will contain all my stresses so I suggest everyone takes a wide berth from me at present in case the 'Yeuk' should shoot out like The Blob filling the streets of Bristol with toxic waste. Apparently with the 'Yeuk' I will also lose a little 'Good' Yeuk too so to avoid this I have to drink tap water in copious amounts for the next day...Oh and not wash. I mustn't wash off those oils that are even now permeating my 6 layers of skin and entering my blood stream.
Phew, I felt bloody scared. I think I'd have preferred an 'E'.
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1 comment:
Last time I went for a proper massage, ie not the nudgey winky say no more sort I more usually go in for, it was very pleasant until she decided I needed the power of the healing crystal and stuck a chunk of rock on my neck. It really is very uncomfortable lying down with a chunk of paving slab on your adam's apple.
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