"The corridors of discontent that I've been travelling
On the lonely search for truth, the world's so frightening
Nothing's going right today cos nothing ever does"
Richard Ashcroft.
I'm dipping. I thought about the D word today. I wish it would all end. I'm tired.
I'm a crap mother. My father tells me so.
I went to work at 8.30 am. The kids have a key. Danz had a set but lost them ages ago.
I forgot Abby had Orthodontist.
She went this afternoon....... With the keys.
I didn't get back until 3.30 pm. Danz was outside crying. It was raining, well snowing actually.She'd rang her grandfather to see if he'd come let her in.
He arrived at the same time I did. He went berserk She stood there watching as he ripped into me about what a stupid crap mother I was... On and on.
He left.
I'm never going to his house again.
She was silent and went to her room and cried.
I sat there contemplating D. Then I called her. She sobbed.
She's been bullied today. A girl shoved her into a wall and called her a "Stupid Whore Bitch"
A group of girls she's had issues with. Nasty mouthy ones with no compassion.
She said Lauren and Natalie were really nice to her and helped her.
Thanks Girls. I appreciate your kindness.
I'm not sending her to school tomorrow. I want it sorted. I'm not sending her to have that happen to her.
See? I am an ok Mum... Honest I am. I do try.
I forget stuff. I work I get shopping, I have rainbows tonight...Thinking Day. I have so much running through my head. I can't cope with it all. It's always me. Never anyone to share the load. Always mememememememeemememmeee.
You know I STILL haven't had a letter from the benefits office. STILL.
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4 comments:
Chin up chicken and you are NOT a bad mutha.
Calm down flaps. I once dropped my two off at a club in the next village which had been cancelled. They were 8 at the time. Didn't think to check. Fortunately someone who knows us phoned or they'd have hung around in the cold for an hour and a half. Lost one at Victoria station once too. If a brilliant father and genius like me can do it...
PS Why not hide a spare key somewhere?, you've got a back garden. You see, I am a genius!
My ex was always losing Danielle. Big time losing her too. Hopeless
Thanks Natalie, I do appreciate you looking out for her. But I worry about what will happen when you all leave.... you reckon year 10 are nice?
Bullying is horrible and once you get in the cycle it's hard to break free. You prob saw that with your sister.
I am keeping her home tomorrow though. She's a bit upset after the whole day.
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