SocietyGuardian.co.uk Society Strangers in our midst: "Why can't that trend be replicated here? Partly because parents are confused over talking to children about sex. Even liberals shrink from seeing the last bond to childhood severed. But the far greater problem is public hysteria. Forget teen magazines, repellent as some may be, and too much eyeshadow. What damages teenagers is an adult world which caricatures them as vain, promiscuous, stupid and venal. Endless disapproval from those who think social behaviour almost as noxious as the antisocial kind inevitably makes young people too frightened to seek advice. "
Who are we to proclaim them all 'children' because they are under 16. Each individual teenager should be treated just as that...An individual with thoughts and needs and their own minds.
The issue with the 12 year old and under age sex? Well yes it was very wrong but I have more of an issue with the Judge, his comments and attitude to previous cases and allowing such individuals like Michael Barrett to go free with little consequence. This wasn't a case of two people falling in love and wanting to be with one another. He knew what he wanted and went for it. And maybe if someone had done something about the pervert Ian Huntley ages ago those two little girls might still be with us.
I have a drawer upstairs full of condoms. My kids know where it is and know they can take them without question. I am realist. I hold no assumptions or fairy tale beliefs that sex is for over 16's when in a stable relationship. But I educate and I talk about it. They know they can ask me anything and if they feel they can't...I have books. I hope they feel I am totally approachable BUT I also know in my heart of hearts they won't tell me. Because I'm their mum, and sadly as with my generation and generations to come. You don't tell your mum everything.
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people get into such daily-mail-esque hysterics about 'underage sex'.
The legal 'age of consent' varies alot from country to country. Some countries allow 12-16 year olds to get up to naughtiness with each other, but adults aren't allowed to sleep with anyone under 16, which seems like a good system to me.
And as for 'stranger danger', don't get me started! The place most kids are most likely to get abused or killed is at home, by a relative or close family friend. Not that you'd know it from most media coverage.
We have to teach our kids to be confident and positive and knowing that they have full rights over their bodies, and the right to say yes or no. Skills and confidence that will help them deal with overtures of abuse, and also hopefully help them find their way thro the hormone hell that is being a teenager.
I think you're making a great job of bringing up your girls, Trin :)
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