nightmares

I woke up in a panic. I had yet another dream about the girl who used to be my best friend and soul mate 5 years ago.
She'd phoned me and I remember being touched and emotional and hopeful that she'd be my friend again.
Then I'd asked her if she wanted to meet, go out for a drink or something and she turned me down flat. She was cold and impersonal and I was hurt again.
She dropped me when the kids father walked out on us. She didn't seem to understand anything and said I was manipulative and a bad person. She called me attention seeking.
Then she used to invite him round and tell him stuff about me.... Ammo for him. He was trying to take the kids off me.
I've had dreams where she's chasing me.
However I do want to make my peace with her, I wrote her a long letter last Christmas but she ignored it.
Something else to work through with a counsellor I guess.
We did everything together, everything. I shall never let anyone get that close again (except my Collette, but she's not human. She's an angel)