Got up hugely early to see the girls off. The sky was full of pretty balloons from the balloon festival. Bailey thought War of the Worlds had commenced. She was terrified, shaking and trying to hide. The big balloons were coming for her!! poor love.
I hadn't slept at all. I was so anxious about them going. I was going to go back to bed but then work rang... desperate, no staff.I couldn't say no. So I went in.
Back home later, I'm missing the kids. I hate it. I feel lost and worried and tearful. If I could go get them I would.
It's BB eviction night. I feel flat without the girls.
We would have all sat around and enjoyed it.
Now I can't share it. Maybe it isn't worth sharing anyways.
I have no idea why (if you read this) you do. I'm so unhappy atm. I don't know what to do. Life isn't worth living. There are moments when I'm ok but then the quiet times and realisation that I'm so very unhappy.
I feel so alone in this. Only I can get through it, but I'm tired of it.It's been so long. Two steps forward one step back.
I feel so helpless and pathetic and just so alone.
If only I wasn't alone. I had someone to stay with me, never leave me. To catch me. But they don't exist. All there is, is TV and imaginary friends and the cats.
And work and tablets. Lots of rows of tablets what make me swell up and vomit and feel faint and make me tired and give me pins and needles and upset tummies.
Excuse me whilst I go cry a lot , then I'll feel better.
Move on guys. Trin isn't right this week.
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2 comments:
Ah, but you see, there are people out there on t'interweb who will share..
Yes hunnybun. We may not be there in person but we're here on the net thinking of you and wishing you all the luck and love in the world. xxx
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