Calmer. Wish more than ever that I had someone on my side to talk this through with. It's 11pm and I'm starting to liven up. FFS! I've vacuumed and done some HW. Sat in the garden in candle light drinking tea. That was nice.
Work tomorrow. I haven't been there for a month. It'll be ok. I just worry that I won't be effective and good enough.
Really honestly do feel alone tonight, this isn't drugs. I really am very alone.
I'm not in a self pitying mood though, I'm not going to get upset... Bloody hell. I got enough upset today to last a whole year.
Hope I don't cry in work tomorrow. I HATE it when I allow my personal shit to overflow into work space. But I fear that a few caring words and people glad to see me may just finish me. Damn I could do with a hug and someone to say...It's all going to be ok.
I fear people are fed up with me, if you are, I'm sorry. In my defence I use Oil of Olay 24 hour facial wipes every day and clean knickers. (I refuse to say what I use the knickers for, a lady has to have some secrets)
I'm only human.... as the Human League would sing. Damn I miss The Human League.
I'm only human
Of flesh and blood I'm made
Human
Born to make mistakes
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New York, ice cream, T.V. travel....
Good times.
"These are the things...... :)"
*hugs* and it IS all going to be ok :) I know it's not the same but it's a start. :-*
Work will take your mind of things too. Too long without something to occupy your mind.
(I do think your doctors are absolutely clueless though. Is there no complaints / monitoring / standards people about? Surely there has to be a safety net somwewhere to look out for people? Are these know-nothings really all there is?)?
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