Sunny-Day

The sunny weather is making me feel better....Sort of... Then why tonight do I feel really pissed off?
I'm bleeding again. I never filled the prescription for those evil Hormone tablets. I take enough pills already. But I am very tired and heady. Saying that though we had a full day, washed the car, mowed the lawn, housework ironing and gardening. An amazing amount of stuff. But I slept in between everything. Danz had fun in Creally but the scouting mini bus broke down , luckily she was on the coach. The mini bus was full of little Rainbows. What a nightmare for them.
Any kind of interaction with my Ex Husband unsettles me. He phoned to say he'd probably buy Abby the new Harry Potter book Saturday. But she doesn't trust him and was desperate so bought it herself. He never rang so she called him today, the feisty 15 year old. Nope he hadn't bought it for her, apparently he couldn't find it. She asked where he'd looked and he said Martin's The Newsagent. A tiny newspaper confectionery shop at the end of his road. Twat.
Then he said that he couldn't talk to her because he had all his family around. It was his brother's little girl's 4th Birthday and they were having a party for her. All HIS family? Ummm are they not all Abby's family too? Abby loves her cousins and her paternal grandfather and his GF. She is always moaning that she never sees them. Well, she came off the phone in floods of tears. That man has absolutely no idea how to interact, treat or understand either of his kids.
All HIS family? I could cry, honestly I could. Aren't my girls HIS family? Why aren't they the most important people in the whole world to him?
Damn it I know Abby isn't easy. I live with her, but she's just a child, a child whose had much of her childhood taken away and will never get it back.
Everytime he makes her cry my heart bleeds and feel I have to work harder, give more and do more to make it up. Maybe that's why I feel sad today. You see I'm tired of it really but what choice do I have?