I'm a baker!

Yes, I made bread. I didn't burn it. It's hard on the outside and soft inside. A success I say. Nic said it was delicious and ate 2 pieces (hope she's not sick in the night). I'm very proud of this mammoth achievement. Now Clarrie can come for tea (I said tea Mrs Doyle hahahahhahahaha)

Mary-kate and Ashley Shag Collection

it's not what you think.....:

"Mary-Kate and Ashley Shag Collection"

Nichole tells me in America Shag just means rug. Oh dear...
Thanx to popbitch.

My the force be with your lawn this summer

Darth Vader Sprinkler, let DV pee on your lawn:


"Let the Dark Side defend your lawn from the ravages of summer heat or cool you off on a hot day with this Darth Vader sprinkler! Standing 10' tall, this great new Vader sprinkler spins around with water spraying action, wielding his lightsaber in a furious battle to save your lawn! Let Darth Vader be the center of your backyard universe today with this very cool garden accessory"

Confused Cops Swarm Woman After Birth

nice kind american officers help mum after birth...... right

So let me get this straight...after the cops try to pull the woman who'd given birth in the drivers seat out by gun point (they seemed to think the car was stolen for some bizarre reason).
They finally realised that she'd just given birth. She had two small girls asleep on the back seat. A newly born baby on her tummy. Naked and bloody from the waist down. Umbilical cord still attached.. so they WAVE her on to continue driving one handed to the hospital????
FFS you get arrested here for holding a fecking apple whilst driving.

footnote

"Officers sent Ms Coleman on and let the hospital know she was coming"

Oh Vindication. They let the hospital know she was coming. Wasn't that kind of them!!

CNN.com - Terri Schiavo has died

CNN.com - Schindlers lose last 'meaningful legal appeal' - Mar 31, 2005:

Terri Schiavo has died CNN has announced. She's been without food or water since March 18th. As a nurse I couldn't have possibly worked in this case. I'm sorry but dying though dehydration is a truly awful way to go.
We wouldn't let our pets suffer in such a way. What ever your feelings on this case Terri had to be the most important person involved and I'm not sure she was treated as such from what I've read. At peace now. Let's hope her family can now heal. But somehow I doubt they'll ever get over it.

Bread Machine Manual

Bread Machine Manual

What to do if your manual is missing!
Oh deep joy. I love the internet. Maybe today we can make fresh bread together. Smell the aroma as it permeates the atmosphere. Slice through the soft springy texture and spread love and goodness over it's body.
Can't wait

(not sure if I'm a hillbilly HW though eeek)

The Latest on the Male bundle of fun

The Bulge Report: The Latest on the Male Package:

"'Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.' "
(profound)

The Bulge report. My new favourite web site.

White?



Other essential scrotal news. Argument rages on.
To restore your foreskin or not?
To stretch or not to stretch that is the question.

Dr Who?

After reading Popbitch I remembered that I hate that Chris Ecclestone who plays Dr Who.
I've never liked him in drama. He's too up himself completely. Thinks he's far superior to the rest of the plebs and is only doing one series of Dr Who. What's the point in that?
Hmmm Makes watching it all the more difficult. Silly sod. Bring back Jon Pertwee. He was my fav one.

Forget Disney.... take the kids to Holyland

Slay Goliath, sail the Ark , it will be a hell of a ride at Holyland - Britain - Times Online

So mark 2008 on your online diarys. Holyland promises to be a the religious ride of your life. All the usual fun and games but with God's hallmark. Quality.

A day with the teens

Abby invited Nic over for the day and to sleepover...God help me!! A day with crazy teens. TBH they've been quite quiet. They spent at least three hours straightening their hair. It was so bad at one point that the front room steamed up and I had to warn them that their hair may fall out if they weren't careful.
Then they made dinner, and ate it. Then they went to see Miss Congeniality two. Nic was only scared at one point (omg they're seeing The Ring 2 tomm) how can you be scared of Miss Congealed?
Then we took Danz to my sister's and had a guided tour of the show home. My sister has a massive brand new kitchen with Huge American ladder fridge that dispenses not only ice...But ice cubes and crushed ice. Plus drinks on tap. She has a massive black and white bathroom with walk in shower for about 10 and huge bath with spa jacuzzi and lights.
Then they insisted they wanted Chinese. So we got Chinese. I spotted a man with a huge saveloy. I haven't tasted one of those so I asked him if his sausage was tasty and the girls collapsed giggling behind me.
Now we're watching the news. Apparently the Pope isn't too well. Nic said she thinks the Pope is attention seeking. Interesting theory.
I'm pissed because I couldn't make bread because I need strong flour apparently and the local co-op don't sell it.
Oh and I feel a bit better than I did earlier because a girl from work rang me and we had a damn good bitch about the place and she feels the same way as me. So it's not me being stressy and loopy. It's fact!

Gravity

Honey, It's been a long time coming
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear that sound?
Coz I can't stop thinking
And I don't look down
And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone, on everyone
Embrace 2004

A bun in the Oven

Oh how true. After a minor freaky zone hour this morning when I had to go back to bed and hide under the covers for fear of little white men taking me away. I'm now perfectly sane and about to make some fresh bread.
Anyone want to come for tea?

Celine Dion perfume

now celine copies Cliffy and has perfume:


"NEW YORK (AP) - Celine Dion reminds fans that she's a wife, mother - and confident woman - with her new perfume, Belong."

So I guess it smells like dirty nappies, domestos loo cleaner and gym sweat?
I have always believed that the frankly obnoxious Celine is indeed the Anti-Christ. Her excrutiating teeth pulling screeching is one of life's great horrors. I'd rather smell like a dead badger than her 'Belong'

The door is barricaded

Oh My God. I just had a freak out on the phone. I tried to get some Life Insurance. I guess after my Nan died I felt a bit insecure about me and the girls. So I took out this 10 quid a month policy for life cover. Well all was going well and I had a letter to say they'd accepted me. Then I get a call from some woman who worked for a private health company saying she wanted to come to my house to do a medical on me. I freaked. I was immediately insecure, unsafe. No way I couldn't let some stranger come here. Examine me? OMG no. I'm afraid I think I sounded slightly crazy on the phone. I was taken by surprise. Then I phoned the insurance company and told them to stuff their policy. I wasn't interested. They must have thought I was well freaky.

Papal Laughter

The Pope. Fueled with jealousy at the most photographed squirrel in the world, tries his hand at competing. Nice bridal dress your eminence.But squirrels was lacier.

Sugar Bush Squirrel

Sugar Bush Squirrel-Supermodel the world's most photographed squirrel

Mouth wide open with horror. Poor little wildlife thing. She should be out climbing some tree, collecting nuts. Biting kids who try to pick her up. But wait...you can buy pictures of her in her various outfits and there's even a picture of her with Dubya!
(nauseous feeling washes over me and I go to lie down)

A quick round up of Tuesday

• The damn rain drove me nuts. Bailey hates it and looked at me like it was my fault. Funny seeing her check out both front and back doors to see if it was raining back and front of the house.
• People kept turning up at work unexpected. Then expected me to deal with their problems super snappy. I don't do super snappy
• Everyone was miserable...Maybe the weather? Maybe too much chocolate who the fuck knows!
• I had to turn the central heating back on after I'd switched it off for the summer (scrooge trin)
• Abby never told me someone had phoned leaving me to assume they hadn't for hours.
• Clarrie text...She's home tomorrow. Hooray!
• RT called. We're taking Nic out tomorrow. RT still likes me :)
• I missed Holby City. Now my nursing will be compromised this week.
• I'm most miffed at the Vile Gwen Stefani gracing the front of my NME
• Thanks RT now Abby wants an MP3 player for her Birthday!! We had a mammoth discussion on how free downloading was theft and why it was immoral to do it... But that also file sharing across the net had some benefits to the artist by spreading the music. Now she's confused :/
• I nearly crashed the car. Some twat pulled out on me in the pouring rain. I wasn't speeding but I didn't stop in time. Luckily he did or I'd be in the BRI now. FFS!
• watching BBC1 life of a heroin addict. Dreadful life.
• night xxx

Fame

Tonight me and the girls went to see Fame At the Hippodrome. Something the girls had been looking forward to for ages and yes, they did essentially enjoy it.
We got soaking wet walking to the centre from the car park. The heaven's opened and stupid girls never brought a coat (they aren't babies anymore!) The theatre was essentially packed apart from the row infront of us which was weirdly empty. Behind me sat a full row of regular show watchers who discussed at length what they'd seen last and what they were seeing next. Next to me sat a mother and two little girls. The slightly older one was ok but the young one was a pain in the neck. She moved seats about 20 times. Sat on her mums lap, got off sat on again and not once did the woman tell her to sit still. The show fanatics behind kept clucking in disgust and making noises of disapproval.
The show was quite superficial. Not once did we get to know any of the characters in order to symathise or identify with them. The girl who played Carmen was most annoying and loud with this false hysterical spanish/ NY accent. Right at the end we found out she'd topped herself with heroin. Thank God for that I thought.
The dancing was lively, but it lacked colour and vibrancy and the sheer wow of many other shows I've seen. But it was an enjoyable enough night out and Danz especially loved it.
My hip hurt for the entire 2nd half. I know it was from the damn car accident. I certainly know that I'd never manage flying to the states in economy...I'd be in agony. The seat in the Hippodrome are not made for comfort and although only 5ft 5 My legs were squashed. I have no idea how tall men fare.
At the end we all got up and danced and that was the best bit. Ended on a feel good high.
Abby says she wants to see Chicago... I've seen it on stage once. Never again. I have never been quite so bored.
I like stuff like Les Mis, Joseph, West Side Story and Footloose was pretty good. I like something I can have a good cry to. 'There's a place for us......'

Isn't this sad?

danz is upset
Aren't kids horrible? Thanks to Keith for replying to her.

Other kids news. Abby made me a lush cheese and pineapple toasted sandwich today.

I can't get my comments box to work (grrrr blogger) but I did laugh at Laphroaig's comments to my self pitying friends post below. Truth is my mates would probably prefer a nice old bottle of whiskey to me anyday!! ;P

Peekaboo Pole Dance Game

Peekaboo Pole Dance Game, Gifts for women and gifts for girls from Girls stuff

I want the peek a Boo Pole dance game! it's my birthday in a few days too!! Looks so much more fun than Monopoly...even if it is the Bristol edition. (or simpsons)

on the other hand!

debbie does the pole:


" Silver disco balls spin red lip-shaped lights around the room and Britney Spears' 'Oops I did it again' blares as Debbie gives herself a cheeky slap on the left buttock.
In school uniform, suspenders and high heels, she struts confidently around the pole, hooks her leg around it and swings to the ground before rippling back up. Flicking her long hair aside, she pauses to glance over her shoulder at the audience.
But contrary to appearances, Debbie is no pole pro. She's a 42-year-old married banker in London who has just completed a six-week beginners' course in pole dancing at My Pole Dance School in London.
She is one of growing numbers of urban British women -- from bankers and accountants to charity workers and housewives -- who are using poles to get fit and get sexy."

GO Debbie. So Clazza does Belly Dancing maybe Trin should do a turn on the pole? Hmmm

Russian Scientists Suggest Caning to Cure Depression

Russian Scientists kinky?:


"Scientists claim that drug addiction, alcoholism, suicidal behavior and psychosomatic disorders are all caused by a lack of zest for life. When a patient is caned, the body starts producing endorphins , happiness hormones , and life seems attractive again. "

If only it were that easy. I actually think russian scientists are a tad kinky TBH.

Well guess the last two weeks high have gone today. I'm quite flat or maybe not. Maybe I'm just normal as I don't feel weepy or sad.
My ex finally brought over the camcorder tapes Abby wanted and she spent hours watching them and laughing. Abby looked sadly at our once family home and said she missed it living there and our old life, which made me feel like shit.
I sat there for a while. I watched Christmas's when the kids were little, I watched parties, holidays and times with friends. I watched my (then) best friend and her kids and husband laughing and chatting and I was enveloped in this terrible sense of loss for those days. If only you could have seen me, vibrant and popular and happy.
Whatever happened to make me this way?
We wet to the gym today for 1/2 hour and that's about it. Spent the day indoors and quiet. I guess I need days like that. Abby's been quite sweet really. She called me a silly goose earlier...she's a nutcase as well.
There's several large easter eggs floating around that I must have bought then forgot and bought more.
Tsk we can't eat them. I want to get fit. I've lost the ability to make myself feel good. But I remember that exercising really gave me a huge buzz. So... I'm going to start gymming it most days.
You don't have to talk to anyone at the gym either, keep your eyes firmly fixed on the ground and no-one will try to talk to you. It's better that I don't make friends. I don't think I'm a suitable friend for anyone.
Oh well back to work tomorrow. That'll keep me occupied.
 

The Laptop Legs

The Laptop Legs/Mac Feet

I don't get this at all. If it's too hot why not just put it on a table or desk. And if it's true that the internal heat will eventaully make the screen freeze and pc crash...then why make lappys in the first place? And why pay all that cash for a bit of metal on a sticky pad? Hmmmm curious.

How to tell if your neighbor is crazy?

An essential new book all people with neighbours need:

"How to tell if your neighbor is crazy"

An essential book particularly if you live next door to Dolores in Newark.

Letters to the editor. The lovely Dolores from Newark NJ.

Letters - The Advocate - www.newarkadvocate.com:

"This is the time people enjoy their yards and plant their gardens with high hopes for a beautiful environment. But my hopes get dashed every year because of cats -- no less than five at a time, running through the flowers, the garden and shrubbery as well as onto my car, porch and porch furniture.
Even more disturbing are their victims -- the birds and bunnies they kill and discard for me to pick up. I have watched them marking their territories from my window. I know how they will flatten the flower beds and garden, crouching in wait, and leave excrement where I will be working with the soil.
I take pride in yardwork and enjoy it immensely, only to find someone's cat is destroying it. I'm not blaming the cats. However, I do blame their owners for not assuming some responsibility to control them (note have you ever tried to control a cat?) and have respect for another's property. It is not my responsibility to purchase cages to protect what I have. I cannot even leave the garage doors open to walk away for a minute, and I do not appreciate the scratches on my vehicle and the cat hairs on the porch furniture. (you must have comfy porch furniture take it as a cat compliment)
I appreciate animals, and that includes the small wildlife on my premises. But if I wanted a cat, I would buy one. I also appreciate the love pet owners have for their animals, but I would hope that others should not be subjected to their domains and the damage they can cause.
If you live in the neighborhood of Hudson Avenue, or any other neighborhood for that matter, please control your cat. That's what dog owners are required to do."

GET A FECKING LIFE DOLORES! OR BETTER STILL GET A PUSSY.

need clothes to compliment your iPod?

PodShirt . shuffle integrated apparel

I must have one!

Blah

OMG and it's Easter Sunday.
The most religious day in the calendar. The shops are closed and we should all be praying for forgiveness.
I cooked today for Abby. Just some pasta stuff and meat. She sat eating it with a 'WTF is this?' look on her face. I give up. I'm not cooking again on a weekend. I thought it was quite nice tbh. I posted this picture to make myself laugh as I'm feeling a bit down. Ignore me guys. It will pass.
I took my tablets last night and found out I'd run out of 150mg's but had two strips of 75's (I'm meant to take one of each so it should be equal) so wtf I've been doing all week God knows. I'm better off at work. I can focus there and just play the game. Maybe I should move into the overnight room permanently.

I try

But PPL don't like Trin.

Abz and Nic

Two young ladies looking gorgeous partying the night away (God help the men of the world)

My Bunnie!

Happy Easter from the Easter Bailey

Catz

My sister has a cat called Ronnie who is Taylors brother. Last night they were woken by a commotion in the kitchen and went down to discover a present from Ronnie. A Bat! Alive too. OMG I thought the Slow-worms were the worst ever but if they ever brought me a bat!

tsk sex striking not allowed in the USA

MSNBC - Italian wins in court after husband's 'sex strike':


"But the highest court ruled that Francesco's sexual punishment did not fit the crime, and doomed Piera to perpetual frustration.
'The refusal of affection or sexual attention must constitute the blame for the separation,' the court ruled.
For Piera, 'satisfaction in life (was) impossible ... along with fulfillment of marriage in its deepest sense.' Beyond support payments, Francesco must pay court costs of several thousand euros. "

What if you go off them and don't fancy them anymore?

So hard being a teen

:

"AN OHIO teen was severely traumatized after discovering the stars of a downloaded porno flick were none other than his own parents.

Timmy Shannon, 17, recalls the moment that scarred him for life. 'I was like five minutes into this porno called Horny House Wives 4, when I thought to myself, 'Hey, that couch looks exactly like the one I'm sitting on. Oh crap, it is!' I remember the horror overcoming me when I realized the woman bent over that couch was my mother, and the guy giving it to her was my father. I instantly pulled my pants back up and vomited.'

Timmy's parents, 'Captain Throbberson' and 'Gina Jiggles,' as they were credited in the film, believe that their son needs to grow up and get over it. "

(giggle)

How to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex - eHow.com

How to Make Yourself Irresistible to the Opposite Sex - eHow.com

eHow how to do everything on one easy site. Never be lost for help again.

Easter 2005

Yesterday we collected Nic and went gymming!! Hooray I started exercising again. Makes me feel good if only I can muster up the effort to actually go. (you know guys if you wear white swim trunks they go transparent when wet)
After some lengths and a jacuzzi and sauna I was a new woman and we showered and changed and went to Nichole's Birthday party.
An honour to be invited to. Special isn't it? Being 16.
RT always says Nic isn't sweet but she is so lovely and adorable. Her face just shone with happiness all day. I made her a punch and we had Mexican food which I could eat again right now.
I put make up on all the women in the house, then we went home.... And took Nic with us to finish her birthday with a mammoth DVD watching session. She made me laugh though because they watched The Ring first and half way through the night she had to get in bed with Abby because she was so scared Samara was going to get her..Ha
I'm a bit peeved with Abby today though. When she has mates to stay she turfs Danz out of her room as her room is tiny. But last night they were watching DVD's in Abbys room and Danz got tired so fell asleep in her own bed. 2am she kicks Danz out of her very own bed and she got in with me. Now this morning she refuses to make Danz's bed because she didn't make it untidy. FFS she kicked the poor little kid out at 2am. Bloody teenagers.
I took some cool fun pix for you all but as Trin does, I lost the data lead to the Nikon so it'll have to wait till I find it again.
Hopeless.
Gonna chill today and see what happens
And I'm going to go with the flow for the next few months. See what happens. No fuss, no expectations What will be will be.
Hugs
xxx

Happy Easter From Fluffy

80s Commercials USA

X-Entertainment's Download Center - Watch Hundreds of 80s Commercials, FREE!

Easter Sunday. The most religious Day in the calendar. The shops are closed, petrol stations close, cinemas close. Unless you're gonna pray all day or watch The Two Ronnie's, your going to be bored. So Trin gives you something to do. Check out the funny often hilarious 80's commercials. Seeped in nosalgia and total crap.
Enjoy.

The Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker!

X-Entertainment: The Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker!

My Easter would be complete if I could make a little peep.

Where the Christians Meet

Where Christians Meet - Meet Real Christian Singles - Christians Only Network of Singles:


"If you're interested in meeting and dating quality christian singles - then we are your perfect choice. Our members are intelligent, attractive
professionals in search of meaningful relationships. "

So let me get this straight. If you're Xtian you're more likely to be a 'quality' single?

Check out the Genesis Quote at the top. They just want sex like the rest of us!!
'And they will become one flesh'
Hmmmmm.

And they do it EVERY year!

Crazy Phillipinos nail themselves to crosses on Good Friday

On a dusty hill, with the crowd pressing round, 11 men had themselves nailed to crosses in imitation of Christ's suffering. The nails hammered into their hands and feet were as thick as pencils.


"I feel lighter after I have been nailed to the cross. But my cross was really heavy," said Ruben Enage, who started 19 years ago after his mother was cured of tuberculosis.


"It takes a lot of courage to get up there," said Matthew James, an American in the Philippines on business. "A lot of faith there."

A lot of Faith? A lot of fecking nutters!

Beware of the water it's wet

The law speaks

Florida Supreme court rules that places that make their beaches attractive to swimmers ie: clean up trash and sell ice-cream must make sure that the general public know there's danger in them waves.
Things like...

• Water isn't good in lungs and you may die
• Swimmy things with teeth and stings live in water.
• Surfs goes in and out.
• Get wet and lightening may strike you!

Are the Floridonians that thick....(remembers the election) Ah Yes.

APC ... Arlington Paedophil Center?

What on earth were they thinking?

I am completely stumped as to what on earth the hospital that chose this logo was trying to say? It's just awful.

I really like Screenhead. It's humour is cutting and bitterly sarcastic...I love it. There's some very funny and very very controversial stuff on Terri Schiavo, this isn't the worse bit...you need to look back through the archives...Funny but I can't blog it. Wow it's too dirty but v v funny to those with a wicked bad sense of humour like Trin...bad trin.

IFILM - Short Films:

IFILM - Short Films: Cobra Island Rave with He-Man and Lion-O

If you havent yet explored IFILM you really should. There's some gems in there and it's fun. I picked this one out as I always found the era of kids cartoons in the mid 80's weird. The era of She-Ra, He-Man, Thundercats, Transformers. The steady influence of the Japanese Anime. In this short film many of those characters meet for a bit of a rave. Quite funny but watch the backgrounds for many of your fav characters pop up or down from time to time.

Play.com (UK) : Quatermass:

Play.com (UK) : Quatermass: Complete Collection : DVD - Free Delivery

I loved Quatermass back in it's day. I liked it more than Doctor Who. The three disc box set comes out next week. I'd really like to see it again...I'll wait till the sales though ;)

FFS!

Good Friday. I'm sat here with the two Feckin' Ronnies on TV. Bloody 1970's crap. Why do they wheel out archaic material for a bank Holiday?
Someone's been on this site searching for David Sneddon's Tonsils The weird and wonderful World Wide Web.
I went to my Nan's house for dinner today. Mum and Dad were there and they'd got the traditional Fish and Chips for dinner.
I was perfectly fine. Felt quite good actually. Make up on, hair done. Sun was shining. But as I walked in the house I was suddenly consumed by this awful grief for my Nan. Last year she'd cooked fish and chips. I was really pissy because she'd broken with tradition. I hate bloody oven chips. Actually we don't eat many chips. None of us like them. Prefer pasta as a carb source than potatoes.
I remember being really sullen and ungrateful about the whole thing. This came back to me bitterly today. That, she wasn't there today. That I'd ever been mean and spoilt. And I started to cry. Everyone sat and looked at me. Like I was some alien. At first I don't think they knew why I was crying, then it dawned why and they just resumed eating and ignored me. I choked back my tears and carried on but I felt like crying for ever. I guess that's just normal.
Then we shopped, spent money on the kids. Luckily the shop Select had a sale on. Seem to have bought loads for Nic's birthday, but it was all sale's stuff. Clothes reduced to £3 from £20 then also buy one get one half price so I got tops for £1.50. How I love a bargain.
The kid's father just knocked on the door. He brought round a computer programme for Abby and spent ages telling me I needed a firelead to run it. Can someone email me and tell me what he's on about? He also told me I needed to type in a code blah blah blah. Run this save that. FFS I am computer literate. However I'm not so sure he is.
He gave the girls a fiver each for Easter. Abby was V ungracious and I had to nudge her to be nice. But part of me thinks of all the cash I spent on them today. They both needed new trainers and tops. I got a lot of it in the sale. Danz's trainers were only 8 quid but his fiver seemed so petty and small. I guess I should be grateful he gave anything. But his fatherhood attempt is so damn easy. Dish out a fiver and forget them over Easter. He didn't even ask to see Danz.
Oh and he was driving a brand spanking new car. Big family thing. Abby said nice car and he said not mine. Same old answer. He meant it was his GF's.... riight. That really means it is his car but he won't admit it for fear we think he's got more money.
Jerk.

• Hmmm I'm tired.
• I'm worried about Collette
• I want to talk to my mate who cut me short this morning. Just wanted to tell stuff but couldn't
• I just burnt a CD for the very first time way hey!!
• I want to drink red wine but not alone. All I'll do is cry.
• I'm jealous of RT who got mates staying O/N I want mates that stay O/N.
• I deleted my other blog today as after I wrote stuff I didn't want it sitting there. A bit like harping on about it.
• Next door continue to argue so badly that I may have to do something eventually.
• I wanted at least one Easter card.
• I did get a really pretty candle from RT though, thanx Hun
• Neither pc is working well. Lappy won't connect to the Nokia and this thing is just total crap. I need more memory ASAP
• I want sex
• I'd make do with a hug though

I did buy Embrace today. That Gravity song has raced through my head for 48 hours. I give in and bought the album. I downloaded Rufus Wainwright from ITunes. I highly recommend The Kaiser Chiefs CD. I want The new Beautiful South one but sodding ITunes don't do it... Need to go to Virgin I guess.

Got to go look for the Kitten, she's escaped. She likes the dark... Damn thing will get eaten by a fox if she stays out. Have a good evening and stay cool

xxx

Father's For Justice have adopted a new mascot. BatDog. Poor little thing won't climb up tall buildings though, not because he's a wimp but because even a dog has more sense than those morons. 

OMG she looks about 18

My Teen.
We went shopping and she bought the shortest skirt she could find. Knee high boots and a skimpy top....just incase she gets invited out.
Then she gets a phone call for a Matt? who says he thinks she's hot.
She wants to spend the day in Funderworld Monday and I'm damn sure she's not wearing that outfit.
Don't want her running away with no Carny guy! You know the surly sort. Swing you round in the waltzers. Set your heart a beating, an extra shove on the water splash ride so you get a wet tee-shirt.
Ah those were the days!!

Maundy Thursday

Work was pretty heavy going yesterday. We saw 15 patients in a slot for six maximum. The docs were quite happy though, probably because most of them have the whole four days off over Easter weekend.
We had one girl in who hates hospitals and was so unhappy and sullen when she arrived. Couldn't have that now could I? Everyone is happy on my shift or else. By the time she left she said it had been an education. She's 16 and she over heard us discussing one of the staff (not a nurse) who does lap dancing for spare cash after work. This girl is a minger, never looks clean and is as thick as shit. God knows why any man would pay to see her ass wrapped round some pole. One of the Docs said it would take a pretty hefty pole and we couldn't stop laughing. This Doc spent most of the day with us and worked so hard. Ace doctor, really fun guy. Lush with the kids. Then I caught him snogging my fellow staff Nurse in secret. What a great shift. Think she's falling for him because after he left she pinned like a lost puppy for ages. (No Angels or what).
Breaks were scarce though and I was glad to leave at 8pm. The whole weekend off!!
On the way home I had a call from RT inviting me in for wine. I made her cook me something whilst I flirted with her husband (as you do)
Abby and Nic went to the Good Charlotte Concert with Danika. They all got on really well so I was pleased. Danika and Nic didn't stop chatting.
They didn't get back till 11.30. Full of fun and life. As it should be, Teens should live, love, have fun and learn all about life. Go to rock gigs, experiment a little in various vices and argue with their parents.
They should be able to look back and think wow that time of my life was good. Remember that.
I spoke to Collette today. I'm here for you girl. My arms and my house are open to you anytime and we all love you.
Anyways I'm off to get dressed and get fish and chips for dinner. It's good Friday and traditional in our house.
Hugs and kisses to all I love (particularly the men, you know who you are xxxxxxx ;)

Marshmallow Pussy

Marshmallow Pussy

Crikey a marshmallow Pussy. One day one of these toys is going to beat the real thing.... (you reckon? NAH!)

I think Collette's doggie Bramble is fairly safe (though he looks a bit like this doggy) BUT no-one show the Red Toaster this get up or her new Doggie will be in for it!! (Wonder if Jude's Doggies wear anything this glam?) 

Multiple personality Tooth on eBay?

Multiple personality Tooth Bizarre Weird Spooky

Who would buy someone else's tooth? And WTF is a multi personality tooth? EBay the weird and weirder.

Living next door to Alice

Alice Cooper maybe? Tonight I had to work, so the kids have been here alone. I had quite a few frantic phone calls from Abby. Next door have been arguing again..Badly. She heard the man of the house yelling at the kids and his missus, swearing and banging doors, fighting and screaming. And it scared her. She finds it hard to forget that her dad attacked me once and beat me up in front of her. Kicked me and punched me and told them that he was taking them away from me and they'd never see "That mad bitch ever again"
She stayed with a friend once and in the night her parents had a humdinger of an argument and she got hysterical and had to come home.
So next door's fight club scares her. She frets about the kids in there, she can't relax. Typically I'm home now and they've shut up. Prob collapsed into a drunken stupor.
Work was odd with parents and kids turning up that weren't booked in and not meant to be there, then demanding to see a doctor...Who was v v busy then being vile to me complaining and mouthy because they had to wait over an hour.
One woman came in because she didn't believe her GP when he said her kid was fine. Funny that...Her kid was fine.
I was working with a very junior but very competent doctor who I like a lot. He's a good man. He doesn't do many evenings because of his junior status but has to do the odd one. I see these people at work doing these highly professional jobs and I forget they have a home life. He called his wife to find out how her and their year old baby was. Now he'd told her he was working but she'd forgotten. She asked him how long it was till he came home and he said 9pm. With that she threw a paddy and put the phone down on him. He told me she was pissy because it meant she had to bath the baby and put him to bed. Apparently my doctor friend always does that.
FFS She doesn't work!!!!!!!! What is it with these women? And why couldn't I find a man like that? Why was mine like Onslow? Why was he incapable of doing anything?
I know men who cook, clean, bath kids, iron their own clothes...And sometimes dresses too (not his I hasten to add) Men who can fix stuff, plumb stuff, fix cars, and they work all week and have a social life and friends and they love their wives and kids and are happy and yet are still really brilliant interesting and decent people.
Poor Trin!! The 21 st century man has passed me by. All I can hope for is a reincarnation into royalty. (and not living next door to the Chavs)

ps on the way home Virgin FM spliced Green Day's Boulevard of Broken dreams into Oasis's Wonderwall and it was fab.

Open Wider

My dental hospital experience was smooth today. The hospital is smart and clean, helpful and friendly receptionists and dental nurses. I had an x ray which was efficient and very quick. Then I saw the dental surgeon. A young and very attractive Asian guy with a very posh accent. He attempted to read my dentists handwriting and then examined me (unfortunately just my teeth) then he sat back. He told me that my root filling, that I'd paid a fortune for when I was married, was basically rubbish. He pointed out the filling on the x ray and said it was very flimsy and not done well. And basically before they went to the very last resort of surgery, they'd prefer me to get a decent root filling done by an expert and see if that helps. I can see his point. Apparently if having surgery fails and an infection sets in then I would lose the tooth and it's a front tooth!
So what choices do I have I asked. Well a decent root canal expert for one tooth would cost on average £500 upwards per tooth. Or failing that I could always have my current dentist Mr Bungawalla, recently transported over from Africa, with his varied command of the English language to 'have a go'. Cross my fingers and just hope.
I think I may just try to change dentists but finding a decent NHS dentist that's taking newbies on is very hard to do and all the decent ones are just doing private practice which is awfully sad.
So basically my visit was a bit of a waste of my time and theirs because any decent dentist would have known to give the root filling another proper try. The evidence is there on the damn X-Ray.
Oh well. C'est la Vie.
Abby's just returned home. School shut an hour early so they could teach some student teachers stuff.
I did have a lush Subway sandwich for lunch though, and buy Nichole's present...Oh and get three packs of Marks and Spencers Hot X Buns. Damn that new advert for M&S food. I spent £20 in there.

Wednesday's mean shopping and dentists.

I think Red Toaster needs this sign outside her house....mind she already has a few crazy signs to keep the natives guessing.

I have to go into town this morning to see this damn dental surgeon about my apicectomy....not episiotomy as I mistakenly told one of the Docs in work and caused an uproar! Town=Shopping=Money=Danger=OMG orgasmic bliss.....shall I or shall I not visit Ann Summers? How to avoid Boots Make Up counters? And shoes shops? Oh the total bliss of the shoe shops. You know a Girl can NEVER have enough shoes or handbags. Abby wants a pair of Buffalo Trainers.... that's my girl. Pick the most expensive ones. I had a very awkward moment last night when both girls said they didn't want to see their dad over Easter... Danz wanted me to lie and say we were busy but I refused. Up to them what they do but I won't lie. He says they won't get an Easter Egg then. Hmph As if that would worry them. Abby's on a diet, she wants to be thin and beautiful..maybe if she walked to school more it'll help. Right well off to town then work. Have a good day anyone out there.

danger for contact lense wearers

Keratitis amongst contact lense wearers

Reading that I'm glad I never went to contact lenses. But if you do, you should really take them out at night at least. (need Acrobat to read this doc)

Isn't Keratitis a pretty word. Wonder if we'll have any girls named Keratitis in this country. I do laugh when I meet a kid named something medical...like Candida (means thrush) or Melena (bloody diarrhoea)

Eavesdropping

Next door came in earlier. They got a new kitten a female one called Rosie or some such femimine name. Anyways whilst playing with her The girl noticed what she thought was a penis. So she comes in here to ask me to go in and look for her. Fuck! I may be a nurse but I don't know anything about bloody cats bits.
I tried on my new bras. They make me look like Nell Gywnn all wench like. I think they may be reserved for dark nights out.
Whilst bra shopping I was half listening to a conversation between the shop assistants.
'How's your mate...you know the one with the .... ' (didn't catch that bit)
'Oh, well it's still happening. She's thinking of getting a priest in or summut'
' poor girl'
'yeah well yesterday she got up and fancied a coffee. So she went into the kitchen and sat there was a ready made coffee on the side.... then, later she thought she better take her drying out of the tumble dryer but when she got there it had already been taken out and folded up. She was really freaked'
'weird'
I picked up another lacy D cup and thought to myself. That girl needs her head read? A ghost that does housework and makes coffee? Fuck the priest. Buy it a pair of marigolds.
OMG The Thrills are on the OC what a treat.

Pink Fluff

I want this fluffy pink dog for Easter...ok so it's not a chicken. I have a collection of beanie babies on top of my wardrobe mingling with the collection of bottle trophys from my lush men!

Kizzy Kat

Kizzy and her new daisy chain collar. Damn shame she's not gracious enough to even pretend to like it.