Telling People

The hardest part of yesterday was telling the girls. They idolised granny. Particularly Danz who'd love to sit and listen to her just talk.
Breaking bad news is part and parcel of my job. I've done it so many times before over and over. I don't like doing it but I'm 'good' at it. That probably sounds weird.
When I first qualified as a nurse, I worked on a Ears Nose and Throat ward. A few weeks into the job an Elderly lady died. We tried to resuscitate her but it was no good. It was unexpected and the ward staff called in the family. I remember them in the relatives room. I remember them crying and their sadness. But I remember most that I felt they weren't very supported by us. Everyone seemed too nervous to actually go in and talk to them properly and even do something human like hug them. I really wanted to go in but I was too worried, nervous, hesitant. Didn't know what to do or say. And they left and I felt awful.
Never again was I ever like that.
Yesterday I slipped into nurse mode a lot. A 'role'. Someone has to do it and I'd rather it was me because then I'll be happy it was done right...As sympathetically and kindly and gently as possible.
I volunteered to go round and tell my Nan's best friend Doll that she'd died.
My mum was worried that Doll would pass out. She adored my Nan. They'd been together as babies. Doll's mum and Nan's mum had pushed the prams out together. They'd gone hand in hand to school together on their very first day and ended school together. She lives at the back of my Nan. Their gates meet. The last few years they were inseparable. A friendship that has spanned 87 years. How to tell someone their best friend has died?
Be positive. Through the grief a real feeling of love and friendship. Warmth and kindness. She doesn't know what she's going to do without her, She's lost and alone but she's not alone. And she will be ok. And she has lots of happy memories and laughter and really good times to remember. And she was thankful that Nan didn't suffer and it was quick. Because she was a good and wonderful person who deserved nothing less than a quick passing when her time was up.
Later, I thought of Doll alone in her house. So me and the girls went and bought some flowers. Spring flowers, and lots of Daffodils. My Nan's Fav flower. I took them round to her. Hugged her and thanked her for being Nan's friend.
Nurse mode or Trin mode? Maybe we are one and the same person after all.