Samedi

Today has been a flippy day and I was a bit flippy. But a friend told me that's kinda normal to feel a bit drained and shattered after a bereavement. Plus I'm a crazy bitch anyways so I tend to head to the extremes. My poor friends! But I guess I do anything for them so it's all swings and roundabouts.
I was very lucky to have Collette here today for a while. It was so lush to have her here with me. The two of us talking and setting the world to rights. We were planning my funeral (as you do) I told her I want to go out with a load of wailing. I want the world to sob because I've gone from it. She's going to put my rabbit (with
working batteries) in the coffin with me. I want my hair dyed red and my FM boots on. She asked me if I want my pubes shaved but we decided on a bright red merkin, in a heart shape.
And you lot know the music I like. One bar of Christian Rhyme and I'll rise from the dead.And the vicar better be attractive. I do love an attractive vicar.
Anyways Collette made me laugh. She bought me a rose to plant in the garden in honour of my Nan. Bless her. Then she went on to describe her efforts at gardening. She hasn't got much idea you know. So I did laugh when she told me she'd hired an allotment for the year with a mate. Talk about The Simple Life. Not Paris and Nicole But Collette and Jane. Anyways someone tell me what's wrong with buying your veg frozen from Iceland?
Me Mother's coming for dinner Tomm. Feck I hate cooking. Such an effort. I got me usual Frozen roast Potatoes from Iceland then a 'friend' (yes I'm talking about YOU) made me feel guilty so I bought a bag of spuds. Now I have to peel them. However I did buy one of those ready prepared joints of meat in a tin foil dish in Iceland to shove in the oven. My Nan always made Sunday dinner and a home made dessert. I have a jelly to do. I love jelly. Hope that's ok?
Collette was telling Abby she's 40 next year. 'Gosh' Said Braniac Abby ' You sure don't look 37' :0
Anyways before I die me and Collette are going to be in the same old peoples home. However noting her recent over 2 stone loss of weight, she better not try to take ANY of the old guys off of me. Imagine...living with a dozen men under the same roof. Can't wait!