The Funeral Day

What a hectic day. It started with me nearly getting killed by a boy racer with a Burberry cap on driving on the wrong side of the road up hill using his mobile phone. He just swerved in time. And I thought how easily I could have been killed then.
I had a little talk to myself and made a pact that I wouldn't cry today. The day was a careful orchestrated set of events that wham bang happened one after another. And luckily everything slot into place perfectly. Danz came back from camp. Her lovely Headmaster brought her home and just took her back for me. Bless him.
The funeral was much more stressful than any I've ever been to because I felt I was responsible for it running smoothly. And I was trying to stay detached from my family who were all crying and being so very sad. I knew if I went with it there was no way I could deliver the Eulogy and do my Nan Justice.
But it was the girls first funeral and especially Danielle was oh so overwhelmed and upset by it.
Abby stood up and started to read a poem that my Nan had written but after two lines she dissolved in tears and my sister went up and rescued her.
Then a hymn and then my bit. I composed myself and stood up. I think I did ok. People laughed at a couple of bits I read. My Nan was funny and vibrant. But as I headed toward the end bit I could feel myself going and I couldn't stop it.

"She said she came into this world to a lot of weeping and wailing and she wants to go out in a blaze of glory.
But how can you not cry Nan, when we loved you so very much and we will miss you until our dying day. Kiss our much missed Papa for us and sleep well my darling until we meet again."

I said the words but I was crying and tears falling from my eyes. I was upset I'd cried and felt I'd let her down but about 6 people came up to me and said I'd been very brave and done well, so I guess it was ok.
Then we went back to Nan's house for the 'party' We did far too much food. We'll be eating Gregg's cheese and Onion Pasties for the rest of the week.
Everyone liked the order of service I'd done and it was good seeing people I hadn't seen for ages. I told a cousin's husband that I'd had an awful crush on him when I was about 13 and my sister admitted the same thing (I never knew that)
All over now and a huge sense of relief.
We lost her but she didn't suffer, she had a happy life and a family who adored her. I hope that I'm so lucky when It's my time.
Oh Abby just said to me...'Mum When you die I don't know how we'll fit everyone in the church because there will be so many people there.....' God knows where she's gonna hire them all from then!