top tips for social pariahs

You don't ever again have to feel socially awkward again...:

"Find a muscle in your body that feels a little tense and consciously relax that muscle. You will instantly feel more at ease."

If you relax the muscle I'm thinking of too much you WILL feel a tad socially awkward.

"Find out the person's name, whether she's from this area, or if she's not, where she's from. How about her family; Do they live in this area? Big family? Brothers and sisters? What do they do? How about work? What does she do for a living? Does she like it? What got her into it? How about travel? What parts of the world has she seen? Any hobbies?"

(Whats yer name lovey? what? Bunty-Jane... right
You from round these parts? Ah you drink in the Crap and Duck?
You got any family? Yeah? All inside? GBH?
You on the dole?
You like the dole?
Oh you do...ok
You travel? on the number 36 to St Pauls? You don't look old enough for a bus pass.
World? Doesn't go beyond Inns Court? Fair enough darling.
Hobbies? Crack? Fly fishing? oh posting... slightly different).




My advice if you're socially awkward. Stay at home loser. Who writes this crap... tosser.