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Why do I keep getting these Viagra Emails?
Drives me mad. Every single day... "You wanna be rock hard? You wanna rock her bones all night long?"
(And I'm afraid 100% herbal means it don't work).
Rock hard in 20 minutes. Bloody heck in 20 minutes I could have baked a Victoria Sponge
Besides what is this rock hard crap?
What's wrong with rather firm? Much more tasteful.
I'm waiting in for my 'Kerry Katona' Iceland delivery. Can't wait to fill my cupboards with good food and see 'why mum's gone to Iceland'. Can't wait to see my little cherubs faces light up when they find that 99p pecan pie in the bag.
I'm such a fecking excellent mother.
ps got my tickets to Manchester today. Weekend after next. Can't wait.

Got a day off. Abby's home though.. par for the course. Least I did actually see her being ill last night though. We got some award ceremony at school tonight.. Apparently she's getting one.
I had a letter from school to say Danz had received 60 Eagles this term.
When I was a kid they called them merits. Eagles? If you were bad you got a demerit. Wonder what the reverse of an Eagle is?
Me dad is in hospital recovering from his abdominal surgery. They found a lumpy thing they're sending off for histology.
He won't be able to drive for a month.
Work was dreadful yesterday... It snowballed into this huge mess, that I left at 2.30. I was annoyed, if the damn car park hadn't been locked at 2.30 I'd have stayed a while longer to sort it out, but the hospital forced my hand and I left.
The human resource industry isn't one that you can just drop and leave but their rigid rules make me wonder if anyone has a clue what goes on?
More Ammo for my case.
I'm tired today, but I'm ok. Probably the most stable I've been in ages.
I think I might be finally getting better.
Fingers crossed.

Yawn Tiling.......................

I got to DIY last night and let out a huge groan... Teach had tiles out again. There were about 10 of us last night. He split us into two groups. The girls (twin set Tressies) scurried to the sink, they had to tile around a pipe. Think it sparked something in them.

I stuck with the boys down the long wall. I had Bill and Ben (I quite like Bill) and Soldier man. And a woman who came late who told us all in great detail why she hadn't been for 4 weeks, first her son had an accident, then her mother died then her great aunty flo broke her ankle.... On and on..
Soldier boy had a green t-shirt on. "What's the difference between The TA and Toast? On the back it said. You can Make Soldiers out of toast"
He told us all he'd worn it to TA practice and been told off. He also imparted little tales of the Gulf all night.
I asked him how long he'd played Golf for and did he have a handicap.
Horrible bitch aren't I?
We set to tiling the wall. There was a bit in the middle that needed to be cut. Two people went off cutting up stuff. Then what happens when lots of people are trying to tile the same wall?
Right... disaster.
We started one end and they started the other, but when we met in the middle all sorts of things happened. The wall has suddenly shrunk and we couldn't get a whole tile in. Teach refused to let us cut tiles into small pieces to fit in and we had to start again (git)
Unfortunately this happened again... The next time the wall had stretched so we just pushed up the tiles a bit and had nice big attractive spaces between them.
I preferred it.
Then Ben had to cut a tile to fit around the plug. Three times he cut it wrong... He kept doing it in reverse.
I kindly set him right (having a super intelligent brain)
But I was bored. Tiling is dusty and messy and hold no excitement for me.
Even the tile cutter was dull, I prefer Stanley knives.
So I got home after driving through Santa's Favourite street, that already has the lights out.
And found Abby in the throws of a migraine. She looked awful and threw up.
(We only got three sessions left. I suggested we have a DIY for Cretins party on the last night. All bring wine and drills and have a blow out.
Hope we do shelves next week or I might cry).

Amazon online dating?

"Trinity ! Of course not. I did not think for one little moment that you would take any advantage from me.You are not another average girl. You are you and that's what makes you a ' Trinity ' a wonderful person.I guessed that from your first e-mail to me.And you will always remain a special friend to me. So it's only natural i want to send you gifts Some how i dont think i will go out of business. Not as long as trinity is there to give her blessings for me. Sleep tight young lady. You probably may not call me a 'generous ' tomrrow. Isn't life funny ? Azhar".

Crikey good job I didn't buy an Ipod from him or something. Ummm? This man has my address. Should I worry?

November 14th !

yes november 14th... and the decorations are up... FFS 

my mate azhar

My missing DVD came Saturday. Complete with a DVD called 'Million Dollar Baby' and 'Mona Lisa Smile'... both free. The DVD I paid for (which I can't tell you what it is or it'll spoil the surprise for my scrumptious mate) arrived all nicely packaged and lovely.
So I left Azhar some good feedback on Amazon and an email thanking him... and he sent this reply.

"With a feedback like that, i would draw the attention of all those 20 million odd customers who visit amazon.I'd better get my stock topped up. Thank you Trinity. Thank you very much for your nice comments. The most worded feedback i received so far. Can look forward for more sales i guess. At any time you need a dvd, cd's or perhaps even a book, do not buy it. Just e-mail me and i shall send it to you. It'll be my pleasure. You are a wonderful lady. Look after your self. Azhar. Bye"

Why can't all men be like Azhar?

cam phone pic, so excuse quality

Abby had a very special treat today. A hair cut in Toni and Guys.
I sat waiting for her after work.
A woman sat by me asked if she was my daughter.... Yes I said.
"My word she has the most gorgeous hair", she remarked. I thought she was talking about someone else. But the hairstylist 'Richard' smiled.
Proud of his work.
I have to admit, she looks lovely

who Knows?

What a quiet little weekend, one has had.
I didn't leave the house yesterday...Which could have been fun if I'd had someone else to remain house bound with.
Ah well, I had a peaceful weekend with no dips into the well of untold misery, despite trying hard on Friday to open the lid of that dreadful place.
I feel in Limbo.
I'm not sure what I'm waiting for. But I think something is going to happen

"Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great"!

Maybe this positive feeling of excitement is going to snowball and just by the sheer fact of my anticipation, something will happen.
And for the first time in ages, it's not hinging on the actions of someone else.
"Will he come see me? Will he let me go to him? Will someone fall in love with me? Will someone suddenly look up notice me and sweep me off my feet?"
Oh yes, all past thoughts and of course none of those things happened in the way I wanted them.
I cannot live my life willing stuff to happen in the way I think I need.
Thing is what I thought I needed, I didn't.
What I thought I was, I wasn't.
What I wanted to be, I can't be.
What I thought I'd never accept. I accepted.
You know the book thing down below?
I think I read too many of the damn things.

peanuts?

Hahah I found this picture of certain men who frequent this site.

A warning

I just had Bailey sat on my lap and she's sooo damned fat, she was enormously heavy.
So I showed her this picture and told her if we dyed her hair ginger, she may end up like this.
When she walks her tummy scrapes the floor.
She wasn't impressed.

Reading no not the town near London.... Books

I'm half way through the last Harry Potter book. It's ok, It's holding my attention but the storyline revolving around the stroppy teenagers is tiresome. We all know teenagers are the reason the Ozone Layer is crumbling away like stilton cheese. Ridiculous.
It's a feat though. My inability to concentrate on anything has prevented me from reading for years now and I like to read.
It's also good for the girls to see their mum reading. It's true. If you want your kids to read you have to do so yourself and be shown doing it. It becomes a daily routine.
I had this dreadful nightmare last night that part of my brain was removed to cure me. The square bit. They placed it somewhere else in case they found I couldn't cope without it, but promptly forgot where it was.
Anyways I've been on my new resource for all things wonderful and found some great stuff..... Books!
Bloody heck, they don't write 'em like they used to. My Nan had loads of this kind of 'throw away fiction'. I loved it. I'd sit there at weekend's just soaking up the stuff. My Granddad would wink at me, he knew the dubious content and laugh.
My favourite was the Teenage Virgin who was kidnapped by a press gang, and sailed off to the far Orient to be in a Harem. She was initiated by the Ship's handsome rugged Capitain, (said avec French accent), on the outward Journey and promptly fell in love with him. Then at the Harem she soon became the Sultan's favourite wife and made all the other Harem wives jealous and they tipped hot wax over her naked body... And.... And....OMG It's Sunday, whatever am I thinking? Tout Alors!
ps... actually not sure the Orient had Harems... I think it MAY have been that place where they have sand dunes... (not not Brean Downs).
>Those sexy babes in 3-B... Just where is 3-B?


Wish I'd read this one.... I laughed at the names... The alluring mysterious name of Annice...Visions of beautiful, Swedish and nubile. Full of untried passion. How the feck do you know there's passion there till you try?
Barby (ok visions of burgers and sausages.. Stop-it) Dark, innocent, scared of men and a lesbian (stop salivating Space Minx).
And Pat? Fecking Pat? Pat Butcher? Pat who works down the chippy?
Pat, Big and Blonde (we know that) Pat, up for a bit of hanky panky over the Boss's Italian Cherry wood Desk.
Woah... Where can I get this book?
Feck, I'm soooo bored of sodding Harry Potter and his magic wand. They all got a 'Magic Wand' until you get to know them.

pixie peaches

Aren't Peaches and Pixie Geldoff just gorgeous teenagers? I know Paula was a very attractive woman but Bob isn't an oil painting. But they are so pretty.
She'd be so proud of them.
Sad.
I started to watch the Kiss Awards on Ch 4. But I hate that ugly bitch June Sarpong so much. Up her own backside so far she needs industrial grease to get her head back out.

Madonna on Parky

I'm watching Madonna on Parkinson and recovering from my rant on my other site.
I just have to say WTF is going on with Madonna's hair?
Is she going through some retro 70's thing?
I seem to remember Lyn from the New Seekers having a similar style (umm from a picture my mother showed me once )
I loved Madonna in the 80's. She was new and different and I had this party piece where I stood on restaurant tables and did 'Like A Virgin'
I greatly admire her and if I had the choice to meet a man and woman from this world the Man would be Sam Raimi and the Woman Madonna.
Ok subject change... I saw Goldie Lookin' Chain doing 'R'n'B' earlier today and it was hilarious. I need a GLC cd in my Christmas stocking (yeah like I ever get one!!)

well balanced trin

Can't have all this breast talk,
got to balance out the blog!

Science in a D cup

Discover Magazine - science news, The Physics of Bras:

"A pair of D-cup breasts weighs between 15 and 23 pounds-the equivalent of carrying around two small turkeys"

(frozen or fresh?)

"The larger the breasts and the more they move"

Ummm is this rocket Science? So that's what scientists think about at work?

Can you name this celeb?

Saturday with the adams family

This morning the kids decided they wanted to see their dad today. It seems that they haven't seen him for ages and although pissed off about the Cinema incident they still wanted to do something different (maybe the fear of a slightly unwell mad mother with housework on her mind swayed the decision)
After all... The man still has a jacuzzi in the garden. What self respecting teen could ignore that?
So they rang him. I heard Abby say, that if she did come she didn't want to be left in front the TV like normal... He was either to watch a film with them or at least spend time with them (they really do crave male attention it's so sad)
So he said he'd come over and take them to the Chinese Buffet for dinner. Then take them shopping.
Abby was happy but bemused 'he never had any money I thought mum' she said.
Then he rang to say, hold fire he needed to ask Tree Trunk first. Tree Trunk is our nickname for that woman he shacks up with ...Oh sorry... The woman he rents from, for the sake of the CSA. An excellent landlady that lets him share her bed.
Then he rang and said, no he couldn't afford dinner as Tree Trunk needed a new mobile phone.
Then he rang to say, actually they weren't going anywhere but the Car Phone Warehouse. But the girls could come and help Tree Trunk choose her new phone.
At this point Abby said forget it.
Isn't it sad that he is totally unaware of what delightful, intelligent and remarkable children he has?
Isn't it sad that he wants to spend no time with them at all?
How can I possibly be both mother and father? I'm barely whole myself.
So we spent the day in house. Danielle has a friend here. Me and Abby watched a pirated Brothers Grimm. Come on it is a council estate!
It was crap, don't bother with it. I normally like stuff like that but it was silly,lacked a story and the French soldiers were irritating beyond belief. If they'd got a decent ending I'd have been happier.
The acting was like Laurel and Hardy on Speed. I detest slapstick.
So my next step I guess is a night in with the X-Factor which I watch under protest just to make fun of it all.
Plus I have to blog about it on our other site. I love my Jude and Clarrie Girls.
Anyways, I'm a bit better... I left my telephone number on a Bristol Gym's query line. David Lloyds. They haven't bloody left me alone since. I only wanted to know how much it was, but they're determined to get me down there. They keep calling and arranging appointments which I can't make.
Then I had a cold call from T Mobile enquiring how much I sent on my mobile a month. I said about 50 quid to which he said in an incredulous voice 50 quid?? Then I asked why he wanted to know but he was obv. Reading from a script and my interjections and questions were confusing the man. So feeling pissed off and grotty I told him to bugger off and put down the phone.
I think he was calling from a Foreign country because he seemed confused with the 'Bugger Off' phrase.
I wish I had some wine...

Alien cat

Bailey is an alien. Note the antennae sprouting from her head. This is to enable her to contact the mother ship in case us humans stop doing as we are told. And YES I'm the pleb who does as she bids.
I went back to bed last night at 5am. 5.30 am I was woken by her miaowing loudly and insistently.
I got up, she was at the bottom of the stairs yelling. I went down.
There was nothing wrong. I went into the lounge and she followed. She Jumped on the chair and fell asleep.
She didn't want to be alone but didn't feel like climbing the stairs.
Grrrr.

sleepy

I can't sleep. Actually I had several nightmares and finally I gave up and woke up.
I was being chased by wolves for some of them and others we were trapped in a large cold building and outside were zombies waiting to eat our flesh... I couldn't use the outside toilet as it was surrounded by them and was desperate for a pee.
I woke up desperate for a pee.
It's raining sheet rain outside.
Bailey went out through the cat flap and came back almost shrieking her mieows to make me come down and find out what's wrong.
Nothing's wrong. She's just a bit wet and wanted to tell someone.
Going to try again now.
Hope you're all asleep dreaming nice dreams about fun fairs and cruises and large warm whiskeys.
Funny old world.

update

Cats make you crazy... so do boobs

Oh god, hope this isn't me in 10 years time.......

hey daddy

Has anyone noticed the cartoon similarity between Dubya and Prince Charles? Worrying... you don't suppose?????

can't wait till 2008

2008 Olympic mascots:

"'China is so lucky to have so many beautiful animals to represent the Olympic spirit,' Rogge said.
The animals were introduced as Bei Bei, Jing Jing, Huan Huan, Ying Ying and Ni Ni - which, put together, translates to 'Beijing welcomes you!'"

Bei bei, jing jing, huan huan, ying ying and ni ni translates to Beijing welcomes you? I'd hate to see what 'This way to the ladies rest room' translates from.
I hate the be the person who blew up those dollies...

I think I see Xog Xog in the Lemon.

the universe according to trin

Bit of a crap day but not the crappest day ever. I had a meltdown round about 4pm when everyone who means anything to me felt my inner child emerge and throw a two year olds temper tantrum. Hey Ho.
I was awoken at 5am by a black and white cat sat on my head. As you all know, when ill sleep often eludes one. So I was quite pee'd off to be awoken. Particularly since we have a fecking cat flap and the jerk doesn't either
A, know how to use it or
B, refuses to use it (It's Taylor so more likely B)
No decent post again. I'm waiting for 2 letters.
I called the Insurance company to enquire about my claim.
I spoke to 'Rob'. He said that it had gone on far too long now and in fact yesterday he'd passed it to his line manager who'd emailed the other parties insurance company and told them to get a move on.
Gosh. An email. That's fecking scary....
He expects full payment in 13 days. I won't hold my breath.
So, what was positive about today?
My friends shares have gone through the roof. I think shares are silly. He has shares but what does that mean? When we are kids we are taught to share, so, I should have shares and if I had shares I would share them.
Sharing is the kids first lesson in Political Correctness.
"Now share your sweeties Billy" "Why? the only thing he ever shared with me was his bloody head lice"
Why do we have to share?
I think women should share decent men around. If yours is a shit, I think you should keep him locked up. Maybe then, if they think they're going to get more sex with other women they'll stop being shits and make the effort.
"Are you going to mow the lawn Roger?.... No? Then I'm sorry there's no rumpy pumpy with Tracy down the road tonight"
They'd soon learn.
Life would be so simple If I ruled the world.

ps when you sneeze on the pc monitor? Pretty patterns or what?

what a nice man

I've had two parcels go missing... both posted on the same day from different addresses. One had a certificate of posting one didn't.
They were from Amazon Marketplace. After three weeks I contacted the sellers and said I was worried they were con men... where was my stuff? They had the money.
They both replied. Kevan (nice name) was affronted that I would say he was a conman and immediately refunded my money. I apologised and that was that.
Azhur took a little longer to repond

Dear ms trinity,
Thank you very much for your e-mail. I am verry sorry that you are not in receipt of the above mentioned dvd that should have reached you at least a fortnight ago. I am truly sorry. Please forgive me. Please do not worry. I shall post your dvd the first thing in the morning. Hopefully you should receive it on saturday. Shall include another bonus dvd to compensate for the lost package. Once again i do apologise. Please take care. Bye for now !
Azhar Huzair.

I sent a very thankful and lovely email off to him and he replied.

Hi Trinity !
thank you for your kind words. I'm glad at least you are less angry with me now. A visit to your local post master to complain about the missing mail would not go unheeded i guess. If my previous pkg turns up, then please give it to a friend. It is as good as you sending it back to me. You will probably make someone happy. Well ! i shall conclude. It's gone past midnight now and i bet you are dreaming away. Sleep tight . Goodnight Trinity !

What a lovely man. I think I love him.
But I am v. suspicious there is a thief at the Post Office.....Any idea if I can do anything about it?
(doubt anyone's reading but I slipped in my real name there by accident ... ooops)

remember

So today is November 11th.
Remembrance Day right?
I got a memory of November 11th. It was my wedding anniversary.
11/11/89 at 11am.
Just why we choose that date and time is a little odd. I was pregnant and I think it was the only date we could get.
I wore white. Laughable. It was his second marriage. His first wife was infertile so hence our haste to find out if I could have brats babies.
We married in a Methodist church that's now boarded up. We had a Brownie and Girl Guide troupe guard of honour. I was a Brownie Guide Leader.
The photographer was called Bob Peters. He arrived after the ceremony was over. He only had one eye. A one eyed photographer. His other eye was glass and it was kind of tilted to the right so when he said 'look Here... You weren't sure where to look.
We had the photos taken in the small back garden. My new husband fell down a hole in the mud at one point... And it was bloody freezing. Global warming these days has wiped away the biting cold feeling of Novembers past.
We had our reception at the local Community centre, hardly class but it was nice.
I didn't eat a thing. My dress was tight and I felt very nauseated with the pregnancy. In the evening, my dress zip broke so I wore a leather jacket on top of it for the rest of the day.
It was a blur. His family were odd. Some of them are really lovely, quite classy and intelligent, then the others were truly embarrassing. Typical family wedding then.
The girls from work came to the wedding and evening party. At about 9pm Debbie pulled me aside and said, it had been a nice day but to be sensible now and not get pregnant for a while. Consolidate the marriage first. Ooops I said.
Then we went to Torquay for our Honeymoon.
I puked every 10 minutes for three days and ended up in hospital with hyperemesis gravidarum and there I bounced back in and out until I had an emergency caesarian section at 35 weeks.
But at 30 weeks pregnant, his mother was tragically decapitated by the Temple Meads flyover by a Juggernaut lorry. So that was our first year of marriage.
Ah yes, let us remember.

Speed Cameras

Speed Cameras:

"Several new Monitron cameras are being installed in and around Bristol. They are being used by the scamera partnership in response to repeated attacks on Gatsos in the area. These new cameras send the image straight to the police by a digital link which means the speeding ticket is issued as soon as an offence is committed. The other vandal proof feature is the extra tall pole which is supposed to stop vandals reaching the camera housing. All this won't stop someone from driving into it or using an angle grinder on the post".


And something else you need to know - the ones at traffic lights have the potential to act as speed cameras when the lights are on green.
Bastards... money money money. Misery for the driver. I swear all these damn roadworks are just to make drivers miserable. I never see the bloody road diggers doing anything other than leaning on spades watching the traffic build up.
I want to shout 'Bastards' at them as I drive past....gosh I can be sooo aggressive.
Apparently the latest trend in fun things to do is burn the speed cameras.... Best thing anyone's ever done since Guy Fawkes if you ask me.
No Tony, don't lock me up for 90 days.... what did you say? It's 28 now? Ah but if it were with you I'd prefer the 90 thanks.