waiting for sanity

My favourite kind of afternoon. Sat in the psychiatrist's office waiting 3/4 of an hour to see her.
Luckily I had an old copy of 'Real People' to keep me going. A chav magazine combining 'Take a Break' and 'How to die but get 500 quid from a magazine whilst doing it'
Stuffed full of stories of brain tumours and still births and even having cancer whilst your husband screws your best mate.
Then there was the reader who wrote in with a picture of her 'haunted' till receipt. The bill was £6.66 and the date of the receipt was 6/6/06. 666 the number of the beast... Right! Personally I'd have felt embarrassed that the most expensive item was a packet of Mayfair Kings.
Then there was a top tip.
On a long journey freeze a couple of face flannels over night then pop them in your cool bag. When the kids get hot and bothered you can wipe them round their dear little faces and necks and keep them cool. What's wrong with a bit of spit and a tissue?
Then the final story was about a married middle aged woman, who felt something was lacking in her life and took up with a long haired tattooed biker naturist. Now they strip off at every opportunity and go to a nudist colony weekly. They didn't have a nude wedding but she'd have liked one.
Thankfully I was then called to see the doctor. A fresh faced guy of about 25. His first week in psychiatry. He told me he wanted to be a surgeon. I looked at his hands.... yep very nice.
I hate seeing juniors. I see it as a total waste of time.
"How are you sleeping?" stock question
"In bed" stock answer
"umm haha ummm any feelings of suicide?"
He looked uncomfortable. He didn't look me in the eye once.
I am aware I can intimidate easily.
"Have you done paediatrics?" I asked... Oh gawd. He's coming to my ward next April. Great. Better be nicer then.
He's decided he'd write to my GP and tell him about my daily headaches. My GP will be pleased.
On the way out a fellow patient who knew I'd been waiting ages asked me if it was worth the wait.
"Well he was good looking" I replied.
Danz (who'd sat patiently throughout this) rolled her eyes.
Poor kid, having me as a mother.
Least life isn't dull.