sad

I've been trying to ignore the passing days for weeks now but time is lurching forward to the day when the unit closes. The new ward is set to open April 1st. Last night I shut the kitchen door, put on Plan B (don't ask) and cried my eyes out. I'm so sad. I've been there so long. Seen so many things happen, so may children died, so may saved, happy times... staff babies born. Staff children died. Marriages, divorces, affairs, really fun moments and moments of total despair.
It's a really good place to work. There was this article on the BBC website recently about a woman with an illness who was kept going by her place of work supporting her and being patient and understanding. No place has been more understanding than my ward. I remember being so ill, my head was so distorted and begging my manager to let me come to work. She looked at me and smiled. "Debs", she said " We want nothing more than to have you back at work, but we want you better more. Get well. We will be waiting. We love and care about you more than anything"
I am worried about change, about something new... about what will happen but to be honest I'm more sad about what I've lost. About what every single child in Bristol has lost. A unit that cares, that goes that extra mile, that is excellent. Maybe It'll all be OK. Maybe the legacy will carry on. Hope so.
I applied for a new job in out patients. It looks good, busy, interesting, lots of extra investigations. Autonomy and diversity. Hope I get it. We did a pagan ceremony at the lunar eclipse.
Danz wanted to get on better with her school friends. Spring wanted less work, Wulf wanted less football on TV (lol) and I wanted the new job.
I think the next few weeks are going to find me rather emotional. We're going to the SS Great Britain on Saturday for a closing Grand Ball. Cost a fortune, but it's a full night of music, food and drink. Hope I don't cry all night...