seasons greetings everyone

Heidi eats the tree. Stitches and all and she still climbs the tree.

But she does have moments of peace under the thing. Me and Abby had to completely redress the tree an hour before our engagement party as those cats had wrecked the thing and broken the lights. The party was good though, lots of happy people, delicious mulled wine and dancing.
And no one asked for 70's music.....

This morning at 7 am. Heidi just loved the paper. Merry Christmas to all my friends.

never forgotten

Thinking of you at Christmas Nan. Loves you always xxx

poor heidi

Heidi with the evil Collar on. She doesn't look happy!


Heidi modelling the latest way to wear the collar. Round the neck to the front. Tsk

Tonight is our official engagement party here. Party food and alcopops.... wish me luck xxx

eventful night

Heidi had her surgery yesterday. I dropped her off at 8am and went on to work. 5 cats on and I still hate it and want to cry when I leave them. They rang me at 11 am and said she was fine and I could collect her at 1. Guiltily I had to say it would be 3. Work was busy. Pre-Christmas rush. Buy one get one free disease.
I collected her eagerly. She had one of those collars on. She'd been biting her stitches. She hates collars and was going crazy. On the way home I nearly ran over a cat who ran in front of the car. I did an emergency stop and the cat box flew off the front seat and. I did cry. Poor baby, just had surgery and I couldn't keep her safe and pain free.
I got home and my parents were here, picking up the girls for the Pantomime. They drove off and suddenly reappeared 5 minutes later with Danielle hysterically crying.
They'd got to the end of the road and been surrounded by a gang of kids with sticks whacking the car. My dad being hot tempered had chased them with the car and as they turned a corner a bigger gang was waiting with concrete blocks and stones and pelted the car. It was dented.
So we had a police visit (the most good looking cops you have ever seen).
Later Spring came over. All was OK. We were watching Heidi who took off her collar numerous times. I heard a loud bang outside. Some kids had kicked our bin over. There was rubbish everywhere. I picked it up and went back in. Then another crash and several small beer bottles thrown at the house. Glass everywhere and over his car.
So Spring sat outside looking menacing for ages in the freezing cold.
He said it hasn't put him off living here. Glad he was here though. Scary to be alone with that going on.
Little bastards.I don't think Santa will be visiting them anytime soon.
Oh one bit of good news... we got a New Years Eve gig at the Bath Arms in Longleat. Getting paid to party. Can't be bad.

Busy Old December

Time to blog? Well my mate rang me today and said that there's time to do stuff or blog. I guess he's right. Last year I had time to sit and write but this year is way packed. Tonight I did some housework and was thinking about how much easier last year was. But would I like to return to it... No bloody way. I'm way happier and my life is full. So much has changed not just for me but the girls too. I hope they're ok with it. They seem to be. They always say that what makes me happy makes them happy. Maybe they know best. Years of seeing me at rock bottom and now there's someone else in our lives to share it all with and it's good.
Christmas is hard. I have zero money. No borrowing, no Christmas debt. Just have what I have and that's that.
I have a small carrier bag with wrapped presents for each of the girls. Last year they had loads. They have one 'big gift' and some small ones. Hope it's ok.

Saturday we went to Littlehampton to see Spring's parents. My first trip as a future relative in law.
We asked Springs niece to be a bridesmaid when the time comes. I love making people happy and she was thrilled.
I drove some of the way. Spring was horrified at my ton on the M27. Oh dear, when I get behind that wheel.....

Littlehampton front on December 16th 2006. All quiet and cold.

On the way back we stopped at the motorway services. This is the ladies loos. Christmas hits the services!

Today is my first real day off in ages. We walked to Symes Avenue. Half of it is demolished. The dust and rubble was awful. You simply can't shop there anymore. I've no idea how people without cars are coping. Well maybe it'll be nice when it's finished?

Note the half building with the wallpaper in the background. Kids paper. Someone used to live in these buildings. Poor souls.

The old chip shop on the corner.

getting taken advantage of

Sometimes...Just sometimes.
I have a feeling that at some point in the not too distant future we shall be giving up Rainbow guides. This won't be without regret and a hefty dose of guilt. We started the pack up, have run it for a good 13 years and have enjoyed it. But it's getting tedious and tiring and samey. And where is the help and the enthusiasm from the parents? It simply doesn't exist anymore.
Me and Collette both work in the day now. I get home at 3.30 and have to be back out at 4.30 to drive across this sodding city to get there. She gets home similar time and has to sort out her kids... She has a small child to get organised too. Sometimes, when the city traffic has been bad I could cry at the thought of going through rush hour traffic again.
Then there's the hassle. Capitation (which is the insurance) is about 14 quid a child. We don't have the funds to pay that so we ask the parents... But they aren't interested. We have a couple of girls who haven't paid their subs for 5 weeks and more. We ask, they still don't pay. Then I got a narky email from one whose daughter didn't get an immediate brownie place as she hit 7. And I thought WTF? There's the woman who asked us to drive her child home every week even though it added 20 minutes to my journey home and was completely in the different direction for collette. But the audacity of it? You do it once as a huge favour then they take advantage.
Are we mugs or what?
I was also a bit narked at the catering coach last week. The guys who work there are ok, but they do take the piss at times.
Last Saturday there I am with party food coming out of my ears, crackers, decorations, sandwiches and a worker came into the coach and asked if I could cook him something hot. Now we never provide hot food Saturdays. We were only there for the kiddies Christmas party. I said no and he stormed out muttering about how disgusting it was.
Hang on a minute. Rainbows? Train station? We are volunteers. We don't get paid for doing this, we rarely get any form of praise or thanks. But we do it week after week.
And people wonder just why there aren't people out there who will do charity work?

deep joy for the festive season

The lack of the Dell is really beginning to piss me off. This is the first time I've been able to use the PC in days and SHE has just got up come down and demanded the computer. She's going to college.... Why use it now? The repairers have had it 8 days now. There's nothing wrong with it but the actually lead is dodgy. It needs anew plug thing on the end that goes into the PC. But he's busy and can't do it yet. If it's not done by tomorrow I'm taking it elsewhere. Ridiculous.
I'm no where near ready for Christmas. I took Danz shopping last night. We came back empty handed. Useless. I have no idea what to get people. I haven't much money and token stuff is so hard to get. Oh well, guess it'll be ok.
The weekend was ok but hard work. Two full days of Santa and 80 kids. We had 2 complaints that they didn't like the gifts. One child got the wrong present. He was 11 and got a colouring book... It wasn't meant to be that. And one woman said her kids hated train stuff and wants a refund. Guess you can't please them all but if you don't like trains don't come see Santa in a train station!

The girls worked really hard. They both dressed up. Abby in a red Santa dress creation and Danz as a Christmas tree.

And my Spring in his Reindeer suit. His antlers broke the trimmings in the catering coach and I was not amused. He was charging a pound for a photo. I told him to get lost. I was his betrothed... Blood cheek.

Yesterday he took me to his Christmas lunch with the rail gang. Hmmm. It included a ride on a 'train' and an hour slide show on steam engines with the guy who collects waistcoats....

This is the 'train' they all loved it. I was freezing. I find it hard to enjoy anything when I'm slowly dying of frost bite. Dinner was nice and we skipped the slide show for fear I'd pass away of boredom. On the way out we came across a hunt. Spring yelled abuse at them as we passed. Interesting day!

yawn

Waiting for Christmas is sooo tiring.

quickie

Bad blogger I am. I haven't been online much at all. The Dell laptop has broke completely after 9 months. It's guarantee was just three months as well. Crap. So it's at some PC repairers I found in the yellow pages and Abby has commandeered this thing. She's on her way back from college as I write!
I'm ok. I got a bit stressy yesterday. Me and Spring went to the train station to pick out gifts for the 80 kids coming to the Santa special on the weekend. On the way back we stopped at a pub at about 1pm for a quick sandwich. I had psychiatry at 2pm. Pushing it? Well I asked how long a sandwich would take. 20 minutes they said. 45 mins later we were asking where they were and asking for a take away bag. Hopeless. We got home, I grabbed the car and raced to the clinic panicking and stressed. I got there to find there were no doctors. My appointment was cancelled and they hadn't told me. I was fuming. NHS? Crap.
I'll post some pictures and stuff tomorrow. Got a day off except it isn't really as I have to go decorate the train carriage for bloody Santa. Oh well it might be fun.

silly old stress

Maybe not the worst day ever but pretty damn near. My body didn't want stress today. It was a tough week. Work was busy, everyone really down. They said my engagement was the only happy thing they've had in ages. More people resigned one girl who had 'terrible' Christmas Off Duty handed in her notice and left stat. One girl had a scan and was found to have a mass and whisked off to surgery immediately. A bad week.
So I arrived at 9 am to find a note on the desk. Dear Trin, unit horrendously busy... Doctor off sick, no staff and you're on your own. Fine, I've coped before. But we didn't have a Doctor. One poor over worked person for the whole unit. The first child arrived. Two hours later and she was still sat there waiting to be seen. The room is as small as my lounge. I kept apologising but I felt her parents pissed off eyes boaring in on me all morning. Another one who'd been sent home last night arrived. I watched the baby as his mum went to the loo. Sweet thing, needed a scan. I found him a bed. Next one arrived...Wanting to catch the next bus home. You'll be lucky I laughed.
The doctor was so painfully slow. He's lovely. Really kind and thorough but needs a rocket attached to him. Finally they all got seen. They all disappeared out of the door back to their own little lives.
2pm came. I was off duty. The consultant came in and asked me to contact 5 people to come in next week. I sighed and did it. The first one was really rude. Said her kid was fine now and she didn't want an appointment thank you. The next one was a raving mad woman. Wouldn't stop talking about planting bulbs, woodland creatures and her child's veruca. Luckily the next three were out. I left messages.
2.30 and I needed desperately to get home. Danz would be waiting on the door step. A doctor came in. The baby with the scan had a tumour.
I took a deep breath. The doctor went in to tell the parents. I thought about how their lives were about to be devastated. Wanted to cry, but it's not my child. Empathy ok but not overwhelm. We have to do the job. Keep sane somehow.
I went home. I got to the car park and my manager ran after me. She had an engagement card in her hand for me. Gave me a hug. I was choked up.
I got home, Danz was on the door step. I was in a foul mood. Spring text to say he wasn't coming till 6 now. I had two really nasty letters from people who are still bothering me post bankruptcy. Yelled a lot. Kicked Taylor out for trying to puke on the carpet.
Phew.... Feeling better now. Think its a bottle of red wine night.