Mad life

Steve pointed out today that I haven’t blogged for several months. It’s not that stuff hasn’t happened worthy of blogging, oh yes stuff has happened in handfuls. But the need to tell the world via the net about it has faded. Shame really because as a diary resource this is good. Though sometimes on reflection painful. Was I REALLY like that? Did I REALLY do that... crikey!
Last year was a whirlpool of blood guts and champagne.
You know I never had any intention of remarrying. The marriage game was not for me. Done it before, it left a bad taste. I didn’t feel the piece of paper tying you up to someone was necessary. If you love and care about them you’ll stay with them.
But I hadn’t reckoned with Steve’s ex wife. Ex is a sociopath. She has no people skills at all. She is self centered and mad. Totally nuts actually. Believe me. I know all about nuts.
From the day we met I felt this underlying force that was controlling Steve and their son (W). Little things, little bits were said and done but I knew, however. that I was a major issue for her. It seemed that Ex was adamant that we were NOT to wed. There is the mind of a deranged woman. That she actually though that she could influence Steve in that way. But she did think it and her weapon was W. Her threat, if you do not do as I say you will never have anything to do with him again. But she couldn’t just initiate this without appearing totally nuts. It had to be done with subtlety... well as subtly as a megalomaniac can act. She had a receptive sponge in W. Stinging from the change in his lfe, having to share his father and not being the centre of attention he readily lapped up her vicious propaganda. He told us that they talked about me all the time, I was the constant topic. They talked about how to topple me, how they wanted Steve to leave me and life to return as it was. He also had a great resource pool in his great love of drama like Eastenders, Holby City and Casualty. Research has recently shown that children exposed to this so called drama find it hard to entangle it from reality. They become anxious and unsettled. Wulfric is allowed to watch these programmes in a loop. They are taped and he listens to them over and over.
One day on the telephone W told Steve that at the weekend I had hit him, he didn’t of course say at the time but went home told his mother who demanded he say something. However he couldn’t say when the assault had happened, why or had any reasoning. Over the next few months as the wedding approached I had Hit him ,stamped repeatedly on his feet, tried to hit him down the stairs, burnt him with an iron and then le piece de resistance Poisoned his food.
He told us he had even rang childline encouraged by this mother.
We also noticed that if something happened on Casualty it also ‘happened’ to him.
We had an issue with food one weekend because his mother forbid him from eating french bread because of the ‘well known’ link between french bread and constipation. As Steve put it of course the French population are well known for their constipated bowels!
I don’t really wish to discuss W’s personal stuff here but that woman is convinced he has something major wrong with him and has been known to give him 10 sachets of laxatives in one go. As a kids nurse it seems that people obsessed either with their own bowels or their children’s tend to be a little unhinged.
Wulfric also told us she had told him he had a hole in the heart. This is completely untrue. What is the woman on?
For his 13th birthday we bought him an iPod shuffle which he loved. She brought him a ball pool. For age 12 months to 3 years. We did him a party with school mates and peers. She had him a printer party (W had a bit of a thing with printer noises) She had a table. He sat at the top and on the other 5 seats sat a printer, his friends! Printers? He also had a tee shirt made with a printer on it.
Luckily we broke the printer fixation after W broke apart a brand new printer Steve had brought here that we’d had 24 hours.
We moved him away from printer noises to music... much better agreed? :)
So the wedding loomed. W became more distant and rude. The way he spoke to us was awful. The girls were horrified, that someone would come to our home and talk to their mum like that. He didn’t send his dad a fathers day card or even ring. When asked why he said he didn’t wish to.
The wedding day was lovely. My dear friend Marie was allocated to look after W. In a way where he was never left alone, needing anything, his needs were met and more. She is lovely and adores him and he likes her. We all got on the coach to Bath, Steve took a picture of the flowers. W began to get cross. He said his dad never ever takes pictures of him anymore. Steve laughed as he’s always taking pix of him. We have hundreds of them.
Interesting though that as the day went on W got upset. A lot of the pictures have him crying a little. He said he didn’t want his picture taken. Marie took him away to the hotel after a while and got him drink and sweets and they sat quietly talking about stuff. She said they had a lot of fun. Steve also spent time with him and in the evening party Steve sat with him most of the night.
Sadly after that things crumbled. We saw him twice after. He refused to come to France with us saying he had been before then a few days before we went changed his mind. But it was too late, the tickets had been set and he couldn’t come. According to his mother he was desperate to come but Steve spoke to him and really he did not want to come, he reiterated that he had been before.
We saw him in August 2008. We had organised it for the Friday evening but apparently his mother had an engagement on the Thursday night and he wanted to come then. I work a very long day Thursdays. I said it was ok but he had to behave himself. I couldn’t cope with him being vile. We arranged to pick him up from Radstock at 7pm. His mother had NEVER offered to help with the partial driving before so she MUST have been desperate to get rid of him that night.
However after that initial phone call he didn’t ring again and I was not surprised when he didn’t turn up on the Thursday. Steve was upset and finally getting through to the Nuthouse in Frome we found out they’d gone to the wrong car park, we had to drive all the way to Frome to get him. He got in the car. I asked why he hadn’t rang for 4 days as if he had rang we could have made sure he knew the right car park and avoided all the upset. He immediately screamed at me. How dare I ask him to behave on the phone. Who did I think I was, he was not to be asked to behave. We did have an argument for a few minutes as I was so cross. How can a child of 14 be allowed to get away with such crap, talking to me like dirt and being so obnoxious? But are not an arguing couple. Me and Steve have never had a cross word in 3 years, ever. The argument stopped and wasn’t referred to again. We had a good weekend. We took him to a spectacular play at a school near Swindon with drums, and banging and lights. He squealed with delight. He went on the swings and stroked the horses there. The sun shone and it was lovely.
We took him back and that was the last time we saw him.
He says he never wants to see us again, he hates his dad and if he ever saw me again he’d like to stab me.
He also wants nothing to do with his extended family.
We have been to a solicitor. She was so lovely. In telling this to people you always either get an incredulous look or people think it’s so complex and mad they don’t want to hear it.
She said she’s sure Ex is mad. She is pulling his strings and influencing him. It was deeply therapeutic to see her and worth the £300. So what now? The solicitor says he desperately needs to have contact with us to balance his crazy life in Frome. He however is ensconced in his life so much that he believes the crap she comes out with and indeed his own propaganda. The one thing I know for a fact though is that if he carries on with her in this way he has no hope for a normal future. She has a lot to answer for. Let’s hope she gets her comeuppance really soon. She is an evil woman..