We have just returned from Majorca. It was meant to be 10 days of rest, sun and fun. It was ok. It rained 6 days out of the 10. Some of it really heavy. Thunder, lightening and flash floods. With shorts and sandal in the suitcase it wasn't that great.
The worst bit though was the food.
We stayed at
Hotel Playa Golf in Playa De Palma. Right on the beach and four stars. We decided to go half board. No nasty shocks with the food bills! Hmmm
We are both vegetarians. The first night we arrived at dinner and looked around. The food was plentiful. For meat and fish eaters there was every kind of meat and fish you could imagine. But for us? Well chips and side salad and.... umm well some squares of cheese and some courgettes in batter. OK. We ate.
Over the ten days the situation got worse. I informed the chef and head waiter we were vegetarian. You'd think I was an alien. They didn't seem to understand or comprehend that some people didn't eat meat OR fish.
The next night I asked if the tomato sauce with the pasta was meat free. No it had beef in it. However the next night the head waiter excitedly informed me the pasta sauce was vegetarian. Oh good, I went over to get some to find the pasta dish accompanying it was ravioli. With beef in the middle. Duh!
I began to dread going to dinner. One night the only options were Chips side salad and carrots. I thought that couldn't get much worse but the next night and every night after that they added meat TO the vegetables! Cut beans with slices of ham. Corn, peas and bits of what looked like chicken. They even took away our ability to have vegetables! They had salads, egg mayo salads with SHELL FISH!, potato salad with German sausage.
Pizza! out of 10 days it had ham on for 8 of them. 2 nights were just cheese,
I cannot believe the Spanish are so backwards in thinking that vegetarians either do not exist or aren't worth catering for. I have a Spanish sister in law whose a vegetarian.
Also the hotel were well aware we didn't eat meat. You'd think they would have done something?
I do not recommend this hotel one little bit!
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Trains
We just got back from a lovely day in London. We went to Bodyworlds and a mexican restaurant and Trafalgar square and China town. However the journey down was completely stressy due to a woman called Rosy Daniel. I do hope she occasionally goggles her name and sees this. She got on the train in Bath and sat opposite us on our prebooked table.
From the moment she got on the train she was on the phone. She was quite loud and persistant. Everyone was darling or sweetheart. She was a doctor and worked for a company that deals with a holistic approach to cancer. Some herbal indian remedy that seems to work in some cancers.
She was on the phone for 90 minutes. I know her girls names, what school they go to, what their headteacher is called. That one of them recently won an appeal to get into another school (which I know the name of) that someone has sold two shares in her company. That a man called Lambert had donated loads of money to her charity. Her email address, that she's organising some charity gigs for cancer with coldplay snowpatrol and her friend has excellent contacts with Portishead. The list is endless. I wanted to move but was far too polite.
On the way back we were in the quiet carriage. Now I applaud those carriages after Rosy Daniel.
I'm sure she is a very decent hard working lady but crikey, Information limitation woman!
From the moment she got on the train she was on the phone. She was quite loud and persistant. Everyone was darling or sweetheart. She was a doctor and worked for a company that deals with a holistic approach to cancer. Some herbal indian remedy that seems to work in some cancers.
She was on the phone for 90 minutes. I know her girls names, what school they go to, what their headteacher is called. That one of them recently won an appeal to get into another school (which I know the name of) that someone has sold two shares in her company. That a man called Lambert had donated loads of money to her charity. Her email address, that she's organising some charity gigs for cancer with coldplay snowpatrol and her friend has excellent contacts with Portishead. The list is endless. I wanted to move but was far too polite.
On the way back we were in the quiet carriage. Now I applaud those carriages after Rosy Daniel.
I'm sure she is a very decent hard working lady but crikey, Information limitation woman!
Mad life
Steve pointed out today that I haven’t blogged for several months. It’s not that stuff hasn’t happened worthy of blogging, oh yes stuff has happened in handfuls. But the need to tell the world via the net about it has faded. Shame really because as a diary resource this is good. Though sometimes on reflection painful. Was I REALLY like that? Did I REALLY do that... crikey!
Last year was a whirlpool of blood guts and champagne.
You know I never had any intention of remarrying. The marriage game was not for me. Done it before, it left a bad taste. I didn’t feel the piece of paper tying you up to someone was necessary. If you love and care about them you’ll stay with them.
But I hadn’t reckoned with Steve’s ex wife. Ex is a sociopath. She has no people skills at all. She is self centered and mad. Totally nuts actually. Believe me. I know all about nuts.
From the day we met I felt this underlying force that was controlling Steve and their son (W). Little things, little bits were said and done but I knew, however. that I was a major issue for her. It seemed that Ex was adamant that we were NOT to wed. There is the mind of a deranged woman. That she actually though that she could influence Steve in that way. But she did think it and her weapon was W. Her threat, if you do not do as I say you will never have anything to do with him again. But she couldn’t just initiate this without appearing totally nuts. It had to be done with subtlety... well as subtly as a megalomaniac can act. She had a receptive sponge in W. Stinging from the change in his lfe, having to share his father and not being the centre of attention he readily lapped up her vicious propaganda. He told us that they talked about me all the time, I was the constant topic. They talked about how to topple me, how they wanted Steve to leave me and life to return as it was. He also had a great resource pool in his great love of drama like Eastenders, Holby City and Casualty. Research has recently shown that children exposed to this so called drama find it hard to entangle it from reality. They become anxious and unsettled. Wulfric is allowed to watch these programmes in a loop. They are taped and he listens to them over and over.
One day on the telephone W told Steve that at the weekend I had hit him, he didn’t of course say at the time but went home told his mother who demanded he say something. However he couldn’t say when the assault had happened, why or had any reasoning. Over the next few months as the wedding approached I had Hit him ,stamped repeatedly on his feet, tried to hit him down the stairs, burnt him with an iron and then le piece de resistance Poisoned his food.
He told us he had even rang childline encouraged by this mother.
We also noticed that if something happened on Casualty it also ‘happened’ to him.
We had an issue with food one weekend because his mother forbid him from eating french bread because of the ‘well known’ link between french bread and constipation. As Steve put it of course the French population are well known for their constipated bowels!
I don’t really wish to discuss W’s personal stuff here but that woman is convinced he has something major wrong with him and has been known to give him 10 sachets of laxatives in one go. As a kids nurse it seems that people obsessed either with their own bowels or their children’s tend to be a little unhinged.
Wulfric also told us she had told him he had a hole in the heart. This is completely untrue. What is the woman on?
For his 13th birthday we bought him an iPod shuffle which he loved. She brought him a ball pool. For age 12 months to 3 years. We did him a party with school mates and peers. She had him a printer party (W had a bit of a thing with printer noises) She had a table. He sat at the top and on the other 5 seats sat a printer, his friends! Printers? He also had a tee shirt made with a printer on it.
Luckily we broke the printer fixation after W broke apart a brand new printer Steve had brought here that we’d had 24 hours.
We moved him away from printer noises to music... much better agreed? :)
So the wedding loomed. W became more distant and rude. The way he spoke to us was awful. The girls were horrified, that someone would come to our home and talk to their mum like that. He didn’t send his dad a fathers day card or even ring. When asked why he said he didn’t wish to.
The wedding day was lovely. My dear friend Marie was allocated to look after W. In a way where he was never left alone, needing anything, his needs were met and more. She is lovely and adores him and he likes her. We all got on the coach to Bath, Steve took a picture of the flowers. W began to get cross. He said his dad never ever takes pictures of him anymore. Steve laughed as he’s always taking pix of him. We have hundreds of them.
Interesting though that as the day went on W got upset. A lot of the pictures have him crying a little. He said he didn’t want his picture taken. Marie took him away to the hotel after a while and got him drink and sweets and they sat quietly talking about stuff. She said they had a lot of fun. Steve also spent time with him and in the evening party Steve sat with him most of the night.
Sadly after that things crumbled. We saw him twice after. He refused to come to France with us saying he had been before then a few days before we went changed his mind. But it was too late, the tickets had been set and he couldn’t come. According to his mother he was desperate to come but Steve spoke to him and really he did not want to come, he reiterated that he had been before.
We saw him in August 2008. We had organised it for the Friday evening but apparently his mother had an engagement on the Thursday night and he wanted to come then. I work a very long day Thursdays. I said it was ok but he had to behave himself. I couldn’t cope with him being vile. We arranged to pick him up from Radstock at 7pm. His mother had NEVER offered to help with the partial driving before so she MUST have been desperate to get rid of him that night.
However after that initial phone call he didn’t ring again and I was not surprised when he didn’t turn up on the Thursday. Steve was upset and finally getting through to the Nuthouse in Frome we found out they’d gone to the wrong car park, we had to drive all the way to Frome to get him. He got in the car. I asked why he hadn’t rang for 4 days as if he had rang we could have made sure he knew the right car park and avoided all the upset. He immediately screamed at me. How dare I ask him to behave on the phone. Who did I think I was, he was not to be asked to behave. We did have an argument for a few minutes as I was so cross. How can a child of 14 be allowed to get away with such crap, talking to me like dirt and being so obnoxious? But are not an arguing couple. Me and Steve have never had a cross word in 3 years, ever. The argument stopped and wasn’t referred to again. We had a good weekend. We took him to a spectacular play at a school near Swindon with drums, and banging and lights. He squealed with delight. He went on the swings and stroked the horses there. The sun shone and it was lovely.
We took him back and that was the last time we saw him.
He says he never wants to see us again, he hates his dad and if he ever saw me again he’d like to stab me.
He also wants nothing to do with his extended family.
We have been to a solicitor. She was so lovely. In telling this to people you always either get an incredulous look or people think it’s so complex and mad they don’t want to hear it.
She said she’s sure Ex is mad. She is pulling his strings and influencing him. It was deeply therapeutic to see her and worth the £300. So what now? The solicitor says he desperately needs to have contact with us to balance his crazy life in Frome. He however is ensconced in his life so much that he believes the crap she comes out with and indeed his own propaganda. The one thing I know for a fact though is that if he carries on with her in this way he has no hope for a normal future. She has a lot to answer for. Let’s hope she gets her comeuppance really soon. She is an evil woman..
Last year was a whirlpool of blood guts and champagne.
You know I never had any intention of remarrying. The marriage game was not for me. Done it before, it left a bad taste. I didn’t feel the piece of paper tying you up to someone was necessary. If you love and care about them you’ll stay with them.
But I hadn’t reckoned with Steve’s ex wife. Ex is a sociopath. She has no people skills at all. She is self centered and mad. Totally nuts actually. Believe me. I know all about nuts.
From the day we met I felt this underlying force that was controlling Steve and their son (W). Little things, little bits were said and done but I knew, however. that I was a major issue for her. It seemed that Ex was adamant that we were NOT to wed. There is the mind of a deranged woman. That she actually though that she could influence Steve in that way. But she did think it and her weapon was W. Her threat, if you do not do as I say you will never have anything to do with him again. But she couldn’t just initiate this without appearing totally nuts. It had to be done with subtlety... well as subtly as a megalomaniac can act. She had a receptive sponge in W. Stinging from the change in his lfe, having to share his father and not being the centre of attention he readily lapped up her vicious propaganda. He told us that they talked about me all the time, I was the constant topic. They talked about how to topple me, how they wanted Steve to leave me and life to return as it was. He also had a great resource pool in his great love of drama like Eastenders, Holby City and Casualty. Research has recently shown that children exposed to this so called drama find it hard to entangle it from reality. They become anxious and unsettled. Wulfric is allowed to watch these programmes in a loop. They are taped and he listens to them over and over.
One day on the telephone W told Steve that at the weekend I had hit him, he didn’t of course say at the time but went home told his mother who demanded he say something. However he couldn’t say when the assault had happened, why or had any reasoning. Over the next few months as the wedding approached I had Hit him ,stamped repeatedly on his feet, tried to hit him down the stairs, burnt him with an iron and then le piece de resistance Poisoned his food.
He told us he had even rang childline encouraged by this mother.
We also noticed that if something happened on Casualty it also ‘happened’ to him.
We had an issue with food one weekend because his mother forbid him from eating french bread because of the ‘well known’ link between french bread and constipation. As Steve put it of course the French population are well known for their constipated bowels!
I don’t really wish to discuss W’s personal stuff here but that woman is convinced he has something major wrong with him and has been known to give him 10 sachets of laxatives in one go. As a kids nurse it seems that people obsessed either with their own bowels or their children’s tend to be a little unhinged.
Wulfric also told us she had told him he had a hole in the heart. This is completely untrue. What is the woman on?
For his 13th birthday we bought him an iPod shuffle which he loved. She brought him a ball pool. For age 12 months to 3 years. We did him a party with school mates and peers. She had him a printer party (W had a bit of a thing with printer noises) She had a table. He sat at the top and on the other 5 seats sat a printer, his friends! Printers? He also had a tee shirt made with a printer on it.
Luckily we broke the printer fixation after W broke apart a brand new printer Steve had brought here that we’d had 24 hours.
We moved him away from printer noises to music... much better agreed? :)
So the wedding loomed. W became more distant and rude. The way he spoke to us was awful. The girls were horrified, that someone would come to our home and talk to their mum like that. He didn’t send his dad a fathers day card or even ring. When asked why he said he didn’t wish to.
The wedding day was lovely. My dear friend Marie was allocated to look after W. In a way where he was never left alone, needing anything, his needs were met and more. She is lovely and adores him and he likes her. We all got on the coach to Bath, Steve took a picture of the flowers. W began to get cross. He said his dad never ever takes pictures of him anymore. Steve laughed as he’s always taking pix of him. We have hundreds of them.
Interesting though that as the day went on W got upset. A lot of the pictures have him crying a little. He said he didn’t want his picture taken. Marie took him away to the hotel after a while and got him drink and sweets and they sat quietly talking about stuff. She said they had a lot of fun. Steve also spent time with him and in the evening party Steve sat with him most of the night.
Sadly after that things crumbled. We saw him twice after. He refused to come to France with us saying he had been before then a few days before we went changed his mind. But it was too late, the tickets had been set and he couldn’t come. According to his mother he was desperate to come but Steve spoke to him and really he did not want to come, he reiterated that he had been before.
We saw him in August 2008. We had organised it for the Friday evening but apparently his mother had an engagement on the Thursday night and he wanted to come then. I work a very long day Thursdays. I said it was ok but he had to behave himself. I couldn’t cope with him being vile. We arranged to pick him up from Radstock at 7pm. His mother had NEVER offered to help with the partial driving before so she MUST have been desperate to get rid of him that night.
However after that initial phone call he didn’t ring again and I was not surprised when he didn’t turn up on the Thursday. Steve was upset and finally getting through to the Nuthouse in Frome we found out they’d gone to the wrong car park, we had to drive all the way to Frome to get him. He got in the car. I asked why he hadn’t rang for 4 days as if he had rang we could have made sure he knew the right car park and avoided all the upset. He immediately screamed at me. How dare I ask him to behave on the phone. Who did I think I was, he was not to be asked to behave. We did have an argument for a few minutes as I was so cross. How can a child of 14 be allowed to get away with such crap, talking to me like dirt and being so obnoxious? But are not an arguing couple. Me and Steve have never had a cross word in 3 years, ever. The argument stopped and wasn’t referred to again. We had a good weekend. We took him to a spectacular play at a school near Swindon with drums, and banging and lights. He squealed with delight. He went on the swings and stroked the horses there. The sun shone and it was lovely.
We took him back and that was the last time we saw him.
He says he never wants to see us again, he hates his dad and if he ever saw me again he’d like to stab me.
He also wants nothing to do with his extended family.
We have been to a solicitor. She was so lovely. In telling this to people you always either get an incredulous look or people think it’s so complex and mad they don’t want to hear it.
She said she’s sure Ex is mad. She is pulling his strings and influencing him. It was deeply therapeutic to see her and worth the £300. So what now? The solicitor says he desperately needs to have contact with us to balance his crazy life in Frome. He however is ensconced in his life so much that he believes the crap she comes out with and indeed his own propaganda. The one thing I know for a fact though is that if he carries on with her in this way he has no hope for a normal future. She has a lot to answer for. Let’s hope she gets her comeuppance really soon. She is an evil woman..
Saturday, March 21, 2009
human rights
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7956450.stm
I have been in many a situation when a child's ventilatory support has been removed. It is never an easy decision. It is always made with the parents and relatives fully informed and part of the decision. Doctors DO NOT remove ventilators because of cost! I watched in horror as Ruth Winston-Jones lamented the doctors who had looked after her child Luke. Accusing them of wanting him to die because of Money. He was costing too much to stay alive. Personally I would sue this embittered woman. What a wicked thing to insinuate.
As paediatric nurses we are our children's advocates. We will go where the parents dare not. I have questioned doctors, disagreed with things and bloody well told them. Parents are too close. Of course they don't want the child, not matter now fragile their cling to life, to die. I cannot begin to imagine the horror of losing your precious child. But sometimes the child's life is so horrific. Attached to a ventilator. Having air forced through your lungs. Noises lights everywhere. Drips and drugs. Having tubes inserted down your throat to suck out secretions. Where is the quality of life? There is no comparison to a normal child's life.
No hope of survival, no cure, just a parents love willing him to carry on as long as possible to delay the terrible pain of loss as long as possible. How can that be fair?
I feel deeply sad for them. They will, like Mrs Winston-Jones, never get over this. The hospital staff will feel like they have failed. Not failed in their care of the baby, but failed the parents. They weren't able to reach a joint decision that was to the best interest of their baby.
I'm just glad I'm not the one who has to remove the tubes.
Dx
I have been in many a situation when a child's ventilatory support has been removed. It is never an easy decision. It is always made with the parents and relatives fully informed and part of the decision. Doctors DO NOT remove ventilators because of cost! I watched in horror as Ruth Winston-Jones lamented the doctors who had looked after her child Luke. Accusing them of wanting him to die because of Money. He was costing too much to stay alive. Personally I would sue this embittered woman. What a wicked thing to insinuate.
As paediatric nurses we are our children's advocates. We will go where the parents dare not. I have questioned doctors, disagreed with things and bloody well told them. Parents are too close. Of course they don't want the child, not matter now fragile their cling to life, to die. I cannot begin to imagine the horror of losing your precious child. But sometimes the child's life is so horrific. Attached to a ventilator. Having air forced through your lungs. Noises lights everywhere. Drips and drugs. Having tubes inserted down your throat to suck out secretions. Where is the quality of life? There is no comparison to a normal child's life.
No hope of survival, no cure, just a parents love willing him to carry on as long as possible to delay the terrible pain of loss as long as possible. How can that be fair?
I feel deeply sad for them. They will, like Mrs Winston-Jones, never get over this. The hospital staff will feel like they have failed. Not failed in their care of the baby, but failed the parents. They weren't able to reach a joint decision that was to the best interest of their baby.
I'm just glad I'm not the one who has to remove the tubes.
Dx
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Unfair
I've felt sad this week. Danielle told me a while back that a friend of hers was ill. It was suspected some form of cancer. CANCER, the big nasty word. Reassurance that lots of people were saved and he was a child, they'd try very hard to help him. His name was Jamie Fish. He was born on the same day as Danielle. He was diagnosed with a form of cancer Christmas Day and died yesterday 2nd March 2009. 15 years and 1 month.
It has hit Danz hard. She is distraught. They went to Venice and France together, they sat on the plane together. But it's the knowledge that people of her age do die. That terrible things happen not to strangers but people she knows.
He seemed like such a lovely boy. No one had a bad thing to say about him. Everyone loved him and he was always happy and positive. Danielle gave me a run down of each individual teacher who'd broken down and cried yesterday to my bemused face. I'd thought it odd how she seemed to take heart in seeing them upset but I now understand, in retrospect it was that they are human. They are just like her, they care. They genuinely liked Jamie and are truly upset that he has gone.
I have seen many children die. I have switched of life support and been the one to tell the family their beloved child has died. It never gets any easier. There is no magic way you can tell yourself to cope. But remember that as awful this tragedy is and as terrible you feel this isn't your child. This is their child and your grief cannot overtake theirs.
I cannot imagine how Jamie's mum is coping today. I looked at the girls last night and wondered if I'd noticed if they were that ill? We seem so busy everyday now. Gone are the days of playing and doing loads of stuff together. But to lose one of them would be unthinkable.
So my sadness seamlessly sweeps towards Steve. We haven't seen Wulfric properly for 6 months now. Wulfric isn't dead. He is very much alive and choosing along with his stupid mother to cut us off from his life.
Life isn't fair is it?
Jamie, I hope your next life is worthy of you mate. I hope you live a long and happy one with much love, kids, and fun. Everything you missed in this one.
It has hit Danz hard. She is distraught. They went to Venice and France together, they sat on the plane together. But it's the knowledge that people of her age do die. That terrible things happen not to strangers but people she knows.
He seemed like such a lovely boy. No one had a bad thing to say about him. Everyone loved him and he was always happy and positive. Danielle gave me a run down of each individual teacher who'd broken down and cried yesterday to my bemused face. I'd thought it odd how she seemed to take heart in seeing them upset but I now understand, in retrospect it was that they are human. They are just like her, they care. They genuinely liked Jamie and are truly upset that he has gone.
I have seen many children die. I have switched of life support and been the one to tell the family their beloved child has died. It never gets any easier. There is no magic way you can tell yourself to cope. But remember that as awful this tragedy is and as terrible you feel this isn't your child. This is their child and your grief cannot overtake theirs.
I cannot imagine how Jamie's mum is coping today. I looked at the girls last night and wondered if I'd noticed if they were that ill? We seem so busy everyday now. Gone are the days of playing and doing loads of stuff together. But to lose one of them would be unthinkable.
So my sadness seamlessly sweeps towards Steve. We haven't seen Wulfric properly for 6 months now. Wulfric isn't dead. He is very much alive and choosing along with his stupid mother to cut us off from his life.
Life isn't fair is it?
Jamie, I hope your next life is worthy of you mate. I hope you live a long and happy one with much love, kids, and fun. Everything you missed in this one.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
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