Christmas Parties!

This is a quickie! I'm so tired and have to work 12 hour shift tomorrow.
I went out for a Christmas Meal tonight. We couldn't get booked in anywhere on short notice all bar the Happy Cocks in Whitchurch.
This is one of the Hungry Horse chains and actually not a particularly good one. But the pub was clean and had some tinsel shoved round it....Festively ;P
And it was cheap to eat!
Our waitress was a tiny girl with a bright yellow shirt on with a cartoon horse embroidered to her chest. We had matching paper napkins, crackers and tablecloth! Very posh.
To start I had some Caesar salad thing. Heavens knows what it was though. Mine came with what looked like half a ton of cut grass on it and around the sides of the dish. Someone said it was herbs. I brushed them off on to the table. Main course was Turkey of course. The Gravy was so heavily salted most people didn't eat it. We complained and the manager.... Friendly guy with no teeth said 'Most people round 'ere like lots of salt'.
Dessert was Christmas pud, which was ok. One girl had the Irish truffle, which was a small slice of some Sara Lee frozen thing with a curly wurly on top dusted with icing sugar. Because of our salty gravy, the toothless guy came out and gave us all a curly wurly. Just after I finished educating some of them as to how much fun you can have with one of the plaited choc bars (use your imagination Barney) this caused much laughter.
Also they didn't know what FM boots were (innocents) and one girl recited how her child had said 'Frigging' the day before and everyone was horrified (I kept quiet about Abby's Fuck off School Language!)
OMG I just remembered we never had a mince pie. That was part of the deal. Well that's ruined Christmas now!
I told everyone to remember me to their husbands. They all fancy me of course. One guy left his house keys (innocently I add) in my bedroom one Christmas Eve and never lived it down since (Don't think he's been allowed out since either).
Why do women with daughters always end up talking about their kids menstruation when we go out? Bloody obsessed I say. Someone told the story of Abbys old school having sex Ed classes with the Sex Nurse. She gave out samples of Always Ultra to take home and look at. On the way home they all undid the packets and stuck them really artistically over the headmaster's car. How thoughtful.