What were they thinking?

Eastbourne Downs PCT sexual health group.
Found on the Holy Moly newsletter.... and made me laugh.
The 'Sexual health action group' for Eastbourne Downs NHS Trust.
Think about it... shouldn't take long.

bounce with your lord

It always amazes me that people would actually buy this religious crap. Just because it has the name of Jess on it makes it no better than the usual plastic rubbish you can buy from markets. In fact the insidious meaning behind it makes it worse. Least with a plastic England Car Flag there's no message except... Hey I'm a prat for supporting our over paid untalented team.
Anyways.... This made me cringe. A plastic 'Walking With Jesus' beach ball. So you can remember your saviour even with sand beneath your toesies.
(what IS that green 4 leaf thing with the stick growing out of it on that ball?)

PS Thanks to Grumblemag for bringing THIS to my attention.WTF?

naughty me

Not strictly sure this is allowed, but feeling rebellious. I was asked to remove the stuff about the event we attended this year.... Bit confused as to why but I did it. But I had some really lovely pix of the girls... Wanted to share them.
Christa arrived today... I haven't even met her yet, she's off Ten Pin Bowling and sampling English cuisine (MacDonalds). I think this MUST be so different from St Lucia though. The week is so jam packed with events I think she'll go back exhausted!
Bailey is being very odd today. I'm not sure she's well. She's all clingy and wants her mum.
Maybe she's just missing Hampy whose been banished to my parents for the week because of the noise and mess he causes (maybe he'll stay there FOREVER HAHAHAAA)

snippets

Tuesday evening. Why do my days off go so quickly? I spent most of the day cutting out heart shapes for Rainbow Guides.
Abby's on the laptop again. She keeps asking me how to spell stuff. At first I was kind of pleased that she WANTED to spell correctly. Now I wonder whom she's talking to that makes her wish to spell correctly. Remember when she asked to get a passport so her and Danika could go visit the 'nice' Egyptian boy they'd met online and invited them to spend a nice week in that sweet little country... hmmmm.
I had some prints done in Boots today for Rainbows and took one off of Spring. When Abby got home it was sitting on the TV. She had a fit and said she couldn't STAND looking at that all the time. After hiding it once and me putting it back she conceded that at least no one would nick the TV. It was a handy guard dog.
She is so naughty. Wonder where she gets that from?
The St Lucian child comes tomorrow..... Great! I'm on a late so my parents have to pick her up and drop her back here. In some ways she may feel more chilled just here with Abby. Hope so anyways.
One more day till pay day! And 28 days till I'm no longer a toothless hag!
Plus Spring says we might go away for a weekend in August. I want to go 11th and 12th August. We'll see.
Danz has gone to see Miss Saigon with my mum..... Abby didn't want to go.
Hope you're all ok out there. Keep in touch and don't forget me ok?
kisses
xxx

godly cloth

A post on behalf of dear Collette. She wanted me to pass comment on how elderly church going ladies really KNOW how to look after a tee-towel. These pieces of working cotton have seen some life. Christenings, wakes, fetes and Beetle drives. But they still look fresh and white.
Now compare mine and Collette's tee-towels and you'd be shocked. Old yellowing bits of thread, some rather odd stains that we won't mention. And as for being pressed?
I think we should join the Mothers Union. Learn how to maintain pristine tee towels. Get some real meaning to life.
This is the gospel according to Collette.

punishment

So what happens when you light tee light candles then won't leave them alone and dip the hot orangy wax over?
This is Spring doing his punishment time on the floor.
Whilst Trin sat sipping Pimms and eating champagne truffles (incidentally haven't had any of those for a while hint hint) relaxing in the summer evening sunshine.
We're off to Witchfest this Saturday. Spring is hoping for a mass Christian protest outside so he can altercate with them. The last Christian protest they had though had some very odd little women who wouldn't have listened to the pope let alone a lowly councillor.
Not seeing Spring this week. He is busy with 'other' matters. I miss him. 'Other' matters shouldn't be allowed I'm afraid.
Off to Rainbows...... it's the 'Queen of Hearts' evening. Off with their heads!

busy busy

I have a very busy week ahead. Back at work today after the week off. I seem to have had more holidays than ever this past few weeks. To be honest I'll be glad to get back into the work normality again. I can't see Spring all week. He's busy when I'm free and vice versa. We've been seeing each other 8 weeks now. I guess I still haven't put him off.
I have psychiatry this morning... Yet another different consultant. I guess the Italian one has left. None of them last too long.
The St Lucian kids come on Wednesday. I feel it's been sprung on me a bit. We haven't had a single meeting at school to tell us what's expected of us. Just an itinery of what time to drop them places and collect them. I spent Saturday clearing Danz room... beating a pathway to the bed so she can sleep there. I have no idea how she collects such a lot of crap in her room. Trouble is with our stupid rubbish rules in Bristol, I have no idea how I'm going to get rid of the black bags full of rubbish. We had a baby rat in the house on Sunday. I don't know if it got in or Bailey brought it in... Gift time. My neighbour got rid of it for me in the end.
Abby's very last exam this morning.... Relief all round. That was my best time ever... The summer after exams. No pressure and lots of time to do what I wanted.
I reckon I'll miss Spring this week. Next time I see him will be next weekend at Witchfest. Hope it's not too hot. Last year was unbearable. You'd think witches could do something about the weather :)

happy fathers day

Father's Day.... yipeee (bunch of commercialised crap) Sooo how many of you fine men had one of those lovely dad compilation CD's?
Come on own up.
Lallalallalaaaaa

summer gigs

Embrace June 2006 Westonbirt. A hot summers evening, nice countryside the journey down in the car without the roof.... Lots of fun.
We were stopped by the cops on the way. An elderly gentleman had escaped from the local care home, they were searching for him. The helicopter was up and police with torches and bullet proof vests out looking. I was extremely worried they would mistake Spring for the very old man. But it seems the old guy was even older than Spring.... Luckily.

Here is Spring looking like he's sooooo enjoying the whole debacle. Note the old blue sheet he brought for us to sit on..... hmmmm

Here were our neighbours. They had champagne, strawberries, tupperware glasses and containers, a Buddha candle and a lovely red tarton blanket. In fact everyone had proper tarton blankets, various colours, some reversible, soft and warm, padded and posh, fringed and fluffy.
And we had??? An old cotton sheet with paint marks on it.
How classy.


But we did have a the best view ever.

Ok... As for Embrace? They were ok. The sound was good but they weren't enigmatic enough for me. The lead singer was a bit of a tosser to be frank. He said some very odd things about over 40 year olds and I think he was a bit stoned or something. He said he was fucking blown away to be in front of an audience of 8 to 10 thousand people. The venue max was 4000 and it wasn't sold out. The audience were really diverse, the age range was babies to looking pretty old. They played that awful football song.... Which has done their street cred no good what so ever.
The foursome next to us (wife swappers if ever I saw some with matching tartan blankets) kept hugging and even the men knew all the words. I always find that a bit odd that couples even share the exact taste in music to the point of knowing all the lyrics. I've never found anyone to match my taste. The ex used to like 50's music.
It was ok though, it was a lush evening and the setting was perfect. Shame the one and only burger van had a queue of about 150 deep and the beer tent was even worse.
Nice portaloo's though, I guess you get a better class of clientele at an Embrace gig. They know how to flush a loo.
ummmmm Click for another 'version' of events....

tomorrow

"And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone
On everyone..."

Embrace 2005

Forestry Commission - Westonbirt Arboretum - EMBRACE

This is where me and Spring are going tomorrow evening. Hope it's a really hot summers evening. I'm missing the Grace Eviction so it better be bloody good!!!
Springs driving. We went out for lunch in the car with the top off today... Bless him ,he got up and took Abby to school in the topless car and we picked Danz up so she wasn't left out (they went to school at different times) Danz's face was a picture when we stopped to get her. She was thrilled. Doesn't take a lot to please her.
Hmm Embrace? Not sure about the official England song though guys.... One to forget I think.

party party!

My summer punch is excellent, I think it's all the fruit that makes it so ace though really.... It looks pretty too. The recipe? If I told you I'd have to kill you.

Abby's cake was a picture cake. She was not best pleased to find herself age two in a Postman Pat van.... Ha!
She had quite a lot of money for gifts. Some cinema Vouchers, some excellent CD's (that I like too!) and of course the chocolate fountain.
We'd had a rather embarrassing moment the night before when she'd come down stairs and found Spring naked in the front room. It was hot. He'd undressed... No big deal. We weren't being naughty (I can assure you)
When Spring arrived she told EVERYONE to watch out he didn't strip. Poor Spring. He's not used to teenage girls. But he coped rather well.
The party had to stop at 9pm for Big Brother of course.
I'm fairy sure Spring is hooked on BB now. He was laughing at it.
Ha.... outted Councillor.
A glass of Baileys and he's anyone's.

everyone HAS to get one!

Yesterday was Abby's 16th Birthday party and I'd been hoping for a really sunny nice day... But as luck would have it, it was overcast all day. Oh well, I could cope couldn't I?
I spent the day shopping and cleaning (I did have a debt advice appt which went well though) Abby came home from school early after her science exam.
We were having Pizza, chocolate fountain and Summer cider punch.
After the last party I was really nervous, but I needn't have been. The kids were really cool and fun and chilled. Even with alcohol (a touch) they were ace.

So here is the chocolate fountain.It was very easy to set up, smelt gorgeous and I put strawberries, marks and spencers biscuit curls, marshmallows, bananas and apple to dip in.

It was by far the most popular bit of the party. Dan rarely moved from it and threatened to dip his toes in it later in the evening...... eeek.

Ummmmm, half way through the night I refilled the chocolate tray and there was a massive chocolate explosion. This picture actually doesn't do it justice. The new chocolate slid under the screws and it slipped out. The rotating motion sprayed chocolate all around the kitchen, over the curtains, carpet and wallpaper. I was plastered.... But it wasn't the end of the world. Spring had arrived just at the right moment, and he and Dan (he'll make someone a lush husband) helped clear it up.... Really well.
And it was sooo funny.
But be careful if you refill yours ok?
BTW If you come round and find a brown stain anywhere...It's sodding chocolate....!

baby love

She was so tiny. 6lb 6oz and she'd been hell to make. She made me sick for 8 months. But on 14th June 1990 at 11.34 am at 35 weeks gestation, she was worth every second.
My baby is 16 today.
Happy Birthday Abigail.
Loves you for ever.

peter crouch in lederhosen

Bloody football songs on all the time. Over and over. Damned Chris Moyles has the most annoying one which repeats his name over and over again.
But we do have a Bristol one sung by the Wurzels and a few others called "Peter Crouch in Lederhosen" which is actually very funny. Well done, with lots of little extras.... you really need to download it. Listen here!

"Guten morgan Mister German,
Ist der ein pub nearby?
Ich Komme from Bristol, Bristol,
Can I have a pork pie, pork pie

Kevin Keegan, Bobby Charlton,
And Gazza' s magic feet
Geoff Hurst's a Wembley hat-trick hero
Maradonna is a Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!

Gonna eat pasties in Germany
Gonna drink cider with Wayne Rooney
Cos his metatarsal's broken
It's Peter Crouch in Lederhosen [Refrain...]

Thierry Henry lives in Hartcliffe,
Next door to Zinedine Zidane
Ronaldinho lives in Nemptnet Thrubwell
Down the road from my Nan, my Nan.

Stevie G & Fat Frankie
Bendy Beckham free kicks
Rooney's injured but we got that Joe Cole
Erickson should go for 4-5-1 with Michael Carrick in the holding role


Gonna eat pasties in Germany
Gonna drink cider with Wayne Rooney
Cos his metatarsal's broken
It's Peter Crouch in Lederhosen

We always go out on penalties
To the Argies or Germany
We may not have that Wayne Rooney
We've got Rio and John Terry
And Gary Neville...

Gonna eat pasties in Germany
Gonna drink cider with Wayne Rooney
Cos his metatarsal's broken
It's Peter Crouch in Lederhosen"

hot days

Last night on the patio surrounded by candles and a big glass of Pimms was just perfect. Such a hot night though. I'm sure that's why I'm doubly impatient. The heat drives me nuts.
I am rather pissy tonight. I yelled at the kids and stormed around the house like a maniac and then fell asleep for an hour..
I'm on holiday this week. You think I'd be chilled. Silly cow!
Damn I love Pimms you know.

But poor Bailey with her huge fur coat is whacked out by the heat. She crashes out all the time. Other times she's plain grumpy. Sounds like me really.
Hope you're all ok out there in the heat. Make the most of it... This is England. It won't last..... Like the football really.

model fun

Well how was I going to cope in a school hall all day with a bunch of anoraks and a heat wave of 30 degrees?
The morning of the Model Train exhibit arrived fine and sunny. I had to drive to Shepton which was an adventure in itself as Spring told me NOT to come off the big road, so I never and ended up in Wells. I was almost going to cry because I was so lost, when I found it.

So, lets play spot the anoraks... Well there were an odd selection of men. Very few women... Well I did note two very thin dressed up women with masses of make up and skinny trousers. I thought I'd grab a picture of a couple. This is the socks and sandals look.

What about the models? Well not my cup of tea but this is a model bus scene. Note the four buses available. Would never happen in real life.

Thought I'd take a nice picture of the jolly Spring and his super busy store. See the real pleasure and enjoyment on his little face?

And finally. A nice shot of the hall. I have to admit it was sooo quiet there. The heat, the football... The Grand Prix (ok Dylan) but the punters off. Most of these people are exhibitors and this was taken at 2pm. You'd think it would be packed. The men were awful enthusiastic about there hobby though.
Oh well choo choo.
;)

nooooo

I'm not answering withheld numbers. Yesterday there were several. At 17.10 there was another one. Being fed up with them I answered.
Big mistake.
The voice said "Pilkington.... Arthur here"
OMG A voice from the past and one I didn't ever wish to here again. The Stalker. The guy who sat outside my house once (as far as I know) marking my movements.
He said he was sat on his bed and I popped into his head (yeah right) he wanted to know how I was.
He droned on for 5 minutes about his ailments. His recent time in hospital when he was a deaths door. His loneliness, his car, his ex wife.... blah blah. I was beginning to panic as to how I was going to get rid of him when my neighbour came in to borrow something. I told him I had to go. His last question was "Are you courting yet?" Courting???
I said Yes, and he said he'd call me again sometime and went.

I :heart: dad? hmmm

Well Fathers day is nearly upon us and it's time to wheel out that fabby CD that would make dear old dad a perfect present. Imagine his little chirpy face when next Sunday he opens the paper to find the likes of:
1. Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
2. I Can't Dance - Genesis
3. Peaches - The Stranglers
4. Wild Thing - The Troggs
5. The Best - Tina Turner
6. Driving In My Car - Madness
7. I Get Around - The Beach Boys
8. Motor Bikin' - Chris Spedding
9. Lust For Life - Iggy Pop
10. Summertime Blues - Eddie Cochran
11. Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me) - Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel
12. Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks
13. American Pie - Don McLean
14. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Monty Python
15. Papa Loves To Mambo - Nat 'King' Cole
16. Red Red Wine - UB40
17. Bike - Pink Floyd
18. The Joker - The Steve Miller Band
19. The House Of The Rising Sun - The Animals
20. My Old Man - Ian Dury
21. The Living Years - Mike And The Mechanics

What kind of age group are these people aiming at? A truly dreadful CD with the odd classic gem (well maybe one). Though it's price on Amazon must reflect the quality. £3.96. bargain for that old pa of yours. Tsk It's got PF on there. I'm sure Spring would LOVE a copy!

missing in action

Will he won't he? Apparently there's some question as to whether the kids father will be even sending a card for Abby on Wednesday.
I'm a but tired of it all. It's games. Just playing with emotions and feelings and maturity. I asked her today if she'd be upset if he didn't bother. She said she didn't really care. She'd gone past it.
I hope he does do something though. It would be so very sad.
On a happier note! I'm on holiday for a week.Yay. And it's going to be hot.

enfield local rag...

There was a bad stabbing in these parts last week. A father of three was stabbed to death on his doorstep. Terrible business. It was in the same street my American friend was living up until a few months ago. Glad she's back home now.
But THIS made me smile.

From the Enfield Independant. Note the lovely knife block advert on the right.
Tut tut!

whose opinion?

why do I feel so alone today? Maybe it's the weather. I'm ok I think. I went to the local shops. Everyone was sat around talking and laughing. There was a guy in a motorized wheelchair all dressed in red. He had England flags plastered over the thing. Someone in Iceland yelled across the shop "Who are you supporting this weekend then?" Everyone laughed.
My manager stopped me in work yesterday and asked if I was ok. She'd been concerned about me being quiet. That's a first. Quiet isn't normally associated with me.
I'm very aware that I'm hugely opinionated. Last night Spring told me he was planning to paint his Bathroom bright Orange.
I balked. I hate orange. It's an odd colour. I love red and purple and cerise but orange?
But WTF has it to do with me what colour he wants to paint his bathroom. If he loves orange then he should use orange. How stupid and opinionated of me to even remark on it?
I am opinionated, you probably can tell from this blog. But I dislike it. Why should my view be better than anyone else's?
I try not to pass judgment but I find it so hard. My neighbours have very little money... Bless them. They struggle. I hate seeing it. So last weekend she brings in this animatron Panda she got from Woolworths. It's battery operated and sucks a bottle, burps and makes noises and moves like a panda. She said she saw it, thought it cute and had to have it. It wasn't cheap either.
It was all I could do not to frown and say "Why? You don't need that. What happens if you run out of gas and electric again this month?"
Hmph.I should eat my own words shouldn't I? After all I'm hardly Miss Financially Sensible 2006.
Amusing though how after she went Abby said the exact thing I was thinking. Maybe she won't be such a crap money manager as her mother.
We aren't answering withheld calls on the phone after receiving some worrying threats from people I owe money to.
The kids father uses a withheld number. He just called me to complain bitterly that we never answer the phone. He was using his mobile.
He said he's annoyed that the kids never call him or ask to see him.
I couldn't even be bothered to react.
Get lost loser. You lost them years ago mate. Think on.

melted

Tuesday at Rainbows we took them all to the local ice cream parlour for a treat. We had two girls who were 6 on the 6th of the 6th 2006. Scary!
Collette brought me the most enormous ice cream that splurged over the sides and melted faster than I could eat it. It dripped all over the floor, my clothes, my face. Fifteen 5 and 6 year olds and I was the one covered in ice cream, and she was there with the camera to catch the moment.

bristol traffic hell

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with driving to work in the mornings. Bristol traffic seems to get worse by the day. Yesterday I got stuck behind a scaffolding lorry that either went at 10 miles per hour or went so fast I thought all the poles were going to fall off. The traffic was nose to tail most of the way in. I got nearly to the hospital and a black car (pictured above) parked beside me pulled out suddenly. I stopped. He gave me a filthy look and gestured abuse.
I waited a few seconds for him to finish pulling out but he didn't move. So I pulled forward at the exact moment he decided to pull out again.
He started shouting abuse and being a total dick head. I gestured to let him out and he pulled away.
One question though, where were his fecking indicators?
If he'd indicated I'd have let him out anyways... But I guess when your driving a new black posh car you feel vindicated not to use them? Dickhead.
I parked next to a car brandishing England flags. They're even infiltrating work.
We have one of those Book People drop offs at work. Absolute crap but they do quite well out of us. I noticed yesterday he was selling England car flags at a pound a time.
Work was ok. Horrid vile little doctor is on night duty. I decided to tell him he needs a change of vocation. I decided Mortuary Pathology would suit him. I told the other doctors and they laughed. A nervous little 'what are you like' laugh. He better not come back next week and upset me. I'm ready for him. Bet he drives a black car.
On the way home the chosen vehicle to get stuck behind was a skip lorry. Now they are my most hated things of all. They just stop in the middle of the road with their ugly dirty skips and 'sod off' to the traffic around them. Rude dirty and slow. I managed to over take him on the dual carriageway to find him overtaking me a few minutes after by driving like a maniac and pushing in front of a car, nearly causing a pile up. Then he slowed down and had loads of traffic all queued up behind him. Twat.
Do these people have driving licenses?

hello you lot

A quiet blogging week? I've been stressed out about finances BUT I'm on top of it. I have an appointment with the debt people next week. They call me and were really positive and helpful.
Abby's exams are trundling on. She had maths yesterday. I felt evil when she got back. She said it went terribly. She said there was a big algebra section. They may as well been speaking Russian as she has never heard of the word Algebra before let alone been taught it.
Damn crap school.
She also reeled off a few questions that she had no idea about. I'd say with pretty good conviction that the school has failed her where Maths is concerned!
She wants a chocolate fountain for her birthday. A reminder of our brilliant post office tower day. I can't afford some birthday friends treat for her next week, so I've said she can have a party here.
Remember the last party here? I said never again! But I do like Abby's friends. They're cool and ace and I'm sure we'll be ok. So it's pizza, punch and chocolate fountain next week. And no dramatics. Fingers crossed.

come win with us

South Bristol. Full of patriotic pride and love for our boys in the team. Yeah come on England. So with all this patriotic fever we're bound to win aren't we?

Some of these houses are plastered with flags. We passed one where individual flags were carefully placed all around the roof drain. Spring was impressed but he reckons as soon as we're beaten by some crappy little team like Switzerland they'll be up the drain pipe ripping the things off with vengeance. I think personally that they'll stay up there. Who lets a little defeat upset them?

Even in work we've joined in the football fever with a world cup sweep stake. I haven't succumbed yet but I might join in. All according if I'm in a sociable mood tomorrow.
On Monday Janet came down the ward with a face full of misery. She'd picked out Iran in the sweepstake.
"That's me out then" She hissed.
Then from around the corner came Maggie. Face like thunder and a pound lighter in her purse.
"Waste of bloody money" She moaned "Crap"
Who did you pick out then, we enquired.
"Bloody England"
Fuck.