On the way I was swept with this nausea. Stupid really. I wasn't THAT worried.. was I?
I arrived at 7.50. Parked and hurried up the hill. I got there dead on 8. To my dismay the place was all locked up. A doctor arrived and struggled with the lock and opened it. He wished me luck on my first day. I got in 5 minutes late. The unit manager was there. I saw her look at the clock. I knew I was 5 Min's late but the bloody door was locked.
As the morning went on I realised that the reason she looked at the clock was not that I was late but 1/2 hour early. Hopeless! I was meant to start at 8.30 am. Got confused.
I started unpacking all the stuff we'd brought with us. Toys, equipment, machinery.
My friend Mabel, who'd got the job with me arrived. She was nervous. She was worse than me. Least I'd done outpatients before.
The morning dragged. It was quiet. We sorted out toys and books and saw a few patients but it was a long morning. There were no breaks... no paid ones at all. Very odd. I got sent to dinner at 12.30 with a gaggle of health care assistants who frankly didn't have a decent conversation in them. They had the TV on watch Englebert Humperdink for 10 minutes then the awful Loose Woman lunchtime show.
They chatted about inane stuff like washing and gardens and flying with liquids in your hand luggage.
The afternoon was worse.. far worse. Quiet and so long. I was tired. Up too Early, too stressed and post emotional.
5.15 and it was all done, cleared up and sorted. We wandered round for 15 minutes asking others if they wanted a hand. Nope, no one was busy.
So we went to ask the nurse in charge if we could go.
Now I finished at 6 but bear in mind I'd started work at 8, I reckoned I'd done my hours.
The nurse in charge (who I since find is the same grade as me) was at in an office on the PC playing solitaire.
We told her we'd finished. She asked if everything was done to wish the other nurse who normally works there said yes and got a mouthful because she'd meant the whole of outpatients not just our section.
I was appalled. It was being back at school and asking to use the toilet or something.
I told her I had come in 1/2 hour early so technically had done my hours. She said that was my fault. That I'd done 1/2 hour work in my own time so tough.
I was cross. How long was it since that bitch had done a first day anywhere. I was tired, information overload. I'd done a 9 and 1/2 hour shift and was only used to doing 6 maximum.
We did go home, but without any grace or smiles or pleasant goodbye, hope your first day was good. Nothing like my style of management or personality at all.
Mabel was so upset going back to the cars. She hated it. It was the worst thing she'd ever done. Sad really because it would have only taken a bit of niceness to have made it better.
I went shopping. Got stuff for fajitas because I needed a treat. Spent the evening just worrying about the next day.
Tuesday was better but only because we were sent to the old paeds wards to see if there was anything left we could swipe for the unit. There was a bring and buy sell on.... sort of. A free for all for the hospital. People coming and labelling up equipment and furniture to take away. Some sister from some outlying ward had nabbed nearly everything and was rude in the process. It was so sad. My ward that I'd been on for 20 years or more just ripped apart with vultures arguing over the pickings. My ex manager (Lucy) was there alone. She looked pale and tired. She had the clear the entire place on her own. I was appalled.
We got back and I mentioned to my new manager that I was upset Lucy was being forced to do everything on her own. She said we could go over for the whole afternoon and help her.
At lunchtime Staff Nurse Hitler came round to tell us to go to dinner (yep we are told when to go) I told her we were going to the ward after dinner to help Lucy. She was no pleased. "We'll see about that" She grunted.
Then I discovered that her and the manager actually dislike each other and there's friction all the time. Can I work like that?
We did go over. We worked really hard. Lucy was pleased to see us. I hope we helped her a bit. The day went fast and I got home 1/2 hour early without any trauma.
Now I got 7 days off and I need them. Steve is here all week too. We're going to Littlehampton Friday and the train station most of the weekend.
Not sure I'll like this job at all. I'll have to think of some strategy to deal with SN Hitler. I am not fresh and 21 and inexperienced. I'm used to being autonomous and in charge.
Watch this space.
xxx
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