king ant

A lovely picture for Abby and Spring. Abby's the one sat on the pavement. Spring's stood up telling Abby all about the facinating life of the ant.
You can both thank me later.

sunday things

Spring came round last night. We sat in the garden all evening until it got dark. I was so shocked to see a hedgehog walk across the lawn and hide in some garden rubbish at the end of the garden. It was like we weren't in the middle of some council estate but in the country.
Spring says my blog has been a bit down this week. So I'm trying to be happier.
I am ok, more chilled really. I feel well now. I'm ok with stuff but I am a bit quiet but such a lot has happened this last 2 weeks. I guess it's adjusting to normality again.
Guess what? Spring has to man a train stall at a Model Rail exhibit at Shepton mallet next weekend and wants me to help. I'm sure my expert knowledge of all things anoraky will make me the best possible saleswoman. Hmmmm.

Hope they have a bar.
Collette came round this afternoon. She's got a back eye where some patient punched her. Great Job!
She was talking about an old friend of ours whose daughter has anorexia. She saw her last week and was telling Coll all about the heartache and hard work she'd had just getting someone to understand and listen.
I felt so sorry for her, I can't stop thinking about her. She said no one seems to understand that anorexia is a mental illness. The family just think it's silly and she should just eat and stop this behaviour.
Made me realise that when this has left some distance between me and my silly head, I want to help people. Some sort of self help group. A place where people don't pretend to understand... If they don't they say so. A place where everything is accepted and there's freedom to express and be yourself. Somewhere that doesn't judge or have expectations but somewhere to empower and give you back the reins to your life.
So often... As in this girls case. Her life isn't her own anymore. Instead run by doctors and psychologists and MENTAL ILLNESS. Stigma, confusion,fear and misery.
Maybe one day I can make a difference to someone's life. Oh well,it's a goal and a worthy one I guess.
Happy Sunday all you people out there.
Love you
xxx

bwy?

BWY offish site
Thank goodness we don't live in Norway or we'd be subjected to this trio of trifle sponges.
BWY got their name from their looks. Unbelievably 'Black White and Yellow'.
Crikey. PC doesn't exist in Norway then.
Come back Busted all is forgiven.

bad me

I'm a failure. I realise now just why I've been so down. Money. This month I haven't been able to pay all the bills again. And I'm sliding and I think in a minute I'll be in a pit and the lid will close on me.
So I took a deep breath and wrote to the debt agency again who helped me 5 years ago. I'm not sure they deal with people twice. Maybe one set of advice and your own your own.... Hope not though.
But I need some help. No good sat crying about it.
But I can't afford to get Abby a present for her 16th. She said it doesn't matter. She said she has me and that's all she needs.
My parents are having the house totally decorated and a new kitchen. They rang and asked if they could come for dinner one night as they're living off chip shops. I freaked and said No Way! I can't afford two extra mouths for dinner.
Totally OTT and they probably aren't talking to me now.
I feel better though for getting it in the open, not sat worrying and not sleeping and allowing the anxiety to spill out into other forms of behaviour.
You reckon they help people twice?

poor little mites

"What's that coming over the hill
Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
What's that coming over the hill
Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
What's that coming over the hill
Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
What's that coming over the hill?"

The Automatic (2006)

Bluebell Madonna Halliwell (I prefer Dandelion)

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt (why does this remind me of pound of flesh?)

Suri Holmes-Cruise (Yes Suri! it's true)

Good Grief!

popbitch mail out made me laugh... how long before Shiloh Pitt becomes Pilloh Shitt?
Very clever.

Pretty in Pink

But none too pleased. My Bailey.

flaming national pride

If I see one more stupid car with those ridiculous flags on them I will scream. What is wrong with people? How can anyone have national pride in our poxy ponsy footballers. They earn the entire contents of the bank of England per year. I hate football with passion... but those damn flags? They put one on every door and even one in the back window.
The local Co-op has downgraded to a tiny convenience store. They hardly sell anything anymore... except bloody booze and every fag imaginable. Typical council estate shop. But they have the HUGEST display of car flags, football hats, inflatables, stickers and those foam hands with the pointy finger.
But it's the car flags I hate the most. To see them fluttering in the air as they drive by. Makes me evil. And I'm so sweet normally.
As you know.
:)

a hefty dose of self pity

I'm having a bad day. I think I'm tired. Two weeks off work then back 4 days in a row back with a bang.
I also miss Spring but that in itself makes me feel down. I'm a bit scared that in my feelings of missing him, I've begun to rely on him. And everyone I rely on hurts me at some point.. And they usually piss off and leave me in the end.
Anyways why ever would I assume someone would want to be with me? Look at me today, I'm ugly inside and out.
I've been thinking. Spring and his son are such a good team. Being away the weekend with them and they are so close. I'm not sure there's a place for me around that relationship. Then I feel guilty. What about my own girls. Why isn't our relationship that tight that adding a man to it makes it awkward?
Then the self damnation starts and spirals out of control and I cry and cry until I come full circle to the point where I have no idea how this all started.
I think I may be talking utter rubbish.
I'm watching extreme makeover. Three people wanting plastic surgery to make their lives complete. Incredulously, they are all beautiful before the treatment.
So Trinity what does this teach you?
Shallow is bad
Deep is worse.

jesus with every meal.... yum yum

Jesus Pan - The Original JesusPan:

" JesusPan is made from durable steel and topped with a non-stick coating.
- JesusPan is perfect for holiday meals "

Worship every meal with Jesus Pan....

I must buy one for Spring immediately
/runs to shops for his welcome home gift!

challenging

Back at work after 2 weeks off.... And it's ok. Vile little doctor is off on his holidays to some foreign resort and things seem better with the rest of the medical crew. They actually seemed pleased to see me (maybe I was just in a rosy haze at the time?)
Today was a food challenge day. Three small children in to have hard boiled eggs forced down their gobs to see if they'd achieve a reaction.
Now imagine you are 2 and never eaten eggs before. Now visualise a hard boiled egg. Imagine it sliced up and forced into your little mouth?..... Oh I forgot... Also imagine having to be cannulated with a rather large needle prior to this (just in case they collapse with anaphylaxis)
Needless to say none was successful. They were too young. You couldn't explain stuff to them. Even disguised in chocolate or jam... Eggs still taste like eggs.
It riles me though because the cannulation is always really invasive and traumatic. I personally wouldn't let my kid go through that until they can understand and comply.
But there's more fun to come. Over the next weeks we have a sesame seed, Chick pea and my own personal favourite Lentil challenge. FFS I can understand eggs, nuts and milk.They're hidden in masses of food stuff... But fecking chickpea? Apparently the kid has to ingest half a ton of Humous and Tahini (whatever that is)
This isn't the doctors, this is an insistent parental request.
Sometimes the job can be so challenging!

joy of sex lentils?

My adorable mate Clarrie sent me a special present made just for me.
'The Joy Of Lentils'
..... When Spring returns from darkest Cornwall I'm sure he will be thrilled at her ingenuity.
Hmmmm.

(I hope that's only lentils they're passing from mouth to mouth there......)

:)

sorry

I unintentionally upset one of my bestest friends today.

I didn't mean it. I love them to bits... And they know it. But just but.....

I dunno, life is strange atm. My life is all topsy turvy. Nothing is the same. I guess we all move on and things change. If they didn't life would be very dull. It scares me though. Abby is almost 16 and leaving school. I have a very tentative new relationship to handle. There's going to be massive changes at work soon. George has just left Big Brother..... Could it get any more different.

/sigh.

arrest that woman

The silly little card that worried me. Hilarious really. You are under IMMEDIATE arrest WITHOUT bail.
Please report to the court at 10am either on a Tuesday or Thursday.
I have told the court on at least three occasions that this woman does not live here and hasn't been for at least 4 years.
I haven't rang the number. Don't see the point really.
Hope it's not Trin in handcuffs next.

bank the holiday with the real stories.

So we came home on the train... Actually we spend nearly 4 hours on this poxy little motorised 2 carriage 'train'.
The real story was the boys sat infront of the girls.... One of them shown here. The train was full to busting. Ridiculous. People with small kids trying to sit down. These boys had a table. One sat opposite the other and in the seats by the window were their fucking SKATE BOARDS!!. After a while someone asked them to move the boards so they could sit down.
Guess what? They refused.
I reported them to the guard, but they did nothing. Unbelievable.

Going through Totnes? WTF? Grown men on the platform taking pictures of our train. The poxy little motorised thing. How sad is that?
Bloody train spotters (Spring is the one on the left with the zip up anorak)


Then tonight....... I saw The Beautiful South at the Colston Hall Bristol. The sound was crap. But they were very animated and lively and I sang along.... I'm getting old.

But the Real Story was this woman in the blue nightdress thing. She was there with a group of very drunk 30-40 year old women. The rest of them had been hauled out for a talking to by security at this point.
They were sat just in front of the lighting technicians and they were jumping up in front the lights drunkenly making bunny pictures in the lights and dancing. This particular light was the one on the lead singer who had rather odd light images for a while.
Jeez, I was expecting them to take off their bras. Far more suited to a Robbie Williams concert.
And on that note, goodnight. Hope your Bank Holiday was cool too.

st austell ant power (not powder)

So, away we go on the train to St Austell and caravaning holidays with Spring and Small Spring.
A bit of a massive event in the life of a new couple. The kids meet and eeek spend a few nights in a confined space together.
Well we survived. I'll spare you the gory details but on Sunday morning we were invaded by an enormous ant army. There must have been a few million. Abby (as usual) screamed blue murder and demanded them all dead. Spring (being a passionate pagan) refused and spent several hours saving each individual ant by luring them on to a Cornwall attraction leaflet then flinging them 500 yards on to the hard car park floor. Nice.
Abby got small Spring into trouble when she encouraged him to stamp on them.
So Spring sat down and explained to Abby (with a series of hand actions ;P ) how ants communicate. This caused much hilarity and Abby decided Spring was a total nut job and took the piss out of him for the rest of the weekend.


Anyways.... On to the compulsory 25 mile hike to the 'private beach' which didn't look private to me as there were loads of other buggers and vile kids wandering around down there. Plus, the word 'beach' is a bit misleading. Where was the fine golden sand and blue sea? It was all shingle stuff and slate rock. Oh well, least the kids gave up walking down with us... It was too steep for Abby who gave up and went back. So we got 1/2 hour without any vile kids.

And talk of the devil. Here she is. Queen Ant 2006. She tried to go on the tyre but nearly fell off. A rare and valuable picture of her smiling.
She spent the weekend reciting hymns and prayers to poor spring to wind him up. I never knew she was familiar with so much Christianity. There maybe hope for her English RE GCSE.

an overdose of lentils warning

Museum exhibit. Man in 200 bc (sort of). Aged about 40. Cause of death, Lentil overdose.
Nice teeth though.
Oh the bones were from Stonehenge buried at the time the stones were set up.

can we go home now?

The girls barely disguise their enthusiasm for the British Museum. Why is the place so full of truly rude vile little French boys?
Why is a coke 2 quid? Why was there a hotdog stand so close to the entrance you had to brush past it to get in?
Why was there no rock music exhibitions? Or Doctor Who? Or Charmed.
Damn.

brain gone dead

Whatever is wrong with me?
I am so lack lustre and fuzzy. My head feels crap and I can't seem to think straight. I'm going to St Austell with Spring and small spring for the weekend. We're going on the train. I didn't fancy driving. He is taking the car though. I'm worried.
I just worry that the girls will hate it. They'll be awkward. That we won't all get on. That I'll be quiet and fuzzy and spaced out all weekend.
The girls like going away in general. They love the train. They like caravans and just being away from home. But me and Spring haven't been seeing each other long. Sometimes being forced into a confined space can make you see someone in a different light. Imagine if I come home Monday and he hates me. I actually feel really nervous about this.
He invited us though. He seems to be genuinely looking forward to it. He said he'd be worried if it was the whole week.I guess that's fair enough. He's not used to teenage girls. They can be quite daunting. Mind they DO seem to like him. If we're having a minor disagreement they always stick up for him. Wimp. Needing 2 teenagers to stand up for him.... ha!
Maybe the Cornwall air will blow away the cobwebs and I'll get lively?
Deep stress. Many reasons.
A mega Phone Bill. Still no new appointment from the psychiatrist. A letter from a Court official who came to arrest the former occupant here on Thursday morning. I'm terrified they'll think I'm her and cart me off. She's STILL using this address for her DVLA stuff 5 years on.
Still can't get my head around all that pomp and ceremony from the BT Tower. And so tired. I think I'm a bit post viral.
I can't wait to see Spring but when he arrives I seems to be so dumb. Where's clever animated Trin gone?
/sigh

you couldn't make it up

At Rainbows tonight me and Collette found the accident book in the kitchen. Fascinated to see what kind of accidents happen in a church hall (aka nosy bitches)we took a peek.
There were just three entries (obv God takes care of his own... Well all except these three)
Dora (Oct 02). Dora Bruised her arm and pulled a muscle in her left leg. No idea what happened but there was a witness in Sandwich Road and she was given a paracetamol.
Elsie (Dec 04). Burnt finger. Elsie burnt her left index finger in a tree lighting incident. There were no witnesses.
Bob (April 06) Bob damaged his shin on the number 2 bus. Witness was the bus driver and it was left to said driver to report incident to his company.

3 incidents in 4 years can't be bad... But what the feck has Bob's Bus incident got to do with the church hall?
My thoughts and prayers go out to these three victims and it was very cruel of Collette to have laughed quite so much.
Bad girl.

germs and reality TV

I've given Spring my germs big time. He came over last night poorly, so poorly that he had no fight left in him to insist we watch intellectual TV.
He sat through eye opening programmes like Extreme Makeover and Copious amounts of Big Brother.
Big Brother is my passion. Sometimes it's hard to watch either from Tedium (BB4) or the exasperating antics of the inmates like Craig (anfernee I love you) Coates last year or this year looney Shabaz.
Spring watch gobsmacked, first at the American enforced emotion at having your teeth all capped with porcelain Veneers on Extreme Makeover. Then at BB. He said he couldn't believe it wasn't all scripted and people didn't behave like that?
"These people are allowed to vote?" He exclaimed.
At 11pm it all got too much and I had to put him to bed with a glass of ribena and a couple of Brufen pills.
I slept with Danz (who sleep with a big ball of germs? He's probably got Bird flu or something worse)
Danz woke up with a sore throat No school for her then. I'm panicked that she'll be ill for tomorrow but kids are more resilient than us growed up ones. I'm sure she'll survive.
Abby has another GCSE this morning
(incidently there was a funny moment in school when Danielle approached some friends of Abby and asked them how to spell GCSE)
Abby is very nervous. She got put in for a higher GCSE English which means the minimum mark is a grade D. If she fails she'll be ungraded.
Pressure pressure, poor kids. Hope we have loads of fun in London to break up the stress.

wet and wild in wiltshire

Today we went to a party. Kind of odd TBH. It was Spring's ex mother in laws 70th. Now I guess that's not the kind of place you'd expect me to go. But he was invited and he didn't want to go alone. I guess I was interested to meet these people he'd talked about and his ex wife.....
We went in his car. The old wreck convertible. It seems convertibles aren't so great when it rains. And it poured down today. My window won't go up 100% and the water was taking the piss pouring in on my skirt. I tried to shove stuff up there to stop it and finally settled on an 'Always Ultra' winged pad for those heavier moments.
Worked a treat. Kept me dry and fresh all afternoon.
The party was ok actually. Food was pretty lush and posh. I had champagne and pimms. We talked about the rat infestation in the garden. Shot some garden ornaments with a pellet gun.
The lounge was full of old women talking about alien abductions. Plus Springs ex wife was a no show. Shame.
I got home. I've been worried that I've been neglecting the girls in my new found social life. However they don't seem to care tbh. Glad, they can use the laptops and watch what they want on TV.
Not sure how to feel about that... but as long as they're happy. I guess.

take me by the stone circle

I had a great weekend which ended with me transferring my germs to Spring. The illness has now changed from a Non Specific illness to a very specific man illness. Tsk!
Yesterday we went to Wiltshire and did the Rhododendron walk on the Longleat Estate. The flowers were glorious and so colourful and the walk ended up at Heavens Gate.... well known dogging area... though we didn't actually see anything like that happening yesterday

Heavens Gate is a man made stone circle set on a ledge above Longleat. Some seats set right on the edge and you can lookover the whole magnificent area. I was blown away... Actually quite literally as it was very windy. Spring and his son small spring seemed to walk at like 30 miles an hour and left me miles behind. I was a bit slow having nearly died last week with my very significant illness.The place was full of Jap tourists trying to take my picture. I had to tell them to bog off.

This is Spring in the Asba red tee-shirt I acquired for him. I felt he blended in perfectly with the red flowers. New competition! Spot where the bush ends and spring starts.

Then we dropped small spring off at the local coal mines for his nights work and ended up at the Bath Arms. A strange place under refurbishment. I expected olde wooden country pub. We got stainless steel bar with Art decor and naked ladies on wall with legs in most bizarre positions.

The Bath Arms is so known because of Lord Bath and the estate it's on. The pub is surrounded by these weird old trees. Spooky buggers. They look worse without leaves. Kind of gives the air of haunted to the place. Shame the interior doesn't keep up the image though maybe they are scared they'll get visited by Derek Acorah so it's almost understandable.

The people were friendly though and very attentitive (I do love attentitive men) I was starving having eaten nothing for 6 months. So ordered the 'ploughmans' Not sure that was the word for the plate that arrived... But it was very yummy. Spring was horrified at the 11 quid price tag for ploughmans and chips.... But he did say the chips were nice after he ate them all!

quality father time

The kids have seen their father for the second time since Christmas. He took them to see Mission Impossible 3 at the cinema.
As per usual he brought them no sweets or drink. Nothing at all. Just paid for the cinema.
They just came home. Danz was embarrassed. He dum dum dumdummed the Mission impossible tune all the way there and back and when they got in the car he told them they were on a secret mission. Bless... yeah right.

my dear readers

a google search!!:
Google search term "living with cat and flees"
Damn I get some classy readers.

meet the parents

When Spring was here in the week (tending the sick) the door knocked. To my horror in marched Vic and Yvonne. My parents.
When you're younger it's always embarrassing to display your love interest to your parents. Their knowing little smiles (or not if the man of your choice is a 6 foot biker with a tattoo of Satan on both arms) but when you're my age (36) it's even more embarrassing.
My mother gushes "Oh helllloooo how lovely to meet you"
My father sits and stares and finding some common ground (trains) starts to tell Spring that the Somerset and Dorset Rail used to go through Whitchurch (which is wrong)
My mother then proceeds to make tea (I never offer beverages it makes them stay longer)
Sit down, feet under the table and settle down for the duration.
Spring stood up. Stooped but upright in his own stoopy way.
Mother began a tale of Auntie Doris whose in the BRI (local sick place) with some illness that required a four pint blood transfusion.
I cringed waiting for the inevitable "So what DO you do? How much do you earn? How old are you?"
They did get to the age question and I told them he was 65. I think my dad believed me because I saw him double take Springs face.
(He DOES look terribly aged though)
Then my nerves would not stand another second and I said
"You leaving then?"
Mother made some comment on not finishing her tea, commented on the price of a scale and polish these days and got up and left.
Lets hope that NEVER happens again.