Sleepwalkers who have 'sex sleep'

Sleep walk? Sleep sex?

A woman in Australia was discovered by her husband to be going out having sex with strangers...But wait. She wasn't being unfaithful. She was having sleep sex. (good excuse!)
Apparently there have been several cases of people acting out their dreams in their sleep.
Feck! This could be a problem if I ever acted out mine. Maybe I'm asleep now? Who the feck knows if anything is real? The pink pill or the blue one?

Nekkid Men on my TV

How I love the Lacoste Advert on TV for 'Pour Homme'. He has the most grabable bum in the history of TV Adverts. Why don't I get naked men walking through my house, plum butt naked sat on my sofa waiting for me to get home?
I love 'Pour Homme' as well. I'm a smell freak. I adore aftershave. We have a doctor in work who I droll over because he smells like sex on a stick.
They shouldn't show that advert just before my bedtime. No fair!

Clarrie gets an Anatomy and Physiology lesson online.

Clarrie says:
it's French for 'bored moody teenager'
Trinity says:
i didn't even manage the gym
Trinity says:
tired
Clarrie says:
awww
Trinity says:
ahh that's you
Trinity says:
French teenager
Clarrie says:
yesh
Clarrie says:
i fed up of cleaning now
Clarrie says:
being moody teen i not gonna clean my bedroom
Clarrie says:
hah
Trinity says:
good for you
Clarrie says:
i such a webel
Trinity says:
get everything pierced
Trinity says:
and become demanding
Trinity says:
oh you already are
Clarrie says:
lol
Clarrie says:
cept the piercings
Clarrie says:
only got 3 of them
Trinity says:
did you see that vile dolly
Trinity says:
your labia?
Clarrie says:
dolly with my labia?
Clarrie says:
no i missed that
Trinity says:
no dolly on website
Trinity says:
labia piercing?
Clarrie says:
ah
Trinity says:
or is it your three nipples?
Clarrie says:
yes saw dolly no labia piercing
Trinity says:
hope she never
Clarrie says:
;P
Trinity says:
she's only meant to be 8
Clarrie says:
they grow up so quick these days
Clarrie says:
etc
Trinity says:
indeed, she should come with the contraception pill
Clarrie says:
good job abby got pierced bellybutton not pierced labia
Clarrie says:
ouch
Trinity says:
yes would have been awful sticking a plaster on it
Clarrie says:
and shaving it first
Trinity says:
ummm you haven't got hairs on your labia
Trinity says:
unless you're rather strange maybe
Clarrie says:
oh
Clarrie says:
you right of course
Trinity says:
I'm a nurse
Clarrie says:
even so, nasty place to get infection
Trinity says:
indeed
Trinity says:
mind you could have fun getting someone to apply the cream?
Clarrie says:
heh
Clarrie says:
not if it your mum, tho
Trinity says:
true

You gonna kill me Clazza? I never mentioned your infection.

Friday

I got Friday on my mind. Yay a day off. I had to take Abby to the orthodontist this morning. I always send her in on her own! I got shopping at Park Street. Park Street is the cities young trendy and cool shopping centre. It's a huge hill with shops and businesses on each side and the University building sitting proudly at the top. Bristol Uni is a pretty esteemed place (Ethan Blair attends) The shops are used by lots of students.
There's some pretty unusual shops there. Some really cool bookshops like Blackwells. The Guild, which sells craft like stuff and gifts and the small things like just the right gift card. Plus clothes shops like the American second hand shop. It sells stuff like American army gear, tee-shirts, jeans etc. BS8 a very cool clothes shop full of the most up to date cool, or downplay cool stuff around. This shop is essential.But opposite I noticed a music store. It said it was independant so I nipped over. Wow it was cool. Full of bargain CDs that you must have in your collection. Priced at 5 or 7 pounds. I couldn't resist and bought

• My Iron Lung :Radiohead
• (): Sigur Ros
• Sea Change :Beck
• Datsuns :The Datsuns

I got chatted up at the till by a mad Irish man in a green felt waistcoat (as you do) who asked what I was doing for the rest of the day. He told me he was born on a lucky Rainbow. The young shop assistant was having a job stifling her laughter. Why Me?

BTW Stalker thinks he's taking me out tomorrow night. He has sent me emails describing the selection of potatoes in the Stag and Hounds pub. You reckon that will attract me?

I'm coming around 1930 hours OK? I will book the Stag & Hounds, there is a very good and large selection. Choice of chips, potatoes veg etc with all sorts of meals.

Scary stuff. Why me?

Hanging with Hannah

Who in their right mind would want to buy a lifelike 8 year old female doll?
Read the Spec :

Remember what it's like to have an eight year old around? Collectible "Hannah," a long-limbed, lively strawberry blonde with bright eyes, unruly hair, and a non-stop personality that will amaze you! To enhance the look of a real little girl, this vinyl doll wears cross-stitch embroidered denim overalls over a pink blouse with lace trim. She even has tiny flower earrings with sparkling pink stones! Such a pretty girl!
Best of all, Hannah is constructed and weighted so you can pose her almost any way you can think of! This doll from Ashton-Drake is such a realistic doll that you simply must have her for yourself. One look and you'll love Hannah forever - order now!
Assuredly one of the most realistic dolls you've ever seen - you'll be amazed at her open-mouth smile (showing precisely sculpted teeth), blue-grey eyes, long strawberry blonde hair, and beautifully sculpted hands and feet.
Specially weighted and fully posable - show off Hannah in any setting in your home!

$200 of fun? fully poseable? will fit in any setting? Paedophile's dream?
This is really scary. That people out there buy this stuff? Have a real life size 8 year old, doll in their homes? Do you take it around with you, move from room to room? I just don't get it.
Check out some of the others. Emily and Jasmine Real ugly. Ok lots of newborns have a scrunched up raw look at birth but do you really want a doll like that? Strange old world we live in (would you really want a doll if you're over 10? ok Corgan might!Feck the plush Kitten's not included)

Blogshares ate my Double Decker

Blogshare and care if you dare

I've decided to stop my obsession with the evil eBay and concentrate on my new game. Blogshares. I discovered it from Corgan, clicked the link and was hooked. I like finding new blogs through it...Then buying them...all of them. I'm a mogul, a managing director with staff under me. They're all men!
Blogshares has given me new friends. People buy parts of my blog. I hope I never decline. The words, This is a 'declining blog' fills me with dread. How do you recline but not decline?
Corgan sent me some shares in his blog. Aww the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Then he bought some of my shares and sent me a note. He said 'I now own a part of you' I'm anxious to know which part, so I may keep it especially pure for him. There isn't much of me that is pure.
I sent him some chips...Before I realised they sold on the hot market for 25 million EACH. But a friend in need.
Then I decided to give some shares away to Chad. Bless. He then sends me a note to say he's very rich and doesn't feel right taking them (rich? wonder if he's gorgeous looking too?). Then I see he's the top Blogsharer this week and has about 100 million thousand dollars. What a lush man though. I hope to meet more like him. On my new favourite game.
Would you like a piece of me? Dial 20725

Gawd NO

Geri Halliwell new Album, new single

The ginger one with no voice is releasing a new Album and Single next month. Have we not been tormented enough by the ex spice pack? Victoria Beckham, the simply vile Mel B (love Bo selecta) and the others I forget. OK Spice was rad (for 10 seconds) but can't they get it into their heads WE DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE!.
I see Robbie is at number one. I just saw his video on TRL. I'm sure he's been digitally enhanced. He has cheek bones and this golden glow. Hate the video. It's stupid.
Mrs Federline (whatever she's called) has a new single out. I caught part of that video with the pop princess thrashing around a bed with a white bra on. Bet she didn't buy that at Marks and Spencers. I think she should retire and dedicate her time making her step daughter less geeky looking.
I've decide already that my fav song of 2004 (besides Run, which is most special) is Green Day's American Idiot. It truly rocks. I bought Abby the cd for Christmas, but the little cow found it and begged to keep it. Tsk.
I also love Scissors Sisters 'Mary' his voice is delicious. I love how the fab gay one sings about womens names.
And to end...I just saw an ad for the anti-Christ Celine Dion's new album. She was clutching poor innocent babies to her naked body. Anne Geddes Photography. Babies in plant pots, babies in silly outfits, babies in wheelbarrows with knitted flower hats on. Now babies with Anti-Christ. /shudders.

I have this recurring dream of being abducted by aliens and used as some sex experiment, I'm never scared but unable to move or escape. Then I wonder if I actually do want to get free. I'm going to buy a dreams book and analyse myself. I also dream I'm at the gym and suddenly I'm totally naked. I wish though that I'd dream I'm at the gym dressed and everyone else is totally naked. I wonder if this watching sweaty, hot men work out is doing me any good? I love men.  

Poor Abby

Remember Abby having her belly button pierced? Well don't say I told you so but it's no longer pierced. I think the problem was that at 6 weeks she was desperate to change the bar. She bought these cheapy ones from Argos that she liked and changed them, It started to look nasty then. Gradually her body has rejected the metal and the area has necrosed until this morning when I looked the bar was showing through her skin and after cleaning it the bar pulled right out leaving a hole.
She was absolutely distraught. She sobbed on the sofa for ages and felt sick. She was so proud of having had it done. She said nothing good in her life goes right for her.
I told her that basically if she wasn't mature enough to accept that sometimes piercings go septic than she wasn't mature enough to have it done in the first place.
Anyways for some reason she has a sore hip as well and walking hurts? Weird. So she was sent home from school.
I'm not sure I was a 'good' mother for letting her have it done. But they learn from their own mistakes not ours.

New Game

The little streets around my house are a bit of a rat-run. Lots of cars, vans and lorries scoot past to cut off a bit of their journey. But this week the road adjacent to mine has been blocked off. Ha! This morning was fun, watching everyone drive very fast past then have to back up and turn back. I can't WAIT for the next police chase. It's going to be such fun.
The traffic in town today was awful. Road works everywhere, The Filton roundabout was responsible for most of my patients turning up an hour late for appointments. For heavens sake, they dig up the roads and then 2 weeks later dig them up again. I HATE road diggers, temporary traffic lights and tractors.
And whilst I'm on a traffic rant.... I've been noticing the bad drivers on today's roads aren't the women but the 60-70 year old men. There seems to be loads of them on the roads. Well Grandad you might have been a good driver in your day but on today's busy roads you're a liability. The older women seem to realise they need to be a bit careful, but the men? This week every day whilst I've been (speeding) hurrying to work or back an older man has pulled out infront of me, then proceeds to drive at 15 miles per hour. Or one of my 'favs' is to pull out, make me brake sharply then immediately want to turn right, so I have to wait there for five minutes till a big enough gap for a car driving at 5 miles per hour appears and he can get across.
I watched an old guy reverse 'into' a parking space at McDonalds tonight. He reversed three times onto the pavement and the fourth time onto the pavement AND into the Macdonald rubbish bin. His car? a huge estate one. Obviously needed to compensate his ever decreasing penis size.
Get a metro and a box of viagra there's a love.

Green Monster

Meanwhile over at Bill's place the anonomous work blogging issue rages on and on in amongst the love and adoration. I see Madame Clarrie has joined the debate. She's always trying to steal my Men. Hussy!

Have you ever wondered what women discuss?

Trinity says:
Jude text me last night
Trinity says:
yep
Clarrie says:
i txt her today bout double deckers
Clarrie says:
the choc not the buses
Trinity says:
no way you too are catching the bus obsession
Clarrie says:
heh
Trinity says:
do you get a thrill when you see them rumble past?
Trinity says:
you reckon its the hum of the engine?
Trinity says:
I just don't get it
Clarrie says:
or the joy of the gear stick?
Trinity says:
the way the wheels go round and round
Clarrie says:
all day long
Trinity says:
yes
Clarrie says:
it's a boy thing
Trinity says:
boys toys
Clarrie says:
they like to gather facts
Trinity says:
fucks?
Clarrie says:
and useless information
Clarrie says:
they have free time, you see
Clarrie says:
women have emotional lives, men save time by not having any emotional lives so they have to fill it somehow
Trinity says:
yes we are slaves to our emotions
Clarrie says:
no we are slaves to other people's
Trinity says:
locked in the cell of emotional incompatibility
Clarrie says:
also men traditionally save time by not doing cooking, cleaning etc
Trinity says:
i want to be a slave
Clarrie says:
so they can tend to their beermat collection
Clarrie says:
nah

Women are so superly intellectual. Sometimes I amaze myself. Sometimes Clazza amazes the cat.

Etiquette

You know my mate Bill? The gentleman who linked me to him for all eternity?
He writes this imperative blog on all stuff that is Blog. Quote 'style, content, freebies (want freebies now) and etiquette'. Well I just posted I love him in the comments box and wondered, as one does. If that is correct blogger etiquette.
Is it well mannered to express such affection this way or should I have done it privately behind the bike shed? Questions questions. It's so hard being this intelligent.

Bad eBay

My recent eBay purchases. And can anyone tell me why I need these things? Ok the Bus mirror. A 1980's creation. Very popular and reminds me of my childhood. I'm hoping it will make me a fortune in 20 years and I can retire to Benidorm on the proceeds. The Teddies...Well I collect them but it means more if I get them as gifts. So why buy them? Because I could. I have to stop buying from eBay. In case you hadn't noticed ; I have an obsessional personality and my obsessions move regularly. I've had some awful obsessions. I know I do it and now I try hard not to play. But often I don't realise it till it's too late. Like the £400 I spent on eBay this fortnight. Hmmm it has to stop and admitting it is the first step.

Bad Baby Girl

The face of pure naughtiness. She kept Abby up from 4.30 am by jumping on her CD player and pressing the buttons. 'I don't wanna be an American Idiot' screaming out. The cat KNOWS how to switch it on and which buttons to press!

You're Toast

There's a smell coming from the kitchen. Is it Cliff's new parfume? Nah it's Abby burning toast. A plume of billowing grey smoke pouring from the toaster. She got it stuck. Another Nigella Lawson in the making?....I don't think so.

Cliff whiffs

Not since the Woolworth's fantastic marketing of Peter Andre's 'Insania' Perfume has there been such a smell in the air at the perfume counter. Yes the moment we all thought would never happen (well hoped) Sir Cliff has launched his own perfume range. 'Miss you Nights' retails at £65
Just look at that carefully shaped bottle shaped bottle. The adorable white plastic cap and that black nylon bow adding a certain je ne sais quois to the entire range.
But wait hear Sir Cliff talk about the inspiration for the scent.

I spent my early childhood in Madcity, where I was surrounded by exotic scents. One of my earliest memories is of my mother fanning herself in the tropical heat with a sandalwood fan. To recapture this memory I have included some beautiful sandalwood in the formula and you can smell the sweet woody notes lingering long after the floral and spicy notes have faded.

So this perfume reminds him of old mums Fanny fanning. How delightful. I better NOT get this in my stocking or Santa is dead.

Jackson anger over Eminem video

MJ wants to stop the ridicule

MJ makes me conflicted. Part of me feels the different and socially challenged shouldn't be made fun of. It's not nice and it's hurtful. But come on? Michael you are really freaky. MJ needs some deep psychological help. It's hard not to view the plastic faced recluse as anything more than a total nutcase.
The court case, the interaction with his kids, the baby with the blanket over his face.
Eminem isn't one to mix his words or thoughts.
If you don't want to attract such attention Michael. Try not being quite so odd.

Court to rule on sick baby care

BBC another little baby going to court

I can't quite understand why this case needs to go to court. I have lots of experience of Edwards Syndrome. They all do die as babies and this mum is perfectly right that she should spend as much quality time with him as possible. But today's medical advances mean that these children are constantly monitored and have so much medical intervention. I feel it was better years ago. When the babes were allowed to go home without all this equipment and worrying monitors and the parents enjoy them as REAL babies. To cuddle and hold and kiss and love. Until it was time for them to go. This condition is incurable.
These parents need memories to hold on to, of walking the baby in his pram in the sunshine and bathing him in their own front room. Of sitting up at four am with him asleep on their shoulder.
Not hospitals and tubes and flashing alarms and different faces.
How sad. I know what I'd want.

Wednesday

8.20 am I'm making sandwiches, putting on make-up, feeding the cats, looking for lost gym shorts and work ID badges and putting out the wheelie Bin. We finally make it out of the house. Danz to school. I drop Abby (Miss I don't do mornings) at school. If I didn't take her she wouldn't go. And I hit the city traffic when I become convinced my Cell phone is playing The Streets. Fit but my god don't you know it...Shit it is. So I answer it.
It's Danielle's school. There's no school today. Some jerk had drilled through some mains and the place is flooded.
Feck, I'm in charge today and wanted to be in early.
So a major detour and drop her at grannies (god help Danz) A day with the geriatrics of Bemmie.
Work was ok, a mass of telephone calls to make and consultants to sort out. Mind I do have this talent. I can make any miserable old bugger do exactly what I want them to. A little charm and a smile and the threat to sit on their laps always works.
I didn't feel terribly patient with the time wasters today though. It shows mainly when I open the door.
ding dong
me 'hello'
them' can I visit Joe Blogs'
me 'There isn't a Joe Blogs here what ward is he on?'
them 'Seahorse ward'
Me 'well would you like to press the button for Seahorse ward then and not ME'
slam down phone.
Bet they think Bitch.
Anyways I've just been to the Gym. Wow I'm getting better. My stamina is better and I seem stronger. Also my confidence is growing. I speak to everyone. Makes me feel good.
Now we are home and we have the ever Grating 'Charmed' marathon on Living TV. From 5pm till 7pm.
And school better be open tomorrow or else.

Madcity

Hmm did I ought to worry about my forthcoming visit to Madcity? The radio one news Today said there were three sex attackers on the lose. Clazza better look after me.
The new desk said all the attacks were in the Greater Manchester Area? What's greater about Manchester? Which part is greater than the other part. We don't have a greater area where I live although some parts certainly aren't great.
Very odd.
I am liking Scott Mills in the mornings. Not only is he fresh and entertaining but he always plays some really good music. Chris Moyles bugger off! Stay on holiday. I'm fed up of your megalomaniac attitude and crap music taste. Scott actually PLAYS music. All Moyles does is drone on, the sound of his voice becomes very tiresome and I have to put the Radiohead tape in. Which I adore, but The Bends isn't really morning music. (I only got one tape apart from Danielle's Joseph and his technicolour dreamcoat tape which I try to forget at all costs )
My mate reckons I've led a very sheltered life because I've never heard of Holland Ace sauce? Is it Dutch? Do you serve it with a tulip decoration?
Oh and one final thing. I :heart: Corgan. He gave me 1000 shares in his blog as a gift. I shall hold them close to my beating heart (and sell when the price is right)
Corgan is a sweetie.
xxx

My Dyslexic Danz

I saw Danielle's teacher today and they've diagnosed Dyslexia with the help of the official scorer. She's classically dyslexic. In all other ways she's an intelligent, bright child. But her reading age is far below average and she has a problem with audio sequential skills.
It's often hereditary and I think her father is dyslexic now. The more I think about it. Imagine being dyslexic and not diagnosed all those years ago> just being classed as stupid.
So I need to do some work on this. Research to find out what I can do. Apparently many parents have to pay for extra help to overcome problems. Not good.

All that glitters is Gold

I want this watch. I'm a sucker for all that glitters. Anything sparkly I want. Look at all those sparkly gems of all colours. Imagine it catching the light. I think this sparkly piece would make me a better person, make me do great things. Help old men across the road, feed the world, stop war and pestilence
(is that a word?) Shiny Shiny my precious.  

Gives a whole new meaning to the word Prick. 

I am a Yellow Star wow. This shows I am a serious eBayer. It gives me the chance to download my certificate and display it proudly on my wall. I might just do that. Imagine the prestige and honour this award will give me? I am indeed blessed